Sunday, 14 December 2008

Boycott Bama? Go For It

Somewhere, out there in the mighty woods of Bama.....there is a threat.

This fellow...Joe (its always a Joe, you know) has started up this web site.....Boycott Alabama. Apparently Joe and his GM friends feel that we in Bama have stood up against the auto industry, GM, and the union guys (UAW).

To be honest and completely true here.....both senators from Bama said "no" when the auto bailout deal came up. Neither think the package saved anyone and simply tossed money into a pit.....and we'd be back at the pit in six months for another fifteen billion.

So what Joe wants....is for folks to simply stop going into Bama.....stop buying Bama products.....stop staying at Bama hotels.....stop tourist arrangements in Bama.....stop screwing Bama women.....stop chatting or dating Bama trailer trash women.....stop buying Bama mary-j-u-wanna (we are the number one crop producer in America, don't you know), and stop watching our Alabama football team kicking ass all over America.

I read the entire web page, and paused a long time. I'm not used to someone trying to boycott Bama. I was willing to give them a free pass....and then, I decided I just couldn't do that. So I wrote Joe a email letter.

Dear Joe

I read through your material....and after a long pause....I've decided enough is enough....I'm going to boycott GM.

It was a hard decision to make. Once upon a time....before the 1980s....GM made real cars and was a decent manufacturer. But over the past thirty years....GM vehicles have become overpriced and barely worth the price that they want you to pay. The benefits package (note: I didn't say the pay scale)....is beyond the norm for any car producer. It simply adds onto the cost of every single vehicle.

And here....rather than look at the bloated nature of GM.....the incompetent management....the cost of making every single vehicle.....and the arrogance of the UAW.....you decide to pick on Alabama?

Brilliant? Nope....less than brilliant. Alot less.

So in the broad scheme of things.....I think this is a boycott on a 6-cylinder engine....with barely three cylinders running. The brakes are barely functional.....the windows are stuck in a permanent rolled-down position.....the key works only after jabbing it in forty times....the trunk lock is non-functional and has been for a dozen years.....and if lucky, you might get fifteen miles per gallon. So drive on with this boycott....as far as you can....until your GM car halts by the side of the road.

Anticipate this....if you are halted on the side of the road in Bama....we'll naturally pick you up and carry over to the gas station. If things don't work out....we'll invite you to the front porch and share a ice-tea with you. We'll talk over septic tanks, brake pads, NASCAR, and college football. We won't treat you in any ill fashion because of your lousy boycott....we'll even overlook your politics (ifing you were Republican).....and just act awful nice toward you. You might be shocked at how friendly we folks are....even if boycotted....but then, that why we are what we are.

And will the boycott ever achieve anything? No.....don't expect much of anything....except a few laughs on Monday morning when Bama folks ask what you boycotted....and the response is you don't have an idea of what we produce or sell.

Anyway, two cents of thought from a Bama-ite. I used to buy American-made cars....but I quit.....long ago....and I just don't see myself going back.

That was it. I felt good hitting the "deliver" button. The mere idea that some fool thinks he can threaten Bama.....just won't work with me. I browsed around today looking for commentary, and this guy kinda irked a couple hundred Bama folks so far, and I'm thinking by Monday night.....there'll half the state pretty upset about this threat.

You want a boycott....got for it. We can forget about GM real easy. It won't take much effort to forget about an incompetent company.

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