Saturday, 19 April 2008

The Austin Masturbator

It was a fair week in Austin. There sat a judge...minor court episode....and the defense attorney was responding to the judge (a lady, by Austin standards)....and the defense attorney started rolling his eyes and then doing some funny hand movement from the hip towards the prosecutor. The defense lawyer.....Adam Reposa....was then accused by the judge as acting in ill behavior and conducting a masturbation hand signal.

Mr. Reposa was somewhat offended by this judge's accusation....and then attempted to defend himself....then switched and said that these hand signals were justified. The judge apparently didn't buy this conduct and then ordered Mr. Reposa to be apprehended and to sit in jail for 90 days. Then the judge ordered him apprehended and led out in handcuffs.

The DA.....junior county associate.....Randy Leavitt....who was the party offended by the behavior.....said then that this was a ongoing thing with defense attorneys practicing various various ill behavior in court, and even tossing vulgar terms at the DA. Randy was a bit upset by this behavior. I'm guessing Randy is a Austin gentleman....at least by local standards....and probably saves his best masturbatory signals for extreme cases.
The amusing part about this episode is that the defense attorney did all of the hand signals in front of a female judge and never for an instant thought the judge would catch on. The judge is apparently a bit more learned and more insightful than these idiots think.

So what should we think of Austin lawyers? They apparently do know a few more hand signals than lawyers in Bama or Mississippi....but then hand signals typically don't win cases....and I'm thinking these fellows ought to take a month or two off....maybe in jail.....and go back to reading law books for a while.

History Going Down the Tubes


I got into a light discussion this week with a guy on fallout shelters. Once upon a time....folks with a bit of extra cash left....after the summer vacation, the new car, the upgrade to the kitchen to make mama happy....when there was some cash left to toss around....a guy would go out and buy a fallout shelter. This was popular in the 1960s and started dying out by the early 1970s. I think most of the whacked-up guys did the push....and then women took over....questioning any logic to having a fallout shelter in the backyard. Then guys shifted over to tornado shelters instead...which was ok except it was basically a six foot by four feet shelter with no room for a pool table or nuclear war devices.

To be honest....most of these shelters ended up being magnets for snakes and spiders....and most women absolutely refused to step into any shelter, period.

After a while...some guys started to use the shelter for their secret stash...where they hid their porn or where they kept the extra booze. Some turned the shelter over to the kids and it became a playhouse of sorts. Some had secret affairs with the neighbor's wife and had the liaisons over in the nuclear shelter. They would convince the wife that a real bed ought to be in the shelter for some reason and that only the husband would have a key.

There are several companies in the south now that sale ready-made tornado shelters....you just pay the dude and they come out....dig up your backyard....and toss in a five-foot by five foot shelters (which is supposed to be snake-proof). Nuke shelters? Well....I'll bet in a average year....less than fifty are done up in the US. These are far-right wing types who think that war could happen any day and you got to be prepared. Its a dying form of Americana.

Would I buy one? Nope....total waste of money. Would I buy a house that had a nuclear shelter? Actually....it'd weigh heavily on my mind and be a major-plus. It'd be a private place where I could go and hide-out. Plus it'd be neat to let my associates know that I have a real nuclear shelter. Its funny though....you never see real estate ad's detailing nuclear or tornado shelters associated with the residence. I'm thinking its something negative that real estate folks don't really want to discuss. Maybe.

The Sect

Its amusing to stand back and view the week of the Sect in Texas.

The pictures that are flooded over the internet and news....are of women in bonnets and old fashioned dresses. Amusingly enough....no pictures of men. Whether intentional or not....you start to ponder over the obvious. Even when in court to reclaim the kids.....its women who show up....NOT men. If I were a father....I'd be in the first row and be demanding my son or daughter back. So its pretty whacked up that men won't do the obvious.

The court case? Well....on the first day....it became a circus which was way beyond the capability of the present judge. Its apparent that the state needs to bring in a dozen judges on temporary duty....and clear the docket on this mess real quick. I doubt that they are that smart....so the court circus will merely continue.

The cops? Well....they showed up yesterday in Colorado Springs....to get involved in a case where they think the gal falsely called in the reports of stuff going on in the church compound. This will shift things around in the present court....making the state on the defensive.

The bed at the church? An expert on the Mormon Church came up....having eighteen years of study on the entire church and the way they conduct business. He says almost every temple has a bed....because services tend to drift long and hard. The bed is intended for folks who have trouble in sitting up right or those who are just tired. He couldn't think of a single case where folks actually had sex in the church or temple. He kinda thought it'd be weird to have sex in a place of worship (I pondered the same thing about Baptist churches, but then they have basement rooms for sex.....not that I personally would know anything about the kinky structure of the Baptists).

The authorities did present evidence that at least ten girls were pregnant prior to eighteen, and some were married as well. I thought this was neat....considering in Alabma....we have about 2,000 girls under the age of eighteen each year who get pregnant, and at least the same number, if not more, who are married at 16 or 17 each year (with mama's signature as permission). The case ain't winning points here much.

We had a couple of kids (all boys) who appeared on a news interview yesterday....who were kicked out of the church within the last ten years. In one case....the kid was around 15 and was watching the news a good bit....which irked his "devoted" father. Dad kicked the kid out on the street, and the kid had to go to the county folks to find shelter. Thats pretty crappy when a kid simply tries to get smart and gets kicked out of the house.

Finally, we had some folks admitting that when guys got into the bad side of the church.....they were usually kicked out of the church....but the wife (or wives) and the children remained with the church. They basically drove the guy into the nearby town and dumped him off or let him drive off with the pick-up he owned. The wife and kids? They got absorbed by the remaining members....married off to another guy (spiritually, of course)....and the kids started calling the new father "dad". I thought it was pretty neat how you could be married and divorced "spiritually" without any paperwork or judge's stuff. Saves a ton of money....you know. And this property settlement deal is pretty neat....no alimony....and life just goes on.

So what happens in the coming week? The state is going to find the case collapsing by next weekend....and unless they find some girl that actually complains or says "rape".....this case is falling apart. I suspect that the sect will stand and fight this off....with good lawyers....and unlike the Waco crowd of twenty years ago.....this will go in favor of the members.

So for you guys who have an interest in marrying a 14-year old girl.....head west on highway 87 and watch for signs for San Angelo. Its a right smart town....with a couple of good resturants (Zeitner's Daughter is the best steakhouse in town and the Steak Express is ok too). Ifing you drive out of the back gate of Goodfellow Air Force Base....turn right and go down two miles to the cattle sales barn....and there is a fantastic catfish serving there with some 5-star homemade lemonade. Then head on out to the sect and just tell them you want to join up. It might take a year of convincing....but sooner or later they will allow you into the sect....and then you can hook with a new wife.