Saturday, 28 June 2008

You Texas Folks


So sometime in the night two weeks ago....that Governor's mansion in Texas burnt to a fair degree.

The governor came out....and did his best to avoid weeping....and said damn....we gotta rebuild this thing back to the way that it was. Yep....he didn't say that they'd spend tens of millions....which is the likely price tag....but you got to expect Texans to be stupid enough to rebuild the damn place.

Then in the last week....the boys came out again....and said that some country and western singers are going to help make up some money for the damn state....to rebuild this...to include Travey Byrd, and Clay Walker. I'm guessing that Willie Nelson will show up....and maybe all of the former Dallas Cowboy quarterbacks for the past forty years.

Then someone from the state office said that the building will have to be built "green". For those from Ripley, who don't get it....this means its got to be environmentally friendly....so folks.....get wise here....it isn't going to look a bit like the old governor's mansion that existed. So I'm sitting here.....thinking long and hard. Who the heck burnt that thing? Cause I'm thinking they are environmentalist at heart. This was some planned episode....to redo the whole image of the state....going from old Texas look....to green environmental Texas look.

So here I am....thinking long and hard....being from Bama....and I'm thinking....what the HECK. Lets not waste time here or money. Lets get the governor back into a real Texas home real quick. Up highway 44, over near Wichita Falls....there is a fella who moves excess houses around. And he's got a beauty up for sale....just $20k, and you got yourself a real Texas house.

So my plan is this....every Texas resident pays a nickel....and we buy the damn house. We get the 300 Texas rangers lined up between Austin and Wichita Falls....and we cross half the state on the interstate system...with this damn house. We'll drive around bridges and power lines....and get that damn house over to the governor's lot in just a day or two. Put up a post box....and put a car up on the cement blocks....and there you go....a real Texas home.

Forget this damn environmental stuff....the green stuff....and spending $40 million on Argentine oak to be shipped in. We will get a real Texas house that any regular guy would be proud of.

Wednesday, 25 June 2008

Reorientating the Immoral Compass

For months, I was worried that John McCain was going to be honest and morally capable.....which worried me. Typically, you can always depend upon Republicans to take bribes and be generally dishonest...as much as a democrat. So today.....I finally started to see signals of things going back to the old republican party I was used

EADS, who had the Air Force bid in their pocket for the new tanker....came to discover last week that the audit favored Boeing. In fact....the audit guys sat there and scratched their head because things were really screwed up. By the end of the audit....it was apparent that the Air Force bent various rules...to award EADS the contract for $45 billion.

Who was behind this effort? Well....John McCain, of course.

John actually wrote some amazing letters to the Air Force....giving them various bits of advice....which amazed everyone how well that he understands this entire tanker business and manufacturing. Course, then we discovered today that four members of John's campaign staff are former EADS lobbyists.

This has certainly helped me resettle my worries that the republicans were finally getting clean and pure. It would have sadly been a tragedy for America to lose one of its best corrupt organizations.

What happens at this point with John McCain? I'm guessing the democrats will call for a hearing and ask why he issued his big letter to the Air Force....and what he else he did in supporting EADS. We may find by November that he's not exactly the kind of guy you'd want as president.

Tuesday, 24 June 2008

The Kindly Violin Teacher

Briana Waters was a dimwitted 25-year old supporter of environmentalists back in 2001. She assisted (without any doubt), in the burning of a research center at University of Washington. The court this week....gave the former violin teacher.....a 6-year stint in a federal jail and a fine of six million. She attempted to show how she'd become a model citizen....having a kid....even getting 250 letters from folks who felt good about her....but the judge didn't really care.

This is the individual who fired two of her public attorneys and then got upset with the final guy because he was extremely tough on the court itself.

The judge even went to the extent of denying her any freedom upon the conclusion of the sentencing....starting the episode immediately for her.

Whats interesting about this case....after you read through the whole thing...is what the judge said to Waters at the end. He spoke to her....of failing to take responsibility for her actions.....not admitting guilt at any time in the entire case.....and then showed such a "sense of arrogance and entitlement in the case it would almost be comical if it wasn't so serious."

She apparently did win some sympathy from the jury because several charges were "not-guilty", thus avoiding the 30-year sentence.

I'm guessing Briana will find the federal prison system to be an interesting experience....maybe enough to modify her behavior and start worrying about bigger things in life than environmental crimes. I have no idea what the parole deal will be but I'm thinking she will serve a good five years before they release her from the prison. The old friends? Well....she might not be very happy or cordial with them....as she is released....and if they ever bring up any future environmental crime idea....she'll be the first to leave the room. Its a sad day across the nation....for violin teachers.

Sunday, 22 June 2008

Truism: Introduction


For forty odd years, I've walked around with this thinking in my head and never thought much of it. Today, I was standing there looking over at Flickr....and came to this picture....and started browsing. I had never grasped the significance or understanding of truism. a little knowledge can go a long way.

So here are a dozen-odd truisms to drive home the point.

A positive attitude means all the difference in the world

A relaxed man is not necessarily a better man

Absolute submission can be a form of freedom

Bad intentions can yield good results

Boredom makes you do crazy things

Don't place to much trust in experts

Every achievement requires a sacrifice

Government is a burden on the people

Humor is a release

It's better to be a good person than a famous person

It's not good to hold too many absolutes

Leisure time is a gigantic smoke screen

Nothing upsets the balance of good and evil

Pain can be a very positive thing

People who go crazy are too sensitive

The world operates according to discoverable laws

You can't expect people to be something they're not

Forever Changed

Since Friday night, I've been browsing various forums which discuss the gas price episode, the futures players, and people discussing how this is effecting today.

There are several obvious things that stand out in this analysis.

The majority of folks believe "the issue" is competition by China and India to buy gas...not the futures crowd. But if you ask them about the futures business...they clam up and admit they really don't understand it. The competition crowd also believes that our lack of drilling in Alaska and the gulf region....is the chief reason that the oil price has gone up.

The pressure on congress over the next month to open ANWR and the Gulf? It'll be significant and a major retreat for the Democrats. The majority of folks believe ANWR is now history.

Now we come to the beef of this blog....the effect.

Its fascinating the directions that people now believe this episode leads to. First....if this is a futures "balloon", then that balloon will burst. It may be next month, next year, or even in five years, but this balloon has to burst. Because of the number of pension funds involved....there is strong speculation that a national financial crisis will occur, with some folks losing a vast amount of their future pension. Congress will likely have meetings to discuss why this was so stupid and why no one acted (to include the idiots themselves).

Once the barrel price tops $200....the effect on people will start to branch out and trigger a reflection upon habits, lifestyle, and the future.

Airlines in the 1950s and 1960s....were a thing for the folks of wealth. In my hometown of Florence, Alabama....there might have been 40 people who had flown commercial airlines in the early 1960s. Most were people who had a significant income and could afford to pay big tickets. It wasn't until the mid-1970s that cheaper discounted tickets and hubs started to make airline travel a possible action for the regular guy on the street. At the current rate....by the end of 2009....we might be at a point where a normal ticket is now double what it was in 2007. The folks at the bottom of the middle class....will begin to pass on airline travel....for any reason. The folks who paid for their daughter to fly four times a year back to Mississippi from her university in Maryland? They will likely cut this flight activity down to two times. The guys who bought the cheap Vegas tickets for a weekend for them and the wife to have fun....will stay local and avoid Vegas.

Will places like Disneyland and Vegas suffer? Yes....without any doubt. Vegas might be seeing a 20 percent cut in its daily traffic by the end of 2009. The Disney crowd might notice the same thing. If I have to pay more for fuel and tickets.....maybe I'll just stay home.

The speedboat crowd? You could burn up 30 gallons of fuel on a good day at the lake on your boat. When it was $2.5.....this was a reasonable cost for a day. At $5.....around $150 for the tank.....you will start to cut back the usage....and eventually question why you even need a boat out there if you only use it six times a year.

The RV crowd? They lose on every tank of gas. The whole industry may be in serious trouble within three years and you might just see three or four companies surviving after that point. It'll be strictly the rich who end up running these.

Cops will likely have a gas-bill for every single ticket and arrest that they make. The fee will be passed straight onto you.

The fire department gets a call to your house....there will likely be a fee somewhere in their bill....that you end up paying.

We are in a lifestyle spiral....forced into change...whether we wanted it or not. We had an acceptance of $2 a gallon for gas....NOT $4 a gallon. We had plans each year to drive $300 of gas to visit Grandma and family on Thanksgiving....but at $600....its just not worth the trouble. We dreamed of the $5k trip to Christchurch, New Zealand, but now discover the ticket is $7k....and our dream is ebbing along into the sunset.

The amusing thing is that we will still cut the grass each week and waste a gallon or two there....to make things presentable. We will still offer to drive the neighbor to their doctor's appointment sixty miles away....because it was the right thing to do. We will still drive over 150 miles on the Friday after Thanksgiving to shop at the mega-mega-mega mall and buy the right Xmas presents. And we will still drive 40 miles to watch some demolition derby match on a Friday night without the wife.

Change is acoming....no matter what we think. It will be upon us....and we never even thought much about it.

