Tuesday, 28 October 2008

Poll This!

FOX News political analyst Karl Rove said by his count, there have been 177 national polls conducted as of Oct. 24, compared with 55 at the same time in 2004.

So we’ve tripled the number of national polls…with polling organizations being created out of thin air. So I’m taking creative liberty to figure what polling groups might exist and how they reflect these important times.

The National Academy of Liberal Arts Pollers: O-95%, M-3%

The Coon-Hunters Association of Pollers: O-8%, M-92%

The Texas Chainsawer’s Association: O-13%, M-80%, Chuck Norris-7%

Former Atlanta Braves Association: O-32%, M-32%, Clipper Jones-36%

The Mountain Dew Polling Association: O-1%, M-1%, Coke-3%, Mountain Dew-94%, Pepsi-1%

The Fox News 18-Hours-Per-Day Viewers Association: O-.5%, M-98.5%, O’Reilly-1%

The Zombie Polling Group: O-1%, M-99%

Liberal Frog Hunters Association of Macon, Georgia: O-99%, M-1%

Free Baptists Polling Congregation: O-0%, M-100

The Methodist Association: O-99%, M-1%

CNN Correspondents Association: O-89%, M-1%, Unqualified to vote or think for themselves: 10%

Mexican Citizens Registered to Vote Association Without US Citizenship: O-89%, M-11%

German Citizens Registered to Vote Association Without US Citizenship: O-94%, M-6%

American Citizens Over 60 And Never Have Voted Ever Association: O-24%, M-76%

New York Residents Registered in NY, FL, and NJ: O-77%, M-22%

Florida Residents Registered in Three Counties or More: O-99%, M-1%

Milwaukee Imaginary People Poll: O-92%, M-6%, Mickey Mouse-2%

St Louis Dead and Registered Residents Poll: O-88%, M-12%

Big-butted Tennessee Women Married to Guys Named Larry Poll (50 women membership): O-49%, M-49%, Larry-2%

Memphis Dead Registered Residents Since 1966 Poll: O-89%, M-11%

Hollywood Stars with Four Rehabs or More Polling Association: O-88%, M-1%, Can’t Remember Enough to Vote-11%

Karl has a point, this polling agenda really hasn’t done much of anything, except make people think things which aren’t reality. And when you are stuck on fantasy…something’s wrong. The curious thing....up until the 1940s....polling really didn't exist. This only came about after WW II. Its curious how we as a nation survived without polling.