Friday, 13 June 2008

Dead, Hoax Dead, Fake Dead, etc

Out in California on Monday....a couple of cops appeared at various schools and announced that classmates had died over the weekend.....because of drinking and driving. The thing is.....this was a organized attempt by the school to make an impression on students about the effects of drinking and driving. No one had died. But before this came out....hours later at each school.....everyone had broken down and was weeping. School effectively stopped and students went into a grief stage.....never even knowing who had died.

The school and the cops think this is a great way to make a point on students.

I'm sitting here.....scratching my head.....wondering why California folks think this way.

If I were a student there....I'd start showing up on Monday and announcing my momma died over the weekend.....telling this story for three hours before I said it was a hoax. Then I'd come in next Monday.....telling how the neighbor shoot four Ninja dudes in his garage.......before I announced this was a hoax. Then the next Monday, I'd announce that aliens had landed in my driveway and taken Daddy off to Mars.

I'm thinking California is a pretty lousy state to live in....and the cops must not be that busy to earn that $180k income that they take in. I'm thinking a bunch of idiot teachers run the schools and they can't teach by any other method. I'm thinking things there just aren't right. Then it occurs to me that this is the state that requires Al Gore's "Got Global Warming" video to be truth. So its a neat plus to teach hoax stuff. To bad they don't chat about Bigfoot.

America, Under Attack


There, this week, America came under attack. Whilst you slept, while Britney was sipping fruit juices, while Katie Couric was begging you to watch CBS.....the Belgium wussies came to steal Anheuser-Busch. With $46 billion in hand, InBev (a Belgium & Brazilian operation) are attempting to take over the Americas King of Beers.

Its a sad day....when the dollar is so cheap...and these Belgium wussies can threaten a mighty beer-drinking nation like ours.

What will happen when the final end comes? I'm thinking the Belgium crowd will come and add a secret wussie ingredient or two to the malt and beverage mix...to make American beer drinkers more like Belgium men.....subservient to women. They will introduce a grapefruit-mix beer....like the Germans have today. They will introduce a cola-beer mix. They will introduce a vitamin-enriched beer mix.

America will began to stumble and slur their word differently. They will wear Birkenstock shoes as they haul hay or do roofing work. They will start to wear shorts and long socks. American women will start to order small glasses of beer....and sip it with a lemon on the side. Honky-tonk bars will turn into sipping wussie bars where fake cowboy pictures will appear and Dustin Hoffman will be used in "king of the beer" ads. We'll weep when two guy hold hands in a beer commercial and they talk of going out for a beer.

I'm holding out.....hoping that Belgium never finishes this purchase. I'm hoping that Bill Gates will see a wiser choice in combining Microsoft and Anheuser-Busch. Basically, I'm praying for a miracle. So as you go to bed tonight....open a beer and gulp it down....and say a prayer for Anheuser-Busch. Maybe God will hear enough of us.