Saturday, 15 March 2008

War and Peace: The Global Warming Version

Apparently...they held the Globe 2008 conference out in Vancouver, Canada last week. I didn't really want to attend....wasn't invited....and I couldn't fit on my schedule between watching Lost and previous episodes of Bonanza. For those of you who aren't into global warming.....the Globe conference is a special place where only global warmers attend. That might explain why I didn't get my invitation.

The British High Commissioner to Canada.....Sir Anthony Carey....did attend.

Anthony...well....Tony....did a bit of speaking...as most upper elite Brits do. He was a major dude for making the conference appear on most newspapers.

Tony came up and boldly said....that global warming will trigger tension, bloodshed, and wars....not necessarily in that order. For Tony....global warming is now a security issue. We may have terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible wars....because of global warming.

Being from Ripley....I sat and paused on this revelation. It ain't like Lost was canceled finally or if Joe Torre was fired from the Dodgers or Cheney shooting himself in the foot by accident....but it was a revelation of sorts.

So I sat and pondered this revelation.....over and over and over and over.....till I was dizzy and needed a glass of Pepsi to settle my mind.

Over the past 100 years.....there have been around 250-odd wars (check the Wiki if you doubt me). There are some folks in El Salvador who even fought the mighty Hondurans....over the soccer war (1969 to 1980)....which was triggered by a episode on the soccer field in El Salvador. Two hundred and fifty-odd wars....of which none were caused by global warming.

So what Tony suggests is very difficult to analyze and put a value upon. I'm from Bama and probably not a real scientist of sort or even a PhD dude.....but if we were able to start 250 wars over various things (including soccer or imaginary weapons of mass destruction)....well....yeah....its possible to fight a war over global wrming....but then would it really matter?

Back in the glory days......when Greece was actually a real country...there was this real hot love affair that some dude from Troy stole some other guys wife. Not like trailer-park love....this ended up with a bunch of guys getting on boats and sailing off to Troy to take back Menelaus's wife. This wouldn't have been much of a fight....had it not been for that Brad Pitt's character.....Achilles.

Troy was a fortified place where it was going to be a long-ass war and should have been a losing situation for these guys rushing up to retake Menelaus's hottie wife back. Thank God....Achilles was there and whooped butt.....and actually died toward the end....in a messy little episode.

The thing is....this whole war was fought over a trailer-park hottie.....not global warming. Guys were stupid enough to fight....to help some slob....retake his trailer-park hottie. Personally....after thinking about this a long time....sipping Pepsi to settle my nerves.....I'd rather start a war over trailer-park hotties or soccer....than some stupid global warming stuff. Usually.....your name goes down into history books over stuff like this. I'm pretty certain.....ifing Achilles was involved in some kind of global warming war....he'd be forgotten or put into a class like Dr. Phil. And in that case....it just ain't worth fighting.

So....a bit of world analysis....from the front porch of Ripley.

Just a Moment


There are these subtle differences between America and Europe. You run across them daily....think about it a minute....and then just drift on.

Years ago....I went to Paris for a weekend....and discovered a city park that made you almost lose your view of life and time. It was a park of grand proportion and great trees that hung over the gravel trail that encompassed the park.

There weren't ballfields or giant statues around. You might see a individual walking a dog or a old couple just chatting on a bench. It was quiet and almost like a cemetery in some sense. I felt out of place and almost not deserving of this feeling.

As time went by....I toured London, Amsterdam, Berlin, Rome, Hamburg, Mainz, Bath, Copenhagen, and numerous other towns. They all have parks like this. Grand on scale, and just a simple laid-out scale. Nothing fancy. No gangs roaming or music blaring.

There isn't anything like this in the US....except for maybe Central Park. But even then...its just not the same. You kinda feel like history has stopped.....that you are standing in the 1800s.....and life is different from what you perceive.

When I finally leave Europe for good. There will a dozen things that I will sorely miss....and the parks will be one of those things.

The Ossama Plan: Germany

The Turks in Germany raised this big fuss. They wanted a bunch of things done.....to integrate Germans into their way of thinking....mostly Turkish, but also Islam. So this week....the interior ministry of Germany decided that two things would occur. First.....multi-cultural classes would be deemed necessary and developed very shortly...probably by next school year. A lot of Germans grumbled about this....but they had to look good in the media to the Turks.

