Saturday, 21 March 2009

The Only Things I Can Teach You

Behind everything that I represent or portray....I'm accidentally a mentor. Its not like I asked for the 'profession' or went to some university to gain 'mentordom' (don't worry, its a non-existent word). Its some freak act of nature which my dad passed onto me as a kid, and I simply keep passing it today.

I sat down several years ago and finally grasped this mentor thing. I didn't see this as much of a big deal. Some people did.

So I'm going to offer up ten things that you need to know in life....just my ten things as I see them.

First, it never hurts to stand back and look at everything going on....the problems, the chaos, the troubles, the woes, the madness, the dimness, and ponder the big picture. For some reason, our chief priority in a chaotic moment...is to jump up and start doing a bunch of things....without a lot of thinking. I would strongly suggest to pause over the situation and consider implications. Sometimes...doing nothing...is better than doing a thousand things.

Second, the nation and the world survived a heck of a long time without internet, modern technology, and schedules. If something fails once in a while.....I wouldn't really get to upset....life goes on. You don't need to fall apart when your flight gets canceled or an ice storm kills your power.

Third, in the midst of a moment with a terminal guy....who is fairly shaken by their turn of events in their life...just standing there and listening is more powerful than uttering all your talk on cancer research, positive thinking, or where the best hospitals are located. Quietly listening.....because they really want to tell you something....and they don't want vast responses back.

Fourth, we used to barely know the name of the guy who was the governor, the President, and the guy who runs Jeopardy....and that was enough. We now know the names of around 35 different senators, six members of the cabinet, and twenty-odd represenatives....plus maybe even the mayor of our local town. But ask yourself this...has this really improved anything? Sometimes....knowing more....means knowing little in the end.

Fifth, did it ever really matter over the politics of your favorite movie star, your favorite pop-star, your local minister, or the neighbor? A whole bunch of folks want to tell us something now....which really doesn't fix or improve anything. Then they want to encourage us to get 'political'...as though they know best. The truth is....we just might be ok with going back to the way it was in 1966.

Sixth, you could spend $6k on a magnificent vacation to China for ten days and get a vast experience beyond your imagination. You could also spend $600 camping in Minnesota for ten days, grilling steak and frying fish on alternate days, and still have an experience that was vastly beyond your imagination.

Seventh, some people have a natural tendency to argue. Let them get just a teaspoon's amount of argument....before you smile and readily agree with them just to get off the hook.

Eighth, sometimes....a sense of humor....is worth more than a million dollars. And if you can slyly use that humor in spoonfuls....its worth two million dollars.

Ninth, acceptance of a miserable situation...means that you really didn't consider any alternate scenarios. If you have alot of patience and enjoy being miserable....by all means...continue on. If not....then simply conceive a different scenario....a different solution....a different life.

Tenth, gains in life are simply not measured. Maybe its a mile or a foot or thousand miles....a gain is a gain....and should always be appreciated.

My ten cents of mentoring.

The DVD Dimwits

Yesterday, it was finally put out in the UK. Yes, those DVD's that President Obama gave Gordon Brown....are region one DVD's. For those of you from Ripley and Boise....this means that they only play in the US. So Prime Minister Gordon Brown....sitting at Number Ten Downing Street, London, England.....can't play the damn DVD's that President Obama presented as a gift last week. I hinted of this possibility....but I kept thinking....these people have to be smart and have bought these in the UK...right? Wrong.

So the value of the DVD's? About as much as a pair of socks?

Could Gordon sell the DVD's? Then it suddenly came to me. The greatest E-Bay gimmick of all time.....a set of DVD's presented by the president of the United States....to Gordon Brown....as a gift from one world leader to another. The value? I'm thinking well over $10k. Yes....the greatest moment in E-Bay history.

So, Gordon....this is what you must do....declare this a charity situation and then open an account called "Gordie_B_Hot_Stuff" and then put the collection up, with an offically signed document from your pen....with a picture of yourself in a tweed jacket of course.....and then put it up for auction. The money....keep $60 for yourself and buy the wife a new purse....and give the rest to the "Orphans of London" society. I'm betting $10k minimum on the sale.

Now, turning back to the Obama crew in DC. You've been made into fools. You let the boss down bigtime. You haven't traveled overseas much and it shows greatly. You have no taste and no class.....so you need a new employee in the White House....just to pick the right gifts. Region one and region two? Get some information and figure this out. Don't act stupid. If you don't the answer.....ask the telepromter....but get the scoop on the stuff you buy.