Saturday, 21 June 2008

The Ramstein Commissary & Tramps

A few weeks ago, I blogged about the tasteless dress of women at the Ramstein Commissary....where I shop on Saturdays. The issue then....was women in pajamas and t-shirts.

Things in the past two weeks have gone downhill a fair bit.

Last week....there was the mid-twenties gal....in some kinda skirt with a dozen odd slits from the waist down to the end....which the skirt was already as short as possible. With any step....everything was showing....which would have been ok....if she had been wearing underwear (obviously, she wasn't).

This week.....the next two episodes I noticed. First, there was the mid-thirties gal who was wearing some kind of leather mini shorts.....with a very tight fit. The top was a bikini-like top which covered 30 percent of her boobs.....with little to wonder about. I just stood there and kept thinking it was as sluttish as you can get. I was wrong.

On the next aisle....was a woman wearing a white one piece skirt...which was held up by her boobs.....no halters....shoulders in full view. The thing here was her fourteen odd tattoos. From the neck on down to the ankle....were various tattoos. So the slutty one....was this basketball sized one on her shoulder, in full view with this type skirt. Here was some woman inked into the image who was sitting on her rear end....her legs wide-spread....and various things readily exposed in ink....on this tattoo. I stood there and looked at this.....some 14 year-old kid was there with his mom....pushing the cart....and basically had his mouth wide-open.....gasping.

I conferred with some guy a few weeks ago....who lives over near Mannheim and asked how bad it was there there. He just smiled. They actually have someone at the front door on Saturdays and Sundays.....to forbid entry to tramps and badly dressed wives. I asked him if that fixed the problem....and he said "yep, I only shop Monday through Friday now."

He even went to the extreme of comparing Ramstein and the other Army-run commissary....saying his place was twice as trampy as Ramstein. Dang, I thought....I need to shop over there. But its just too far.

Its an amusing thing.....knowing that in Bama.....women tend to dress and be somewhat reasonable in their clothing choices. You'd never see a Bama gal shopping in pajamas or wearing some leather outfit two sizes too small.

What I'd like to do is start carrying a cam with me and capture all of this to put on the blog.....but half of it would be adult-mature, and I'd probably be kicked off blogger for doing something like that. So those of you.....really wanting an eyeful.....consider shopping at the Ramstein commissary....especially on Saturday morning, in the summer heat.

Sikhs & Their Woes

So here is the situation....a Sikh, which is a religious group who you can easily recognize with a 15-foot long piece of cloth around their head and always with a beard. ....is also a cop for the British police. This one particular Sikh wanted to joing the region's counter-terrorist Operational Support Unit. As things progressed in this effort....the guys in charge came to realize that the Sikh guy. To be in this special unit....you had to be able to wear a helmet, and a respirator.....over his turban and beard.

As days passed, into weeks....the cops spent well over $150k on an attempt to find ANY kind of protective gear for this guy, which would fit over the turban and give him a airtight seal over the beard area. They could not find a single company in the world which makes such a device.

At some point near the end of this search....the cop then claimed that he was being discriminated against.

The guy spent almost eighteen months....on this search....given special pay status during this entire period....and then reverted back to being a regular cop. He now claims....weeks after being "dumped", that he has serious stress issues. He is on long-term leave right now....from this stress, in fact.

The cops right now in charge of this region...really don't want to chat much about this....certainly not wanting to admit that $150k worth of time and effort have been flushed down the toilet. This is the UK....you know....and folks let all of their common sense go down the tubes over forty years ago.

The amusing thing....somewhere in the midst of this entire episode....there was one comment from the cop's chief spokeswoman said: “West Midlands Police is a diverse organisation, which both serves and recruits from a diverse community". Then they added....to make us all pretty weepy-eyed....."As an employer committed to equality and diversity, we are working to try and find a solution to what is a national issue. This worthwhile work continues.”

My guess....the guy will get early retirement....probably $1500 a month for the rest of his life....because of the damn turban and beard. I'm thinking....somewhere in Bama....we gotta start this mess with the turbans up there and grow some beards.....and try to rip off the government there in the same fashion. The only trouble is that the Baptists just aren't partial to turbans.....and Wanda Jean from the sleeze trailer park who we might associate with in a physical sort of way....dislikes bearded fellas. This might take a while.

UC of Berkeley and the Sacred Trees

The university out at Berkeley, CA....is having some issues. Some big-money folks want a athletic training facility put up on a open field area where a couple of trees lie....all on state property (the university of course).

The facility is valued at $140 million....though with cost over-runs....I'd be thinking of $190 million by the end.

Some environmentalists, and some teachers....are very upset about the trees having to go....so they've had tree-sitters up in the trees for months. They've had teachers and students bringing over food and water to keep the guys going.

The university is a bit upset....the press coverage is making them look stupid, and this simply continues on....day after day.

This week, a judge asked for information about the earthquake values of the facility to be built....trying to delay the episode one more time. The odds are that the college did their job....hired a top-notch design guy and he built lots of earthquake features into the building. But its another week of delay built into this.

The sitters? Well....they did drag down one guy yesterday....and there are a couple left to go. Cops got aggressive and have been cutting off water and food to them. The teachers are upset about the poor dudes in the trees now....starving....just ain't right.

Me? If this were Bama.....a guy would go out and find a big enough truck and launch into a tree at 50 mph.....and bring down the tree and the idiot in the tree. Or we could do the Auburn trick of laying 50 rolls of toilet paper over the entire tree....and then setting the paper on fire (from the late 80's episode). Once the idiot falls to the ground....then start chasing them with a bucket of cow manure.....and kinda get the idea into them that this is going to be "fun" now.

The New Era

So in an imaginary day (in the not so long future)....oil runs up around $225 a barrel.

A letter comes in the mail from the county courthouse, from the county commission. A special fee has been assessed on property throughout the county, to help the school system survive between issues with bus gas and natural gas to heat the schools. Its a $400 yearly fee, due in 45 days.

As you call your plumber to come out and fix the overflowing toilet, he lets you know that there is a service-fuel charge now for this 20-minute service ($7), which is on top of the normal bill.

Then you call kid who normally mows your yard to change the regular mow from Thursday to Friday....and he says sure, but he's just added a $6 gas-service fee onto his $18 mow charge.

You jump into the car and run over to Mo's water world where you buy the four big water canisters for your bottled water usage in the house, and Mo lets you know that next week....he is starting a $1 a bottle gas service-fee to pay the delivery guy who comes in from the "springs" with the fresh water each week.

You stop to discuss matters with the fruit stand on highway 44. There, Ms. Moline in her tube top....addresses all the issues you are concerned with. You nod in agreement....noting her chest primarily. Then she lets you know that she has additional fuel costs, which she is passing along to customers via a 2-cent per pound fee. Doesn't matter what you buy....the 2-cent deal gets calculated into the cost. You aren't nodding anymore.

Then you drive over to Wal-Mart, where you buy the $95 worth of groceries for the week, and then note a little fee at the bottom in the area of gas-service charge....$1. Yep, Wal-Mart is going to pass its increasing cost of fuel straight to you the consumer. Why even bother trying to add it into the 55,000 items in the store?

After that, you drive by the fish stand to pick up a dozen catfish for grilling tonight, and find a $3 gas-service fee added to the normal cost of the fish....to pay for the truck which brought the fish out.

Later, you stop by the stripper bar on highway 14.....to sip some cold beer and watch strippers. Somewhere along the act....they let you know that there is a 10-cent gas-service fee on the beer, and a $8 gas-service fee on watching the strippers who had to drive over from the local college.

Later that evening....the local deacon from the church calls up....mostly to tell you that he saw you over at the strippers joint on highway 14....but then to inform you that the church as a new policy about donating to a energy-service fee ($2 per member per week, on top of the normal donation). This is to pay for energy they use for cooling the church on hot Sundays or heating it on cold Sundays. Strangely enough, the deacon doesn't mention that the typical church in 1905 had a pot-belly stove to heat near the front of the church and no one had any AC to cool themselves. Its information that you really don't need.

Later, the kids arrive from out driving around. They need $135 to fill the tank on their car.

At eleven that night, you open your billfold and note that its practically empty and you won't be paid for another three days. Now you start to wonder where the money went, and just far you can survive in this "BOLD NEW WORLD". Things are not the same....and you really don't know the question to ask or the answer to expect.

Supply and Demand

With the futures market in energy booming currently....thus driving up the price of natural gas, gas, and almost everything you buy....we ought to sit back and ponder for a minute this concept of supply and demand.

I've been told in various forums this week (to be unnamed), that its a "God-given right" to invest and speculate in energy futures. No one wants to really discuss the Enron loophole in this right-wing forums....what they do want to discuss is opening up ANWR and having all coastal exploration for energy in 4th gear. The key to every single argument that they make...is that supply and demand will correct the situation.

So I sat back and considered supply and demand. When you go to Wal-Mart and buy toothpaste....are you paying the actual true value and profit of that tube of toothpaste? The answer is no. Does supply and demand kick in and establish the price for toothpaste? To some degree...but then we have some other factors. For example....Wal-Mart has theft that goes on daily, with shop-lifting affecting the bottom line. So the company has a little percentage of a "fee" that they attach to every store's pricing situation....to make up for shop-lifting. This has little to nothing to do with supply and demand. Then you consider that each Wal-Mart measures the competition in the local area, and they have another little plus-up or minus-down....if there is heavy competition, they take off one or two points on the price of each item...to be the lowest in the area. If there is little competition (a town with no real alternate to Wal-Mart), then they add a point or two.

