Thursday, 30 April 2009

The Arlen Plan (Parody)

Quietly, ever so quietly....there in 2001....as Karl Rove arrived in DC....he came to realize that Arlen Specter was a nut. He also came to realize that Arlen pretended to be a lawyer of some note....but mostly receiting Scottlish legal history....which only eight guys from Ohio and Pennslyvania were qualified to do in the entire nation. Finally, Karl came to realize that Arlen was the biggest pretender of being a Republican...when he wasn't.

After weeks of thinking and pondering....which most Bama folks do greatly.....Karl came to a fascinating plan. It was brilliant.

Karl hired a stripper from Jersey City who had hypnotic powers. She was sent to Delaware and in a private stripper session with Senator Joe Biden....she convinced Joe that Arlen could be converted to the Democratic party.

For several years, Joe worked weekly and monthly on this idea of brining Arlen Specter over to the Democratic party. All the while....Karl sat in the shadows and knew what would eventually come. It was a strategy that even Clinton himself...would have wept over.

So as the values of Arlen Specer came down to a neat and round number of zero.....then the momentum kicked in. You see...here was a pretender Republican....with the only talent in life as a Scottish law expert....who usually contributed little to nothing to the Senate.

On the 100th day of the Obama presidency....the conversion occurred. Joe was happy. Obama was happy. The media was happy. The Republicans were happy. In fact....the happiest guy of all....was Karl Rove.

You see...here is a 79-year old guy with limited contributions....who can no longer be the Republican pretender. In fact, the Democrats are now stuck with some Scottish law expert.....who gives them little to no extra value. Oh, it is 60 to 40 for the vote....but face it....it was 60 to 40 a month ago....before Arlen made his announcement.

But now, we get an extra bit of entertainment. In today's news....did you note how Harkin from Iowa is upset that he's possibly been bumped on seniority now? Did you note that a couple of other guys just got bumped a notch as well? Did you a bit of infighting? Unhappy feelings? Yep.

Karl is sitting there now....mostly smiling. For the remaining eighteen months prior to the 2010 election...there a bunch of old Democratic Senators who are upset and mad over their position in life being diminished. The Democrats are stuck with some 79-year old guy who mostly recites Scottish law whenever the opporunity occurs. And somewhere in this entire mess....a bunch of folks up in Pennslyvania are waking up to this tune that a pretender Republican is now a Democrat....or maybe he's a pretender Democrat? Who can be sure of anything? Well.....Karl can.

So in the shadows of this whole mess....having years working the plan....Karl is smiling because the Democrats are stuck with this goofy character. And they really can't say much of anything.

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