Friday, 28 March 2008

Fighting Nipple Jihad (Lubbock Style)

So out in Lubbock this week....some gal was flying from the major international airport there....in lovely Lubbock.....to Dallas. Personally....I'd question why she didn't ride Trailways or just have mama drive her over....but she had to fly. So the TSA boys.....here after referred to as the Nipple Police....were duly at the standing position and ready to fight nipple jihad if necessary.

The gal.....Mandi Hamlin...apparently (at least in several sources)....got past the radar door frame with no issue. I'm guessing she was wearing a loose fitting outfit and one of the fine Nipple Police noted this. So they wanted to do a wand check....and caught some metal activity on Mandi's chest. Mandi didn't mind....she was a nipple-pierced gal....no big deal. Well....the Nipple Police decided that just showing the female member of the Nipple Police was not enough. Nope....they insisted that it be removed. Mandi tried and tried to just take them nipple items off....but they wouldn't come off....and then one member of the Nipple Police pulled out his multi-tool.

You can just imagine this scene.....folks backed up....Mandi standing behind a screen.....a bunch of TSA Nipple Police laughing and giggling like little kids. And Mandi ended up cutting it off.

The TSA crowd claimed later that there are ways to handle this....and would have been more appropriate but they are standing by their Nipple Police in Lubbock. They won't apologize. Mandi has a lawyer now....and went public today....and I'm guessing the head dimwit of TSA....the head NIPPLE himself.....is going to have a bit to take from public reaction.

How serious is the threat of nipple jihad? You Americans simply don't grasp what this all means. Once you allow one woman to wander through with a nipple piercing...then dozens will do it, and then hundreds....and then thousands. We in America don't need the threat of nipples upon our front doorstep. This nipple jihad is wrong.

So for the brave boys who mount the Nipple Patrol at the Lubbock Airport.....we in the sissy-boy world salute you. You did your very best and hopefully can protect us from various nipple piercings...include naval, and even more private places where both men and women keep things real private. America can rest quietly and securely tonight...knowing the Nipple Police is on the guard....protecting us.

Somewhere in the midst of this mess.....I'm kinda wonder where a guy can apply to be a member of the Nipple Police....and if they'd just accept a redneck character from Alabama. I'm also wondering if any member of the Lubbock Nipple Patrol...has a nipple piercing himself and if so....how did he get past the magic wand without having his removed? Oh....maybe this is too personal....but then....Mandi would be curious to know too.

1 comment:

Momma Bear said...

lol! Again.. only in Texas! Jeeeeeeeesh. Now, if ONLY we could get them to be THAT vigilant about illegals here. sigh.