As you look across the economic area that we live in....supply and demand might be in place....but everything has factors to add to it.

In the case of the speculators who are driving the price of oil to $140, and likely to $200 by Feb 2009....you start to notice its not individual players on this wagon. Several major pension funds (to include our favorite two "Yahoo" players out of Detroit) are on this game. When the bubble eventually bursts.....say at $180 or $240 or even $300....it'll drop fairly quickly....maybe down to $100. The pension funds? It'll be hard to explain to Uncle Joe how his $250k in retirement funds is now worth $160k. Uncle Joe isn't going to want to know the why...he'll want someone put in jail.

Supply and demand is a rather odd concept that we were all taught in high school and college. The amusing thing is that we never were told about the outside influences on supply and demand. I don't remember a single minute of my economics 101 class ever discussing this. I don't remember our history teacher in high school ever going into any detail....other than a brief ten-minute example of how supply and demand works. The vast public? They will recite what they know from the local paper or talking to Uncle Joe at the VFW hall.

So this whole supply and demand thing starts to bubble over....into the delivery cost of your paper. Little Fred wants a gas-usage fee tied to the paper subscription....$40 a year. Barney, the guy who does your tree trimming each fall with an entire day of cutting will have a $20 gas-usage fee tied into his usual bill. The airport business will find fewer customers but rising costs....so they will tack on a $33 energy usage-fee to each ticket. The cops will eventually have a $75 fuel usage fee attached to any arrest, to get you back to the jailhouse. The beer guys? They will have a 5-cent a six pack fee for each store as they start to deliver items.

None of these events have anything really to do with supply and demand....we've gone beyond that door. The guy at the end of this mess....the speculator....is the guy now scratching his head, and wondering why the weekend flight to Phoenix for golf with the big guys....went up $100....and the hotel now has a $5 a day energy usage fee tied into winter visits. Yet the same guy will stand there and discuss how to speculate even further on the futures market and take home more money.

Something is wrong here....but the guys who could fix it....won't.

Friday, 20 June 2008

Our Present Society

Cape Cod Times reports that folks around Cape Cod, Mass....are having some serious issues. There are a significant number of folks....half men and women, and half men and men....who are pounding the sand (lusting in the physical way) alot. There are 20 miles of coastline....which if caught....you get a $150 citation. Well....this was no big issue back in the 1970s or 1980s....but in the past five years or so....this has become a serious problem.

Frankly....folks are now aggressive enough and simply don't care if they are seen. Last year in August...some group on a boat saw twenty to thirty guys....strictly guys....playing around near some lighthouse.

Last year, there were 132 citations handed out....which is triple what you'd expect in the 1980s apparently.

So what is going on here? Frankly....a growing number of folks don't care if they are seen....in the most extreme lusty fashion possible. Even if a whole church bus of Baptists pulled up...they'd continue their act and finish it off before leaving the beach area.

I don't think this is strictly a Cape Cod thing. I'm of the mind that folks are doing this in the south, the midwest, and the west coast. Last year....I was chatting with some guy who had been on vacation to the Florida Keys, and was sitting there fishing quietly by himself....when he noticed some boat about 500 ft away....and two guys in the back half of the boat having sex. It was pretty obvious to him, and they really didn't care if he saw them or not.

Its a relative sign of our period....sliding toward the Roman period...where anything was acceptable....and the public had to put up with this slide of society. I don't think we have much choice anymore.....its a guaranteed slide at this point.

The Hoax

A few days ago...I blogged on the Canada situation with six different feet washing up on the shore there....all from different bodies. Well....yesterday....the cops finally came around and admitted that the sixth one was actually a dog-paw wrapped in a tennis shoe. Basically, a hoax. Now, it would appear that they are fairly upset and starting to wonder about the other five and whether they might be planted.

Its a pretty cruel and sad hoax....and the guy doing this dog-paw episode....is an idiot in my mind. I'm curious about the others now....but figuring they must be real.

Thursday, 19 June 2008

Myanmar

Those kindly folks in Myanmar never got a single bit of help there a month ago. Not a bit. But its interesting now....there is no massive starvation episode going on. The locals apparently went back to old habits from decades ago....when other storms hit....and no help came....and they are surviving.

There is a lesson here. Because the 1980s....the US hardly ever came out to help folks out. In fact....most countries would just send food supplies and tents....and that was about it for the past fifty years.

This type of recovery....is what most folks are used to around the globe. They aren't sitting there and waiting for rescue by the US Army. It makes you wonder if New Orleans could have done the same thing....if you had simply told them that nothing was going to come....and no FEMA trailers were going to be dragged in....and no one was going to rebuild nothing that was nine feet under sea level. You have to wonder.

My Oldsmobile Story

I had the Master Sgt I work with....come over to my desk yesterday....asking me how to dispose of a car. So I gave her the 2-step process here on base. Then I asked why?

Apparently, she decided her 2000 Oldsmobile SUV was dead enough to dump. I scratched my head over this...barely 8 years old....shouldn't be dead to dump.

So she told the most woeful car story I ever heard. She bought this in 2001.....already one year old. The chief reason....really great car seats and lots of interior space. This made sense.....although looking back.....some research might have been nice to accomplish.

Six months later (18 months old then)...the transmission went out totally. The warranty paid for a new rebuilt engine. Months later...another problem....another warranty item. Six months later...another problem. All paid by the warranty.

Then the warranty ran out. The problems continued. And the cost started to add up.

She came over here in 2005...and since then...has paid thousands and thousands to repair the thing...including another rebuilt transmission.

Three weeks ago...the brakes totally went out while the husband was driving it. He avoided a collision and eased into a parking lot. She decided that was the end to the car. The seats are probably still in perfect condition....five-star seats.....but after that.....its a crappy vehicle.

She's taking it to the dump next week. Pretty sad story on Oldsmobile.

The Energy Futures Crowd

Yes, we can pretty much admit that half of the entire gas problem we have today.....is related to the energy futures market. Most all experts will admit that the number of "players" are double and much more aggressive than two years ago. The entry vehicle? Strangley enough....a congressional passed item referred to as the "Enron runaround". There were special congressmen and senators who helped to pass this a decade ago....enabling Enron to become the whopper it was and then to dissolve itself. The little bill item has been known for at least five years....strangely enough....the idiots won' take a step to correct it. Yep....and at the top of the list of losers who won't attack the item....our buddy.....Senator McCain.

So the US congress and senate won't touch this Enron runaround item. Nope....just can't do it.

So here is my fix. If the federal dimwits won't fix the problem....lets fix this Bama style.

This week, we've gotten a full view of city police attaching a "fuel surcharge" on traffic tickets. Last week, it was the airlines attaching more fees....like a fuel-fee on the bags and such. Various organizations are tossing on extra fees and charges now.

So you state senators and state rep's from Bama.....lets toss a juicy fee onto the fire. Set up a energy futures surcharge tax. Basically.....you bet heavily in the futures market and make more than $5k a year.....we want half of your profit. Its called the 50 percent energy surcharge tax. You pay us each spring as you pay your income taxes and admit the profit off your energy betting game.

The money we make? We hand the profits from this "tax" over to the state school folks to pay for energy costs....to include the university system second in line....and eventually the state orphans home. Yep....we take half your profit as a tax.

The best part about this...the minute we pass this.....Mississippi will wake up and pass the same bill. Then Louisiana, then Florida, then Kentucky, etc. Within four months.....every single state will have a tax over the profits of the futures crowd.

The idiots from Washington....the senators and the congressmen....who are all taking bribes.....let them weep as you sweep up the mess and clean up what they refused to do. In a matter of weeks....the entire futures market will collapse in the US.....as everyone dumps their money and moves onto something else. Oil will rocket down to $70 a barrel and we all sit around the porch wondering why senators in DC are that stupid.

Gitmo Fear

This week.....some congressman from Colorado woke up and grasped that if Gitmo closes (it is possible), and the detainees are brought to the US.....it is VERY possible that they will be brought to Colorado. He (a Republican, of course), is a bit upset about this mess.

No one on the Fed side has said a word. But if you look around central Colorado...they've got a fair number of federal prisons and state prisons.

This idiot says that it's going to be a serious issue when desperate killers are brought into Colorado and he'd prefer that they stay at Gitmo.

I paused here and started to think about those dudes at Gitmo.

They currently have a military-run place where food is appropriate to their native diet.....three meals of outstanding food per day. They get reading material in their native language. They have an extremely safe environment where no other prisoner bring harm to them. They sit in a cell with ample square footage. Life right now....might not be that bad.

If they are moved to Colorado....they probably get half the square footage....no special meals.....and at least 1,000 prisoners who'd like to kill them. If I were a Gitmo guy....I'd be thinking about the difference in location. I might want real legal privileges.....and a court case heard in front of a real American judge, with real rights....but in terms of where I live for this duration....I'd want Gitmo....hands down.

