Tuesday, 19 August 2008

Enclave: Bama

After watching the South Ossetia episode in Georgia play itself out this past week, and how the mighty Russians came to rescue (their wording, not mine) them poor Ossetia folks.....I was sitting there and thinking of how being an enclave might be a good thing.

Suppose that Bama could declare itself an enclave and then get automatic acceptance as an independent enclave....probably worldly-status....and maybe even get an NFL football team as part of this overall deal?

We understand that you'd have to cut off the borders and forbid entry by those Tennessee and Mississippi folks...unless of course they'll there for NCAA football or NASCAR races. We also would be accepting of limiting New York City folks from entry....maybe cut those radical California folks from coming in as well.

As a true enclave....we'd have to rethink our dry county status throughout the state, and maybe tell these Baptists that dryness just can't survive in a enclave-type environment. We might also have to rethink the Bama sex-toy law and maybe toss that law too....currently forbidding women pleasures with mechanical instruments.

As an independent enclave.....we could attract a different crowd....bringing in more NASCAR drivers and teams. We could build a Hollywood-of-sorts out in Mobile where state-made shows would be produced. We'd have two or three state-run channels....one to run 24-hour coverage of bass-pro fishing.

The problem though, is that someone has to come rescue you and grant this enclave status......and there we run into our primary problem.....there just aren't any friendly "Russian-like" folks around to come and help us out. So this enclave fantasy is just that....a fantasy.

Tainted War Crime Monkey Court?

With barely any mention in the TV media, there is a court case opening this week in Riverside, CA....where a former former Marine has been charged with crimes related to his period in the US Marines. The guy had left the Marines, and based on testimony given by a former associate who was with him at the time in Iraq....there is a murder-related charge against this guy.

There are several curious things.

First...the crime was committed (at least the prosecutor says its a crime) in Fallujah, Iraq in 2004 (over four years ago). There isn't a single member of the US Marines on the prosecution team or helping them (US Naval investigators apparently have helped). Its strictly a civilian matter, highly dependent on a law which congress drafted up to cover contractors and civilians in a warfront.....not GI's (even senators and congressmen admit today that they really didn't envision GI's in such a civilian court or even ex-GI's).

Second....there are no bodies. Normally, for a murder charge.......there are bodies, but here.....none. It helps to have four years to pass, but we have to be brutally honest here...you don't dig Muslim bodies out of the ground for this type of legal action.....especially in Iraq.

Third....some witnesses have been subpoenaed to appear but are still in the US military (at least the press says this).....but the same press reports that a number of these potential witnesses have said that they will not voice any comments in court, and will readily tell the judge that this "court" cannot offer any legal opinion over American GI's in combat.

There are a number of folks watching this. First....various Army and Marine investigative staffs might see more reason to dump their info on an individual to local authorities in Florida rather than a military court where commanders and generals run the show. If you wait till Captain Joe or Sarge leaves the service, then hand the info to some redneck court in Florida...there could be a higher chance of conviction.

For military commanders.....if this guy is convicted, then you have every NCO sitting there and questioning your orders, and if they are legit. They would all have to worry about an accident or a military battle....whether men lived or died.....based on what might happen in a Dallas or Cleveland court in three years.

Then we have the simple question of whether a US judge is able to deem a verdict over a combat situation. This is probably my biggest problem. If you went throughout the entire US....ninety-nine percent of all judges simply have never seen combat. How can they render a verdict or decide on some action without a basis of understanding?

Can classified information be brought into such a court? Can a court order a US Marine commander to appear while he is stationed in Iraq today? Can a court hand out a death sentence to a former GI while a current GI of the same circumstance in a court martial might walk free?

I have problems here. If a guy committed a crime while in uniform....there are various methods available which can be used to bring the guy back into uniform and put a court martial into effect. There have been several cases of such in the past ten years. This is what amazes me....we had a tool already at our disposal....why include GI's into this same group as a contractor or civilian worker?

And finally.....I'm probably one of the few who believes every contractor who comes into a combat zone....ought to be "deputized" and within the military code of conduct while deployed. The military ought to have a simple apparatus which forces all of these civilians and contractors to act in a manner which the military deems acceptable. Commit a crime while a contractor in a war zone? Then face a military court system and defend yourself that way.

Again, I point toward an incompetent White House which made irrational decisions to fit their view and never looked at simple laws and common sense. This law created....should never have included GI's.....so why allow this to be tossed in? Thats the most curious question of all.

The Legend of the Fake Bigfoot

For those who haven't been paying attention to things out in Palo Alto, California.....last Friday....the two dudes from Georgia came out with their press conference over the proclaimed Bigfoot that they had found. The chief thing which was going to be announced at this spectatulor moment.....was the DNA evidence....with three tests conducted by independent labs. Apparently....the results were (1) human DNA, (2) Possum DNA, and a failed DNA test on number three test. The moment I read Possum.....I kinda smiled but then thought.....well....maybe the Bigfoot was eating some Possum when he keeled over and died out in the Georgia woods.

Today.....the dude (really an idiot) who brought the boys out from Georgia and took possession of the Bigfoot frozen body.....Tom Biscardi came up to thaw out the Bigfoot, and then discovered after a lengthly thaw process....while the two Georgia guys were back in the 4-star hotel.....that the damn bigfoot was a fake. The best we can assume is that Tom paid Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer a fair amount of money.....which I am assuming in the $25k range, to get the Bigfoot transported out to LA and put into Tom's hands.

So there, bright and early on Sunday morning....Tom called the hotel to ask the boys about this fake....and they said they'd give him a promissory note at 8AM that morning over breakfast. Well....Tom arrived to find the boys gone. So far....forty-eight hours have passed and neither of the boys have been seen. My guess is that they drove out to LA in a car....have $25k in their hands....and likely are in Vegas.....playing the slots...watching some "Nudes on Ice" shows, and probably asking around if anyone wants an alien body or such. Sometime around Sunday....they will show back up in Georgia and likely claim that they were kidnapped by aliens......and they've got actual proof of ET.....if anyone has $25k to spare.

My feeling? Well....there's a movie here.....maybe with Will Ferrell or Danny Devito....with Larry the Cable Guy as the Bigfoot hunter.