Sunday, 5 October 2008


I have this weakness....for a fine breakfast. Naturally, a southern style breakfast is my favorite. Bacon, toast, scrambled eggs, hash browns, ham, sausage, and pancakes. In my youth, it wouldn't have probably not that healthy for me.

So for the past year, I've been doing the German style....low fat. I've missed out on the grease and heavy foods.

To be honest, its probably a better thing for me. In fact....I can go for hours now off this German style breakfast before I get hungry. Maybe its the almond butter or the honey....or just the croissants and brotchens. Its been months since I had a mid-morning donut or snack.

Welcome To Joe Six-Pack's World

Hello, I'm Joe Six-Pack and I'd like to welcome you to my world.

This week.....some folks brought up my name and tossed it around in several different directions. Once the media picked up my name....they tossed forty-four additional directions. I was kinda left out in the midst of some mess, with a bunch of dimwits wanting to offer up their criticism and negativity of my life and my world. I'd like to say a few words.

I'm a resident of urban environments, the "burbs", small towns, rural areas, and even the "boonies".

I love fried chicken, macaroni, ribs, clam chowder, biscuits, grits, bacon, and pizza. I drink beer, wine, and sip various alcohols of color and flavor.

I've ridden a million miles over interstates, highways, country roads, and even dirt roads.

I've dug neighbor's yards for septic tanks, bought cookies from girl scouts, attended Fourth of July fireworks, gone to memorial services of men who've fallen, and listened to whines and sorrows of friends.

I've paid fair taxes and unfair taxes. I've accepted potholes and poor quality road construction as the "norm". I've supported unethical and corrupt politicians as much as deacons of the local church.

I've wept at the passing of Princess Di and of Micky Mantle. I've dug graves for dogs and cats that have gone onto higher levels of life.

I've cleared storm drains, shoveled snow, and burnt leaves on bright fall afternoons. I've built snowmen, anchored fishing boats to piers, and watched planes land at O'Hare Airport.

I've seen love gained, love lost, and love disrupted. I've seen women dumped by losers, winners and crackpots. I've seen guys dumped by bimbos, hotties, and heartless women.

I've watched Hee Haw, Baywatch, and Lost. I've seen hundreds of tornado watches and warnings. I've listened to Johnny Cash as a young man and as dying man.

I've voted Republican and voted Democrat. I've voted for some reasons, and then voted for no reasons at all. I've voted for dimwits, losers and impostors.

I've lived a fairly young or short life, depending on your view of things. I've accomplished so little, or perhaps too much....all depending on your view of things.

Thats me....Joe Six-Pack. Across this nation, from sea to shining sea....there are fifty million of us "Joes". We aren't exactly an extinct breed or dying like the dinosaurs. For some reason, you can't kill us off. We induct new members each year, and a few die off. There is a complexity in our lives....because we can't get ahead. We can't be rich or famous. We can't make the world turn or skip a beat. We can't win the heart of Brittney Spears or be featured on M-TV's "Rehab" show.

We can afford a house or apartment or trailer or some houseboat. We own a car or truck or motorcycle....making payments usually....and do the best we can. We might get a few days off for vacation each year and wander off to Myrtle Beach or Vegas or some state park in Missouri. We might have been to a Heart concert or a Randy Travis concert. We probably have some important words that we owe a wife, a girlfriend, or some significant person in our life....but we really aren't going to share that because its too personal.

We have bad habits....from smoking and hanging out with the wrong crowd or spending money too freely. We might take daily painkillers to kill a back pain from high school football. We probably limp because of that motorcycle accident twenty years ago. We have a gray hair or two from stress or just being old. We'd like to say things to the Boss but it just wouldn't be smart.

Somewhere in the mess....some media types have portrayed us in a fashion of ridicule. Some want to suggest that we are insignificant or not part of "mainstream". Some will suggest that we can't make a decision on who to vote for, and they'd really like to help educate us in some fashion. Some will suggest that we are out of touch. Some will say that we aren't worth discussing.

At the end of the day....its the Joe Six-Packs that build your roads, enlist in your armed forces, and ensure that your electrical supply is up and running. We bring beer to your local tavern. We drive your ambulance over to your house to pick you up when your wife shot you in the leg over bad words. We fix your radiator and septic tanks. We aren't Nobel Prize winners or the type to end up in the Academy Awards crowd. We don't intend to run for office because it'd be below our ethics to lie. And we don't have any interest in seeing the Alps or the fascinating elephants of Kenya.

Life is kinda simple, and we keep it that way. Welcome to our world....maybe you'd like to stay a while....sip some tea....and get something extra out of life that you aren't getting now.