Al "The Mighty" & His Woes

So....lets get this all straight. Al "The Mighty" Gore.....decided last year he was in deep crap and wanted to make his home in Nashville more energy-efficient. So , Al "The Mighty" added solar panels, installed a geothermal system, replaced existing light bulbs with more efficient models, and overhauled the windows and ductwork. He had experts all along the way....to make damn sure this was a show-house later.

This month....the Tennessee Center for Policy Research went out and got the electrical power usage for Al's house....which apparently....they can do in Tenn....and discovered that Al's radically designed house.....now consumes.....10 percent more power than it did before.

From Bama.....this is practically impossible for me to imagine. The Center says that Al's home used up 213,210 kilowatt-hours (kWh) of electricity, which oddly enough is enough power to support around 232 average American households for a month. Al's current bill.....almost $16.5k a month.....is a whopper.

So being from Bama....I have made four observations.....which....if Al is reading this....this is free advice.

First....it just ain't possible for Al's home to be using 10 percent more power than before....therefore, I am left with the belief that the guys who installed all of this.....are working for Karl Rove.....and they've installed a massive power device beneath the swimming pool which burns up $8k worth a power a month to make Al look foolish. Karl would be the likely guy running this....since he is from Bama....and would pay off guys with Saudi slushy money.

Second....it is my firm belief here....as a second possibility....that Al accidentally turned the solar reflector switch to the right....and is currently pumping solar power back out via the devices....toward the sun. I saw this once on a Simpsons episode. I believe Al was simply an idiot and threw the switch the wrong way.

Third.....I think Al never read the instruction book that came with the crap he installed....thus has never used a single bit of its potential power to save energy. Al is that stupid....if you didn't know.

Fourth and final.....Al....if you are reading this and really are red-faced over this crap....then listen carefully. The best way to fix this problem....is to quietly buy the property next door, and run a PVC pipe under the turf one night....while Karl Rove is not looking.....and join your power consumption switch with the next door's house. You buy the house next door under an assumed name....like Homer T. Picklebody....and just use this fake home front....to hide your real usage of electricity. Let your home show 1kWh of power for the entire year. Make Karl weep. Make the Tennessee Center for Policy Research weep. Make Fox News weep. Make Rush weep.

You don't deserve all this harsh treatment Al. Just because you run the sauna twenty-four hours a day.....have a pizza oven running around the clock.....and have twenty-two plasma LCD panels in the game room....doesn't mean you have to suffer. Get real....cheat....be a real American and beat the system. Don't let them knock you.

Vancouver & Feet

Over the past two months....a couple of feet (individually, of course) have washed up along some islands that are half-way to Alaska. Just feet....nothing else. Almost all had tennis shoes on....and each comes from a different fella. And they are all accidentally detached from the body....NOT cut or such.

This week....the sixth one showed up.

Cops are a bit disturbed by the event....although they keep saying that it must be from an accident. But then they can't match anyone up.

So some bits of information on the world up there in western Canada. The islands off the coast? All are mary-j-u-wanna crop areas. In fact.....the cops look the other way in the vast majority of cases....either because they get paid off or they don't want to mess with these guys. There is a reputation amongst the mary-j-u-wanna guys up there....that this is their sacred territory and they really don't want any problems or new neighbors.

Then you add in the mafia of sorts....the Chinese guys and the real-old fashioned Canadian mafia....and you got yourself a fair amount of Jersey there near Vancouver.

My bet is that some folks have been whacked....taken out in a boat....with a chain attached to a leg and dumped off with a concrete block. The foot? Sooner or later....it comes loose and goes to the coastline. How many folks meet their end per year there? This would be a curious thing. No one talks much about missing folks in both the US and Canada....in terms of massive numbers. I'm guessing a good fifty folks find an end out there via the mary-j-u-wanna folks or the mafia. Just my humble guess.

Wednesday, 18 June 2008

The Perfect Woman


So some Japanese folks...who are real smart....have developed a female-like robot. She's only 15 inches tall and costs around $175, running off AAA batteries. You can see the implications here,its for lonely guys.

The thing here isn't so much this robot but the concept....which you know is coming soon.

There will be a point within ten years where a life-sized robot will exist....in the neighborhood of $100k, with a female appearance....and single guys will be buying her. You can expect her to chat and discuss things....of your choosing. You can expect her to clean house and sort bills. You can expect her to perform some kind of sexual maneuver....although I'm not even going to guess what.

These guys are going to buy her....even at $100k.

Why? Because they really can't handle women in flesh and blood. They can't stand domineering women. They can't stand the dating process. They can't stand arguments. They can't stand discussing intimate things with someone who doesn't feel the same as you. They can can't stand dancing or certain opera music or guessing your feelings tonight. So they want a robot woman....to fix the problem.

Will this be coming to America? The next thirty years....I would doubt it. The cost would still make Wanda Jean out of Shreveport still the best option possible for a wife. But as we cross over 2050....and they cut down the price of the Ricki Robot....and make her more human in nature....they will finally reach the American public and guys will be saving their money to have a fake companion.

It'll be a dismal day for woman across America.....having been defeated by the Japanese crowd. Its not the thing you really expected....having some robot gal who does what a guy enjoys....and ends up being his life-long companion....forever....forever...forever.

As for me getting a Ricki Robot gal? Pretty doubtful....if I had $100k....I'd rather spend on a pontoon boat....rather than a robot. Plus I'd be thinking she'd be upgraded to Vista sooner or later....and then she'd be all craped out and non-functional.

Allow Us to Screw You Over

So here is Atlanta city council member....C.T. Martin....who wants the city add a $10 to $15 fee for speeders....because of the gas crisis. No joke.

Amusingly enough....he was second in the state to ask for this. The council over in Holly Springs already approved a $12 fuel surcharge fee to each speeder that they catch.

If gas goes to $6 a gallon....I'm guessing they will up the extra fee to $25. Pretty nifty idea.....helps to screw people over completely....by using the gas crisis as a financial crisis for their little pavement area.

I could see this mentality spreading. Going to do a law suite against the town cops? Add on a $15,000 surcharge gas fee to the expenses you are seeking. Going to make a trip to Wal-Mart....expect a $2 surcharge gas fee when you enter the front door. Going over to the bar & grill to get blasted on cheap booze? Then Ed the bartender is setting a $2 gas surcharge on your bar-tab when you start drinking.

We could make millions and millions off this game. Everyone could get a gas surcharge. Show up at the house one night....the wife is in fancy black leather stuff....the kids are visiting grandma....and you've got some pretty lusty ideas....then the wife says a $15 gas surcharge as you start to discuss your intentions.

Going to the dentist? He stops you at the door and asks for a $8 gas surcharge. Going to the VFW bar in town....the guys have a $14 monthly gas surcharge that they tack onto your bill.

I could see this spreading.

Monday, 16 June 2008

Corn & Analysis

For those who haven't grasped it or you continue to sit there until the media tells you something....a moment of what is transpiring.

With the floods in Iowa....which they now believe cover and will ruin a minimum of 16 percent of the state corn crop....if you are sitting in Mississippi or Bama....with your 300 acres in corn.....you stand to see another ten to twenty percent rise in anticipated price for your corn in September. What was already perceived as the best priced crop in the history of the US.....just got better.

For those of you in Iowa....simply bad luck....real bad luck.

Sunday, 15 June 2008

2100: The End?


Earth 2100 is the ABC product (notice, I didn't even call it news or a documentary) that comes in September and forecasts the end of civilization for us all. Basically....you are dying from global warming, global cooling, climate change, carbon issues, lack of gas, lack of food, lack of water, and probably the end of Fox News.

I sat and pondered my end....if I were around there at the end of time....2100. I likely would be on the porch...sipping tea....eating some animal crackers....and listening to some bluegrass music.

The ABC crowd is probably the dimmest news group on the tube these days....after Katie Couric (sorry, I had to mention her yet again). This highly fictional piece....basically brings things down to the Jerry Springer level. The guys they interview for the show....will be jokes of some sort.

And the key thing for you to notice? Count the number of times they say the word "change". I'll bet in two hours....it's mentioned at least sixty times. Will this have to do with any political candidate? It'll be a curious thing.

Job Versus Mission

I work with an individual whose husband has been deployed to Afghanistan. Its a one-year deal, unlike what most of the Air Force guys get.

The job description is kinda simple for this guy. Take a bunch of Afghan guys at the Kabul military airport area, and make them mesh into a team who rarely require leadership or orders.

So far, as individuals have come and gone from this position over the past five years....nothing has improved. The Air Force even came to realize this and has high hopes in changing the mentality of the new guys arriving now.

So its a daily fight.....job versus mission. You'd really like to take some lightly educated Afghan guys and make them real workers, but it just doesn't work. There is the one translator....apparently some Afghan "rock" star (or so he claims) and the military provided some language orientation as they spent two months getting this guy ready for the job. But things just don't work like you'd think.

Your mission is always the defining purpose of your reason being there. You ought to be able to accomplish your mission. But in the light of reality....your job is simplified....especially by the Afghan mentality of a boss and a bunch of guys doing what the boss wants.

