Sunday, 20 April 2008

Why I Won't Return to Bama

I sat and pondered why I just wouldn't ever move back to Bama, and found them to be interesting:

I can't stand the hiring of "Friends of Bubba" or "Friends of the Church" for local, county or state jobs.

The law enforcement efforts are juvenile. The cops aren't even in the same league as Andy Taylor.

NASCAR and NCAA football are the only real topics that you can bring up with most guys.

Thirty percent of the guys over the age of thirty...are on some kind of pain-killer (oxie)....for injuries from high school football or college football.

Twenty-five percent of the folks over 65....ought to have their license revoked.

A growing number of Alabama women are divorced by age 30 and have "issues".

The chance of your neighbor selling his farmland to some idiot who puts up a chicken barn? just can't tell.

Baptists.....tons of them....and they just won't go away.

In public....they all talk big on Democrats....but in private....they have clicked the Republican ballot most of their life.

A tax refund check goes to a pontoon boat purchase or a weekend at the Tunica casino in Mississippi.

The impression of most folks if you move to must be gay.

Half of your neighbors have never been more than 100 miles away....and actually consider New Orleans to be an entirely different country.

Most folks think there are still a East Germany and a West Germany.

Most folks still think the Warsaw Pact is in operation.

Kids still graduate each year who can barely read or add numbers.

Teachers in Bama come in two sizes: the smarts & the dumbs.

Sadly.....when you go down to the county Co-Op....and meet the boss there....he wants to tell you one of the 100 derogatory jokes about blacks and Hispanics. He'll always tell you that he isn't racist.

A death in the family usually means an auction because the fool didn't write a will and the family will argue over what is "their property".

Septic tank placement is a science.

Its sad that this was just a ten-minute writing....and I could have written 99 reasons.

Wal-Mart & Russia?

So the rumor this that Wal-Mart is having a strategy drawn up....and hiring bring the market to Russia. The company hired a German by the name of Stephen Fanderl.....who is an expert on moving companies into Russia.

The experience of trying to make Wal-Mart work in Germany....taught the boys a number of lessons. Eventually Wal-Mart gave up and said adios....closing all of its stores in Germany. The chief reason? The Germans have written thousands of pages of regulation and control into pricing and sales. You can't sell a product for less than the discount rate (for example). The company was dragged into court on numerous occasions in Germany....and found that the German lifestyle and lack of competition was stifling for the organization.

How will things go in Russia? I'm thinking that Wal-Mart will find a fairly big market for their sales but encounter crime of a much larger scale than what they've dealt with before. This crime will be in the form of delivery robbery, sales people on the inside who rob from the company, and managers who openly take from the organization. They may survive on and thrive....with a fair amount of security built into the system.

The thing about that oil and natural gas money is rolling into the country....with the rich moving up the ladder and dragging a growing working class with them. The middle class are buying cars and getting real houses now. The commercial world around Moscow is booming. Wal-Mart might find itself at the right place and the right time. Even Home Depot might find itself in a inviting situation with Russia.