So then the second topic came up. Islam will now be taught in the German school system. The Germans always had a religion class for kids between the fifth grade and the tenth grade. It was mostly a one-hour per week episode where a local minister with teaching credentials showed up and did a ethics and religion episode. You actually got a test and grade in this....which alot of kids....for some reason...got mostly "C's" or "D's". The kids who didn't talk much....naturally got the better grades.

So this is now agreed upon.....Islam will be taught. So by the numbers.....someone woke up in the interior ministry after this and realized that across all of Germany today....there are only 120 "real" Muslim instructors (actually accredited by someone, although probably not a German certificate).

Yep.....120 only. So the boys at the interior ministry then pulled out the calculator....and figured they needed another 900 minimum. Since there isn't a single accreditation unit in Germany really producing these accredited Islam teachers....the next step would be to import them. Where would you find the necessary accredited Islam teachers?

Well....Saudi Arabia, of course. The ministry hasn't said where they will get them....but you have a choice of Egypt, Pakistan or Saudi Arabia.....so you can feel the heat already.

So you have a long pause here....an American would sit and think long and hard. This is where most of the problems with radical Islam exist today. These instructors from Saudi Arabia were the trigger for 9-11 and the British bombings.

Are they setting the kettle to boil or lighting the dynamite? Oh yes. It may take ten to fifteen years....but a society of anti-American and anti-German punks will grow up and become issues. They will reshape Germany...the Germans basically did it to themselves.

Oh, and by the way....how many Islamic kids graduate fully from German schools? 2.8 percent. Think about it for a minute. 97 percent don't really graduate. Even in Ribley....we got better statistics.

American "Doctor" in Germany - Forbidden

Over the past year or two in Germany...a number of Americans who came over to teach or work for high-technology companies....had doctoral degrees. These are folks who actually went to UCLA, MIT, or even Mississippi State....and had earned the degree to be referred to as a doctor. It is a mighty fine achievement....so stand there and admit after eight long damn years.....you earned something special.

So there around ten of these folks who came to Germany to work. Naturally, they signed their letters with the appropriate PhD, and even made fancy business cards to let their new friends and co-workers know their status in life.

Sadly.....foreigners can't be "doctors" in Germany. Yep....the Nazi's originally wrote up the rule....for some reason. I'm thinking they didn't want a bunch of French college professors showing up and getting automatic respect. The Nazis even went as far as handing out jail sentences.....if you refer to yourself in public as a "doctor" (of anything, even Texas literature or farm implement design).

The dimwits in question....got around to discussing this rule....and when the EU got started up around 2001....the German empire actually modified this Nazi rule....members of the EU would be granted the status of being recognized as a real doctor but outsiders....from beyond the EU.....can't be accepted.

So the idots Germans had this professor from America....Professor Ian Thomas Baldwin....living over in Jena....who the cops came to invite for a interview. Before the interview....he was Doctor Ian Thomas Baldwin....but the cops made it very CLEAR....it was illegal....and the best he could use was "Professor" from that point on.

So in the past month....the German university elites suddenly woke up and realized the mess being created. This was getting out now...in the press. The Germans literally beg for US doctors and professors to come over....treating like "blue-chip" assets and the American professor is generally a sought-after lecture asset. So the elites have been working hard and have this new rule they are trying to rush through. Basically....if you are a doctor from one of two hundred Carnegie recognized schools....which University of Alabama is one but Troy State ain't.....then you can keep your title and be treated fairly.

Course, this method only helps US professors...not Canadian or Japanese or Chinese or Ecuadoran. The Germans didn't really share why they'd never questioned Ms. Rice (a real doctor) or Mr. Kissenger (a real doctor) or Mr. Gates (a fake doctor but he made enough donations to the right school to get the degree anyway).

Its simply another reason why Germany is a third-world country. Think about the cops.....who waste precious man-hours hunting down would-be American professors with the title of doctor....when they could catch criminals or murderers. You can figure at least 20 man-hours into research or interrogating a guy....then writing the report to close the episode. What a place. And the best part? Nazi-written and still on the books....which says alot about a society that survives.