I watched a video clip of some German in Afghanistan and how he traveled around..interviewing folks and getting his driver through checkpoints. After a while....you could see that things work in a special way there. There isn't this mentality of team-effort or flexible operations. The boss runs things until he's dead, and then the next boss takes over.

The simpler task would be to bring in some somewhat intelligent Afghani....and lead this one guy through the training....making him the task lead....and then letting him boss the workers through the daily operation. Will the Air Force come to grasp this concept? I kinda doubt it. They all envision some American-run operation, with people doing different things....without being told or directed. Its not a blunder or stupid mistake....but we are doing what you'd expect out of a military force....envisioning a mission and trying to make something out of nothing.

So I'm guessing in eleven months...my associates husband will get on the plane....leave the "God-forsaken-place", take a shower, and return to reality. And I'm guessing he'll appreciate soft beds, clean toilets, and pancakes more than ever.

Simply a Flood Idea

What I often wondered about, year after year, as floods come and go, is why we don't build giant existing empty lakes to "dump" flood waters into?

It would be such a simple task to go along a river that we know floods yearly or every decade or so, then offer up a deal to a farmer that we want to build a giant lake on his property and if we must ever use it....we pay for his lost crop out of federal funds, with the maximum amount of profit for the guy.

We could buy hundreds of these lakes. We could buy the giant German-made water pumps....like the ones they used in New Orleans after Katrina....mounted on tractor trailer rigs....and pump overflowing rivers into these "temp" lakes.

Simply an idea that I keep envisioning and wondering why people won't take actions to lessen the impact. Floods are destined things....they will happen. Our only hope is to lessen the impact.

Legacy

Legacy is a difficult thing to measure. Every single president, CEO, military general, governor, minister, and even our own blessed selves....want a legacy.

A year after George Washington stepped down....there was likely no legacy to render. It was probably twenty years later that people began to form an opinion and measured the guy bigger than what they had when he was likely in office. The same can be said for Lincoln....who was hated by half the nation when elected and when he died. Teddy Roosevelt carried a legacy as big as the Grand Canyon in the decades after he died, but if you asked folks in 1910.....most would have simply said he was not a bad individual....but not that great either.

In the last couple of months....the chatter of George Bush and his legacy has popped up. Different groups want to measure the guy now. I think this is a pretty silly notion and we ought to wait at least ten years. My humble opinion is that we won't regard him in the top ten leaders....and we might have serious reservations about Iraq and Gitmo in the coming decade.

When people run around....discussing their own legacy problems....it become even more sillier. This is a mark of a hopeless individual who has to have something to measure himself. Its the wrong attitude. Its the public and the individuals friends who make the measurement. What we know of Socrates today....is simply a legacy that continued on after his death, when his friends and associates refused to let his name disappear. They quoted him and made into a cult-like figure. We are much the better for their wisdom in remembering their associate. This is the measurement and legacy of an individual.

Flag-Burning Topic

Shasta High School in Redding...which had the brilliant yet deflatable Conner Kennedy write a piece on the feeling of burning a flag and put a picture of him in the practice of such....was going to cancel the school newspaper. It was a done deal earlier in the week. As of yesterday....the principal got a discussion going with the new and incoming editor of the school newspaper. Amanda Cope walked in and said that she hoped to "revolutionize" the paper. She also admitted that she had sought writers and players on the paper who were "professional".

This little slant of conversation....might be a very big hit on Conner and probably demonstrates that several individuals outside of the Conner mindset probably didn't agree with his topics or his method of writing. So what Amanda gets....is twelve months to fix and revive the paper. The $13k to run the paper.....well....no one is quiet sure where this will come from. I'm guessing they will cut a teacher in order to run the paper, feed the poor kids in the school, and pay for coffee for all the teachers.

Amanda's woes? She'll be walking a difficult line. The mentality of destruction will be hanging over every issue of the paper. For an editor to "make" news....is one of the first violations of competent journalism. Usually people go out and find the news....then report it. In the past twenty years....this invention of news has become a national pastime. People enjoy watching news invented out of thin air. Its not even real news anymore....its like the Jerry Springer show and what can I do....to outdo the other guy. Conner fell into the pit with these guys and believed that by him....the journalist...burning a flag....it made news....and its the sad part about learning your craft....you have to make screw-ups to learn from.

The locals feeling.....based on whats said in the Redding newspapers and California....its kinda split. Some folks are disturbed that this ended being in the school newspaper and would like the leadership to view the final product before production. Some folks would like for the paper to fold.

I grew up in a small Alabama school where there was no school newspaper. Everyone put their effort into the class yearbook. I'm guessing today that the school does offer some kind of one-page paper which gets published once a month.

Its the principals call here.....the $13k comes from the big pot and he has to figure what individuals get fired and what programs get cut. California schools are in for a bumpy ride over the next five years. I don't see this as a one-time only cut....it'll return each year. The state is in serious trouble. The paper survived this year....but it could well be cut next year or the year after. This is the reality of the situation.

Secrets

Last week....on a bloody train in the British empire....a number of classified reports were left on a seat.....later to be turned over to the BBC. The belief then was that some individual of significance....a member of the government....was traveling and simply accidentally left the reports there. An investigation is currently underway over this episode. The interesting thing is that the individual who found the reports....immediately who found the reports....turned them over to the BBC......not the government.

Yesterday.....a second batch of reports were found on another train.

Both batches of reports had to do with Al Qaida, and its operations & banking habits.

One accident, I'm willing to believe in....two....no. This is a effort by an individual to get information out to the public that is classified. To be very blunt....an individual handling classified information doesn't take it home....doesn't take it on the train.....doesn't travel around in public with it in their lunchbag. There are strict rules about the care and travel habits of classified documents. So I don't believe this is a one-time only accident, with another one-time only accident. It was calculated and planned.

A third batch to come? Yep....I'd bet on one within seven days.

$15 Million Short?

As we kinda hinted at.......a month ago....the Democratic convention folks in Denver were not gaining the capital they were hoping for. This week.....they are admitting they are at least $15 million short and may have to hand this bill to the city. Folks around Denver are a bit upset and asking questions to the city council and the mayor. They really don't want to pay for some political hijinks. Adding to this business is the possibility that numerous fringe groups plan hostile activities throughout the week and the cops will be ten times as busy as they normally might be.

The DNC is canceling almost all of the meet & greet events and the parties.....with only one big function planned for the entire week. Even the media has started to notice the various cost measures that are being put into effect.

My guess is that by Friday of next week....they probably will milk the big-name contributors for another $8 million and the city eventually gets stuck with a $5 million bill. They can complain about this, but considering the amount of tax revenue they are pulling in for the city for that five day period.....I would not say a word. They will easily make that $5 million back.

What remains amusing in this entire episode....is that the Republicans haven't said a word about being short on cash. They apparently have every bill covered. Enough said.

Saturday, 14 June 2008

2100: Doom, Doom, Doom

Since reading of the coming Armageddon in ABC's 2100: End of Civilization.....I've been pondering these "end of days.

After blogging that bit yesterday on 2100....and its impact....I can readily see the vision now.

Yes....now with the evidence from the anticipated September viewing of 2100: End of Civilization....I can now chill out and relax. I feel better now. It has been haunting me for years....this continual year after year....no end....just the same old crap. But now....knowing that its official and ABC is going to help publicize it.....the end is near.

For those of you who bought the life-long warranty on the riding lawn mower that you paid $8k for.....yep....you can feel cheated now. That mower won't exist after 2100.

For those of you who had money set aside for nephews and grandkids....don't waste a minute. Take that money out and spend it on hell-raising, gambling, hookers, drugs, and wasted weekends in Mexico. Buy four hundred pounds of play-doh and drink whiskey like a champ.

That greasy stuff that isn't real grease that you've been using for fries and catfish....dump that stuff down your toilet and buy yourself 100 percent real fatty grease.

The pallet at Wal-mart of 500 pounds of charcoal....buy the pallet you idiot....and burn that stuff as quickly as possible. Eat beef....eat it like its going out of style.

Enjoy every last glorious day until 2100 and the end. Don't let this bit of pessimistic behavior hinder your lifestyle. When your buddy gets tickets to a New York Jets game, and you gotta drive 36 hours to get there from Mobile....DO IT. Drive every bit of the way in a luxery SUV and toss every aluminum can of beer out the window along the interstate. Don't worry about trash....we got less than 90 years of life left on this damn planet. Use or lose it.

Those idiot neighbors who have bothered you and the wife constantly....walk over and dig on their septic tank and fire fifty rounds of ammo into the bottom. To hell with them. Shoot their car tires out while standing there...for good measure.

The pontoon boat that Uncle Jeff denied you last summer....go down and sink the damn thing at the dock. Don't worry about retribution....we got 90 years of life to go, and then the big damn end.

ABC was right.....don't lie....don't fake the truth.....just let us have it. We need to live like giants and enjoy what little remains in our miserable lives. The high school reunion where you were going to skip next year? Don't skip it....dump that husband of yours and hire some NY City male model to escort you.

The Baptist minister who kept talking about your future standing in the church and moving up as a possible deacon one day....forget it....go to Vegas, Memphis, and New Orleans. Get a real life and lose all the reputation that you've wasted time earning.

