Saturday, 13 December 2008

Ethnical Groups

Long have I pondered this debate....there is a ethnic group for everyone and everyone for a ethnic group.

What is sad here....is that today....I belong to no real ethnic group. You could refer to me as British-American.....because of the relatives who came over in the early 1700s to North Carolina. But thats fifteen generations ago. And then you have the problem of this not be very "special".

So I've come to a radical thought....Bama-American.

Its different. Its new. And its pretty much whatever I want to make out of it.

A Bama-American tends to be slightly heavier than the traditional American guy. He eats a bit more fattier food....like catfish, hush puppies, ribs, fries, bar-b-q, steak and chicken.

A Bama-American tends to drive a truck or a fairly big car. He isn't much into small vehicles or gas-savings. He'd like to have space for a dog to ride too.

A Bama-American can vote Republican or Democrat....although typically he sees both as dimwits and thinks either is capable of taking a bribe.

A Bama-American has most of his calender from September to November filled with Saturday afternoon football meetings. It can be Auburn or Alabama....doesn't matter which.

A Bama-American tends to be the first guy out after a tornado warning....ready to help any guy who had damage or issues. If it takes all night....he'll be there for his neighbor, cousin or in-laws.

A Bama-American isn't particular about women except trailer trash gals are a notch above the rest. If he can find a trailer gal with a 1976 Ford up on blocks in the front yard, its a match made in heaven.

A Bama-American watches mostly Fox News, TBS, and the local stations. He knows that NPR exists but hasn't ever tuned those folks in. And he wouldn't care to watch any cooking shows unless they were frying catfish.

A Bama-American, I think I could turn this into a regular phrase....maybe even Katie Couric might use it once a month.....for some odd reason. It'd have to be added to the dictionary sooner or later. Maybe folks would start to realize that we Bama-Americans are being marginalized and discriminated against in the national view of things. We might be able to overcome these discriminary episodes and eventually get a Nobel Peace prize....like that Tennessee guy....Al Gore.