Thursday, 23 October 2008

Dear Abby

Yesterday in the news...stood Dear Abby and probably the best column that I've seen in years:

Dear Abby:

I am in my 70s, on Social Security and in my second marriage. My wife, "Irene," is in her early 50s and holds a good job. She also holds the purse strings, and allows me $5 a week for coffee with my friends. I drive a little scooter, and Irene has given me a gas credit card so I can get around.

Last week, I told her that I need some underwear and asked her for her store credit card. She said she has a drawer full of nylon panties and that I should wear them instead. She said when they are worn out she will buy me some new men's underwear. She also said she didn't want to waste any money on me since the panties are still wearable.

What if someone finds out? Irene says that since I'm over 70 it doesn't matter. Do you think this is right?

So there I paused reading this.....thinking.....man, this poor individual is screwed. His wife is an absolute bitch. She has to be totally upset that he wrote into Dear Abby to tell this story. Would I wear women's underwear? Well....even if it was XXL....I'd decline the offer. I'd go mow yards and then hustle over to Wal-Mart and buy the cheapest stuff they had. I'd advertise myself as a male gigolo to older neighborhood gals. I'd even walk dogs....just to have enough underwear money in my pocket.

What will happen to this guy? I'm betting his wife likely read the column and got furious.....then tossed his butt out into the street. Hours later, she realized her mistake....but then found the guy living with some hot 65-year old gal four houses down....who bought him lots of real underwear. Thats the way it is in Florida....dump a husband....bam....new woman recruits the guy immediately.