ABC is absolutely right....we needed this show of theirs in September....to set our compass on the right direction. And when they sit there....quietly suggesting "change"....don't even fake yourself out....its the right kind of "change" that needs to be done. Its not Obama that you need....it's giving up on life and living for the moment and knowing this new improved "change" will make the end so much better.

I'm whacked out on "change" now. I've sipped three or four Mountain Dews, and had half-a-box of cheese crackers....and damn....I feel good. So when the September show of 2100: End of Civilization comes on....get the right message. Feel the "change", and then enjoy. Life never felt better.

I'll probably wake up in the morning with a headache from the Dew....but damn....it was a good caffeine attack.

Oh, and rumor has it that ABC has some plan for a special two-hour news piece...."The Wonderful World of Technology in 2100". It'll be a damn fine show....I'm sure. Other rumors include a two-hour news piece called...."America: Holy Hell in 2100", and "2100: Our Land on Mars" and "Freaky Hollywood Bimbos in 2100". Its all probably one guy from Red Bay, Bama writing this stuff for them.

World of Warcraft: Bama Style

So this is what we know.....this dude.....Morgan Jones.....27 years old.....had to appear in Franklin County court this week (in Bama, near by hometown).....on charges relating to kidnapping and raping a teen girl. The local guys would like to attach federal charges and still chatting about this possibility.

So here is the jest of Morgan....he's a gamer....a World of Warcraft gamer (the folks I really dislike). He apparently got into various chats and discussions with this girl up in Idaho, who is also a WOW player....and happens to be 14. She lives in the town of Boise.

Morgan got along so well with her....and things got so heated....that he just plain put down the WOW game for two whole days....and drove to Boise to pick up his associate and drive her back to the land of Bama. Its hard to say what was on his mind, except his true love was into WOW....and its hard to find a real woman (not a imaginary woman), who would be into WOW and him. Her momma reported her missing around 28 May and Morgan was discovered with his girlfriend five days later....at a campground in Bama. Some kinda tip occurred.....probably some Baptist tip....that led local county deputies to the Palouse Falls State Park. Morgan and his lady friend (all of 14 years old), were apparently having a pretty lusty time in a tent they'd pitched there at the park.

Apparently....the charges are pretty much all felony related and he might be spending more than five or six years in a state prison. The state guys are hoping for federal charges....thus invoking a federal prison.

Right now....Morgan sits in a Franklin county fail....on $50k bail. I'm thinking none of his relatives will be stupid enough to offer up money. As for denials....well....actually both the girl and Morgan admitted to having alot of lust....an awful lot of lust....on numerous occasions, between 29 May and 2 June.

Apparently, the girl has returned to safe Boise with her mother....and I'm guessing that Mom has outlawed World of Warcraft for the time being. As for how long this girl stays there....I'm betting twelve months....and she will be seeking out other older guys....and leaving again.

Her true love? Morgan? Well....he might want to get good with the other prisoners and get used to a five-year sentence. I kinda doubt he will be playing World of Warcraft anymore....for a long, long time.

Bama Meeting "Bama"

This week....some fine fellas from the Alabama National Guard are boarding a passenger plane and heading off to Romania. This is apparently part of some federal project, where states and national guards are paired up with "new friends" of America, who are a bit on the poor side. This is called the State Partnership Program. Apparently, some congressmen and senators put funding in, and our guys get a fine week visiting Romania. As for discussion? Well....the best we can offer is the comment "issues, programs and guidance".

There are several things to ponder here. First....its hard to imagine a fella from Bama....offering up advice on "issues, programs and guidance", unless we were talking about catfish ponds, septic tanks, Baptist Revivals, and corruption amongst local police. We might know a bit on boozing it up quietly and not getting caught. We might even know some stuff about hunting and fishing....which we'd proudly share for a beer or two.

The boys are likely staying at a semi-fancy hotel in Romania...probably in Bucharest. You'd have to stay at a 4-star place. For those who've never been there....this star business matters greatly. With a one-star....you'd typically get a GI bunk bed, a picture painted in 1968 by some blind guy, and a window that doesn't open or close. The cleaning lady for the one-star is likely to smile at you as you enter....with her one tooth....and hint to you that she is readily available any time....any day....anywhere. At the two-star....you get a queen sized bed with sheets which haven't been changed since 2003, a wardrobe to put your suit in but the doors are broke, and a toilet that flushes 24 hours a day, seven days a week....continually. The three-star? It includes something they call coffee (but taste like soap) free in the morning, a fresh pillow each day that smells like goat chesse, a friendly guy next door who a 70-year old hooker visiting each night, and some free soap that actually takes your chest hair off when applied literally. This is why you have to ask for the four-star place....where the cleaning lady has eight teeth and smiles at you with her glass eye looking at the other direction, the bed is ok except for the spring which sticks into your butt, and the fan on the ceiling is set to maximum turbo and can't be turned off.

The neat thing about this type meeting....if you had to pick any state which is kinda like Romania....its Bama...hands down. Folks in Romania are pretty simple and not demanding. They can get by with a beer and some pork. They don't care what they drive in....as long as it runs. They install septic tanks the same way as us. They even have corrupt local cops.....who hand out bogus traffic tickets....just like us.

I'm thinking this'll be one heck of a week in Romania for these Bama folks. It might even be the first trip outside of the US for some of these Guard guys. They will go back home, and tell Wanda Jean that Romania is pure heaven for a Bama fella to visit....and start discussing a summer vacation next year....with the family to Romania. I'm just hoping that the boys brought along a Baptist minister to keep after them to stay cleansed and of pure spirit....and not chase any hot lusty Romanian women.

A Mighty Step For Bama

This week, a state senator from Bama, Hank Erwin of Montevallo, put in a bill to adopt the South Carolina-type car tag...."I Believe", as a Bama car tag (currently, we are forunate enough to have only slogans on our tags...."Stars Fell on Bama" and "God Bless America".

This new tag slogan...."I Believe"....would represent a proclaimation on God, faith, and the family....as Hank explains it.

There are two things that I observe here. First....a whole bunch of pressure is going to be put on Baptist members to switch their tags over and get a "I Believe" tag. I'm reckoning that the deacons will be out in force as folks park their cars in the lot.....checking who has and who doesn't. The minister will jump on those folks to adopt the new tag and get with the program. It'll be a sign of faith, if you have a "I Believe" tag....and if you don't....you have to be in league with Satan or Ozzie Ozborn.

Second....for those of my devious mind.....we could easily put a bumper sticker of our own making next to the tag saying "....in Aliens", ".....in Bigfoot", ".....in lusty women", "....in the Braves", "....in Budweiser", and ".....in perfect septic tanks". Yep, across Bama....I'd have my shops set up and making your personalized "I Believe" saying and you affix it to the car bumper right next to the tag. I'd make $200k the first year and retire by the third year to Orange Beach.

I say more power to Hank Irwin....although we must admit....those South Carolina folks had the idea first, and we are merely second on making this a possibility.

Shopping Lists, Not Blueprints

It is a strange expression...."shopping lists, not blueprints".

Basically, you have the WWF....not the old World Wrestling Federation...but the greenhouse gases & global warming & climate change & global cooling crowd....saying this.

They want to set new measures up....to replace the climate targets which expire in four years. Course, things aren't working too well in Germany as nations meet and discuss this entire matter. Folks are likely sitting around and collecting on some great per diem, lounging at 5:30 at the 5-star hotel in Bonn, and eating some fine pork cutlets.....then having a great weekend in Amsterdam and smoking plenty of fine....mary-j-u-wanna, then coming back to Bonn on Monday to waste more time. I often wonder why I can't get a job like that.

Things were supposed to be worked out during this two week period, in order to have a fine outstanding week-long meeting in Denmark at the end of next year. I'm guessing another two-week trip will be required by December of this year...maybe in Greece or southern Italy....at another fine 5-star hotel.

Kathrin Gutmann (the climate policy coordinator for the WWF) even described this meeting as "feeble". She said: "The science tells us that governments need to think at a much larger scale of action than ever before to get climate change under control".

I paused when I read the comment "under control". The mighty earth? Under control? Surely they jest. For hundreds of millions of years....there has been a spin and a wobble....with just about everything you could want except climate control. To expect the impossible, is a wonderful goal....and its certainly enough for me to meet at a 5-star hotel for two weeks to discuss imaginary solutions to a imaginary situation in a imaginary world.

Friday, 13 June 2008

Dead, Hoax Dead, Fake Dead, etc

Out in California on Monday....a couple of cops appeared at various schools and announced that classmates had died over the weekend.....because of drinking and driving. The thing is.....this was a organized attempt by the school to make an impression on students about the effects of drinking and driving. No one had died. But before this came out....hours later at each school.....everyone had broken down and was weeping. School effectively stopped and students went into a grief stage.....never even knowing who had died.

The school and the cops think this is a great way to make a point on students.

I'm sitting here.....scratching my head.....wondering why California folks think this way.

If I were a student there....I'd start showing up on Monday and announcing my momma died over the weekend.....telling this story for three hours before I said it was a hoax. Then I'd come in next Monday.....telling how the neighbor shoot four Ninja dudes in his garage.......before I announced this was a hoax. Then the next Monday, I'd announce that aliens had landed in my driveway and taken Daddy off to Mars.

I'm thinking California is a pretty lousy state to live in....and the cops must not be that busy to earn that $180k income that they take in. I'm thinking a bunch of idiot teachers run the schools and they can't teach by any other method. I'm thinking things there just aren't right. Then it occurs to me that this is the state that requires Al Gore's "Got Global Warming" video to be truth. So its a neat plus to teach hoax stuff. To bad they don't chat about Bigfoot.

America, Under Attack


There, this week, America came under attack. Whilst you slept, while Britney was sipping fruit juices, while Katie Couric was begging you to watch CBS.....the Belgium wussies came to steal Anheuser-Busch. With $46 billion in hand, InBev (a Belgium & Brazilian operation) are attempting to take over the Americas King of Beers.

Its a sad day....when the dollar is so cheap...and these Belgium wussies can threaten a mighty beer-drinking nation like ours.

What will happen when the final end comes? I'm thinking the Belgium crowd will come and add a secret wussie ingredient or two to the malt and beverage mix...to make American beer drinkers more like Belgium men.....subservient to women. They will introduce a grapefruit-mix beer....like the Germans have today. They will introduce a cola-beer mix. They will introduce a vitamin-enriched beer mix.

America will began to stumble and slur their word differently. They will wear Birkenstock shoes as they haul hay or do roofing work. They will start to wear shorts and long socks. American women will start to order small glasses of beer....and sip it with a lemon on the side. Honky-tonk bars will turn into sipping wussie bars where fake cowboy pictures will appear and Dustin Hoffman will be used in "king of the beer" ads. We'll weep when two guy hold hands in a beer commercial and they talk of going out for a beer.

I'm holding out.....hoping that Belgium never finishes this purchase. I'm hoping that Bill Gates will see a wiser choice in combining Microsoft and Anheuser-Busch. Basically, I'm praying for a miracle. So as you go to bed tonight....open a beer and gulp it down....and say a prayer for Anheuser-Busch. Maybe God will hear enough of us.

Thursday, 12 June 2008

The Oklahoma Killings

Most of you have viewed the news over the past day or two of the two young girls killed there in the rural parts of Oklahoma. I've read through the basic reports and looked at what little they offer....from the rural community, the dirt road, and the two guns involved.

The guilty party? I'd be looking for two local guys who are meth users. They are very local and likely knew both girls. They are people in this community who have used meth enough that they don't have any real feeling for those who live or those who die. Its not a visitor or out-0f-state guy. Its not one individual. The girls walked up upon these two guys standing there....likely do a bit of meth....and the surprised guys had their weapons with them....and killed the two witnesses with no clear thinking. In this community of 1,000 people....start check for meth use and come down to the guys who have no alibi. I'm pretty sure this will be simple.

What Will Come

In China, after the earthquake....alot of parents are asking why school building collapsed so easily. They'd like an answer to how their son or daughter died. The cops and authorities played along for several weeks....but this week....they've finally started cordoning off the affected areas and government facilities. Parents aren't allowed close, and neither is the media. The cops and authorities are used to standard behavior....not what they are seeing now.

So what will happen?

If I were a Chinese murder detective....I'd prepare myself for a period of twelve to twenty-four months....where a number of construction folks....from foremen to architects will be found dead in their home. Probably a sledge hammer or knife....but it'll be fairly simple how the dude died. City officials? Yep, same way. The building inspectors? Same way. The mayor? Same way. After about forty of these deaths....the cops will piece together that a certain group are being killed off, and figure that citizens are getting even. Will the authorities stop the parents from killing those responsible? Here, I'm thinking Chinese logic will kick in....and kinda let the parents accomplish what the government really doesn't want to do.

Tuesday, 10 June 2008

Busy Beavers


As the last supply delivery was made to the South Pole station run by the Americans....it brought one key pallet....with 16,488 condoms. As the chief of supply had to explain once the cat got out of the bag....even though they are entering the winter period this week, and only a hundred folks will be there....this is the entire yearly delivery....so when summer comes in six months....1,100 folks will be there and they will be having hot lusty sex hour by hour. Well.....maybe day by day.

I've often wondered what the heck the folks do in the bunker.....after they finish their eight-hour shift....and now, we know. Obviously....if you figure 16,488, divided by the 100 winter folks and the 1,100 summer folks....then you figure a five guy to one gal average....then you count out the PhD folks who don't ever think about sex....then you count out the hardcore Baptists.....you come to an average of one guy using six per day (my estimate). I'm thinking these guys are pretty hot-blooded....and don't need any kind of stimulation. Forget about Hooters, topless joints, X-rated videos and Britney Spears.....South Pole sex must be awful dang good.

Saturday, 7 June 2008

The Tower

In my hometown of Florence, Bama....there is the Florence Renaissance Tower....an odd thing that corruption helped to build...to attract more corruption to Northwest Bama.....to feed corrupt political figures.....corrupt bankers....corrupt golfers....corrupt farmers....and yes....even corrupt fisherman. The interesting thing is that there are only thirty or forty towers like this in the US....restaurants at the top....revolving.

To be honest....I ain't never been to the top. They built it fifteen years after I left....and other than just driving by it....and gazing at it....I haven't eaten any vittles at the top.

Most of the locals think that it was a total waste of money......and ninety percent of them have never been up to the top. To be kinda honest....to just sip a coke...it'll cost $3....and that just ain't worth a sip at the top. I can just as well sip a coke over at the gas station for 99 cents.

The thing is....it overlooks the Tennessee River....and if you are there along sundown...its a mighty fine view of the river.

And for you corrupt political hacks who offended by my blog commentary....please feel free to add your corrupt commentary after mine. I'm alway open to corruption and its poetry.

Bama-World

It was a wonderful Thursday night in Bama....for Richard Scott Odell. In fact....things went along so well...that he continued partying till Friday morning, until some guy in a car drove by Richard who was out in the middle of Bama highway 79...standing there....naked. The guy in the car though this was odd...not normally seeing a guy in the early morning hours in the middle of the road....naked.

The Jefferson county cops came by.....and tried to talk Richard into just laying on the pavement, but he thought that was just not necessary. So the cops stunned him...once, twice, three times....and in fact....four times total....before he got settled.

The best we can say...the cops say he was dang intoxicated....and stated to them that he was Jesus Christ and President Bush....and that he had the power to break free of the cuffs.

Sgt Randy Christan later said...."It isn't everyday that our deputies run into a naked man standing in the middle of the highway."

So far, the charges are rather simple...resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. I'm thinking 30 days in the county jail...at the very most. Although....impersonating the president of the United States...as we've leaned from this experience....is not a crime. So if you ever had a desire.....or just a wild idea....go for it....the cops can't say a word if you claim to be President Bush. You can even claim to be a space alien...and they can't charge with a single crime. Just don't stand in the middle of the road in the midst of Bama...naked....in the early morning hours....thats going to get you some jailtime.

Nuke Missile Badge Episode


It is an amusing bit of history that occurred within the Air Force this week. As Secretary of Defense Gates was firing the four-star general in charge of the Air Force....the 4-star...General Mosely....had signed off on a historical document earlier in the week....which rightly fits into the entire mess of his firing.

Somewhere in the midst of 2005....after dissolving SAC....and dumping the bomber and missile crowd into the Space Command....the leadership of Space Command decided that the old SAC Missile Badge that all of the Nuke maintainers had worn for years and years....was to be replaced by the "Space Wings" badge. There was a huge amount of fury by the nuclear crowd. They had earned their badge and proudly worn it for 30-odd years.

So in the months after that....some graphic artist within the nuclear crowd there in the Air Force....took their old badge....and inserted graphic design, and a little sarcasm (Not even the Lord can take my missile badge away). This graphic was proudly displayed in non-obvious places and every single nuclear technician considered part of their glory. It made a very big point.

So this week....to fix one of a thousand things wrong in the nuclear mission of the Air Force.....amongst what was written up after the famous missing nukes episode.....and not even allowed to be the space command commander's decision.....General Mosely decided to give the Nuclear Missile badge back to the boys. He signed the paperwork this week, and it will be authorized to wear again. Me? I'd prefer the badge above....to make a very big point on the "change-the-change-to-the-change crowd". Its an amusing end to General Mosely...having to admit a number of things that they've done stupidly for the past eighteen years.

What New Technology?

I wanted to introduce you to the new hell for environmentalists. Its a brand new technology. These guys say that they can capture the carbon emissions from your car. Yep....actually capture those evil C02 emissions. Origo Industries says that they can capture the CO2 from your vehicle’s engine and then allow you to turn these emissions into fuel at your own house to re-power your car. And here is the kicker....the release of this C02 stuff at the house....could also be pumped back and used to power the house too. And how? The gadget uses this idea where CO2 is regenerated through algae in a home unit, allowing the user to produce bio-oil (up to 500 gallons a year...more or less).

Of course....I always bring good news/bad news. It would take valuable C02 and create a C02 shortage. Yes, the evil that an environmentalist would weep about. We’d have to create carbon taxes on these devices...and make these people pay for their crimes against the Earth. Lack of C02, would bring on global cooling, global warming, climate change, and maybe even another Rambo movie. We might starve or overfeed our society. Take your pick...in any fashion...its a bad thing.

It doesn’t take an idiot to see through the Green vision of life...and grasp that the end result has nothing to do with a better earth...just a more distributed system of wealth. It’s Robin Hood a thousand times over.

Friday, 6 June 2008

Today in the Air Force

So the secretary of the Air Force and the 4-star general over the entire Air Force…..resigned today. Its rare you would have an event like this. The downfall of two giants within the military. Each with a different cause for resignation.

The end for the Secretary of the Air Force…..Michael Wynne…came after the episode of the nuke missile disappearance last year. After the entire report came out….it became apparent that leadership throughout the entire Air Force had drifted in a very negative direction….perhaps over a ten-year period. Rather than view the full situation….more problems mounted with the episode of the nuclear fuses which apparently got shipped to Taiwan by accident. Again….a full investigation occurred with very negative trends obvious. To clean up this mess….its going to be more than what folks expect. So an entire mentality is going to be brought on board…..to completely change the focus within the Air Force. No names yet….but I would imagine a former Strategic Air Command “giant” being brought out of retirement and placed in the position to hold people accountable. You’ll notice his trend to stop reorganizations and halt the change-the-change-to-the-change-to-the-change mentality.

As for General Mosely? His end comes for a slightly different reason. Somewhere around 2003….he became good buddies with a guy out of Vegas who came in to fix up a “grand show” for the Thunderbirds demonstration team. The Air Force wanted to max out the media potential of its show….and this one vendor had the ideas to make this happen. Sadly….we have rules. There has to be a competition. And in this competition at Nellis AFB…..it was rigged so that the vendor won….even though the number two guy….was less in cost. The contracting squadron there cried “foul”, but it didn’t matter.

Then a second contract came up, and a third. A total of seven contracts….of an illegal nature were the final result….in the cost area of $50 million. General Mosely was involved in different aspects of each deal. So in the end….Secretary of Defense Gates….had no choice….he had to terminate a 4-star for financial incompetence. When everyone in your chain is trying to help you avoid jail….you ought to listen to their wisdom….or be prepared for jail.

My guess is that the Air Force will look for a non-pilot….maybe some three star in the logistics field or the communications field….and bring them up to be the chief of the Air Force….making a strong message to the pilot authority in the Air Force that something is really wrong with this behavior. We might even see a bomber pilot come out of nowhere...who has two stars today and has four stars tomorrow.

As for the secretary of the Air Force position....I'm betting on a management guy.....who has discipline in his character. We will likely hear some comment within two weeks as the Secretary of Defense searches for the two replacements.

Thursday, 5 June 2008

My Day

My day was spread from one extreme spectrum to the other extreme spectrum.

I stood there today and chatted with another old-time NCO....who is dismayed over the Air Force today. Airman don't clean their project areas up after they finish a job.....they never do the job right on the first attempt....they question the necessity of projects....they don't think of the big team....and they don't want to work as a team.

These are traits of a Air Force gone bad.

As my associate pointed out....there was a time in the mid-80s, when a business came to the Air Force to see how to run things. Somewhere around 1992....came Total Quality Management, where the Air Force decided that the civilian world was doing things better and we ought to visit their sites to learn their practices. We had simple regulations that had been in effect since 1963....barely two pages long....and by the mid-90s....those were long gone. We kept reinventing ourselves over and over.....thinking we could actually come to a "dream design", but instead.....its a successful reorganization that merely lays out the frame for the next successful reorganization. You need billets to fill your shop....you reorg and steal from another organization. You need more office space.....you reorg and steal office space from another group.

Its a pitiful group to watch. So for ten minutes today.....I breathed the flame from the dragon....listening to all the right words and fierily topics.....knowing just how right the guy was. I can't fix nothing....I can just sit, observe, and comment.

So for the other side of the spectrum?

An associate of mine.....ten years in the Air Force.....has returned back from Baghdad after 120 days there. He was in a safe job where he simply did comm work and made sure video-teleconferencing equipment worked, on-time. Six days on.....twelve hours a day and sixteen hours on some days. One day off a week.

Naturally.....I asked him what he did on the day off. He stood there....in our little vault....with fluorescent lighting above his head....and just a bit of shadow to some degree.....pausing for five seconds.

It was a long pause. It was a pause that you knew he had to tell you something important but he didn't want sympathy from you.

After he ate breakfast on the off-day.....he walked over to the med-groups helipad area and served as extra manpower....between the pad and the emergency area where the ambulance might pull up or the helicopter would land. They had only a couple of folks to help unload wounded guys.....and they appreciated every bit of help they get. So he spent his off-day....taking the wounded guys off the chopper.

This isn't a job that most of us would like or enjoy. In fact....most of us would shy away from this and gladly dig a toilet pit or fill sandbags instead. There is a sad necessity for extra help.....to gracefully pick up a wounded guy and help tote him over to the surgery point. Someone has to lift the stretcher off the chopper and bear in mind the pain or suffering of the guy on that stretcher. You have to look the guy in the eye and reassure him of your best effort. You learn to lie. You learn to sooth a person in great pain. You learn to look not at a bad wound and make yourself sick. You learn to avoid bouncing a guy in great pain as you carry his stretcher.

You get paid nothing extra for this volunteer situation. You ought to be in your cot sleeping or reading a book or watching another hour of "Lost". You ought to write home or convey an email to the family about how well you are getting fed. You ought to be getting a haircut. You ought to be doing alot of things.....but for some reason.....you're at the pad.....waiting.

I listened to the few comments he shared. You could tell a shadow of pain was in his mind. He isn't totally unaffected over his "other" work....the stuff he wasn't sent there to do. He did this one-day a week....just to pass time and to make something out of nothing. He did the right thing. I can't tell him that. I can't calm his soul. I can't pat him on the back. I can't write his momma or wife or daughter to tell them what a true individual he really is. There is little I can do but sit and listen to the story.

For every hundred good stories a guy can tell from his time in Iraq....there is always the story that he really can't tell. It isn't about pride or justice or accomplishment. Its about a deep emotion....driving you to do stuff that most folks standing around America tonight....would prefer not to do. Its about military people who work seven days a week.....for the whole time they are deployed....and just accept it as "normal". Its a life that you can't dream up at 18 or wish upon anyone. Its about looking a guy in the eye and telling him "you'll be alright", when you know he probably won't be. Its about a guy whose girlfriend just dumped him and wrote the "Dear John" letter before he was supposed to go on duty tonight. Its about the mortar round that landed 284 steps from your tent.....you know because you walked it thirty times to consider just how close you came to death that evening. Its about taking chances....whether you are alive or dead tomorrow...and getting to a point where you don't think about such things.

Life isn't fair. But you really wouldn't want it that way. Deep down....you'd like to go to the far extreme....and test yourself.....to know just how far you can go. My associate.....appears to have gone a pretty far distance.....and he wouldn't want it any other way.

It was a long day....and I probably put more writing effort into this blog than the past one thousand....because it had to be written right. The thing is.....I could write a piece like this each day....and likely put my mind into a deep shadow....writing myself into a Nobel prize for literature while soft salty tears dripped. We pay such a price for telling a story.

The Eternal Wait

So I waited....and waited, and waited.

I'm a patient guy. I can sit and ponder till the cows come home. And finally this week, it happened.

For nationalities, as much as I hate Germans....Icelandic folks are just one step above Germans in my book. They really like to tell you how you are wrong. They have a absolute love/absolute hatred of Americans. When we announced the Air Force was pulling out of Iceland, they stood in shock, not thinking all of the criticism of the war would ever come back to harm them.....and then we left.

I've waited patiently to tell off the Icelandic dimwits....and today....I got my story.

Yesterday....for the first time in twenty years....a polar bear made it to Iceland. Yep....the last one was killed over twenty years ago and that was kinda the end of polar bears on the little island. So here is this polar bear who probably rode a iceberg as far as he could and probably swam a good twenty or thirty miles.....to make it to Iceland.

Apparently....the fools felt it to be a total threat and rather than wait out the one and only one dart gun in the damn country to arrive.....they shot the polar bear.

So here is the thing. George Bush....mighty George.....came out two weeks ago and announced the terrible threat facing the polar bear and how they could decrease in numbers....maybe....well....they could....if global warming ever comes. So they put the damn bear on the endangered species list. America is supposed to do everything possible to save the bear now....even if we can't drill for oil....even if we have to kill 50,000 grizzleys....the polar bear must be saved.

So here is this one stupid polar bear....that sticks out this ride on the iceberg....swams over to Iceland....and proceeds to get shot by the locals. They even proudly stood around as the picture was taken. So here for a brief moment....George Bush is the hero, and the idiot Icelandic folks are the villain. It really says alot for the charming Icelandic folks and how they have so much care for the world's polar bears. So the next time some idiot Icelandic fool stands up, and wants to blast the US for some carbon crime....I'd like to bring this picture up and mention how sorry we were over the damn fools shooting bear.

There....got that off my chest.....and I feel better now.