Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Challenges for Big Guys

I sat there kinda shocked today. Apparently….some smart folks over at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine….have determined that big dudes….heavy guys….means more food production, thus triggering a major cause of CO2 gas emissions….destroying the Earth.

As Dr Phil says…."Moving about in a heavy body is like driving in a gas guzzler."

A heavy dude is said to be emitting a ton more of climate-warming carbon dioxide per year than a thin one. I looked at myself….and I was trying fit myself into the right frame of destructive human (3/4, 5/6, 7/8, or 9/10). I was thinking three quarters…meaning I was mildly destructive.

What does this really mean? An extra billion tons of CO2 a year created. So the bottom line? This adds up to emissions that heat up the world, melting polar ice caps and raising sea levels. Oh, and I’m destroying rain forests.

I paused while looking over this….sipping an ice tea and eating a moon pie….wondering how I would fess up and fix my destructive ways. After a while, I came to some point where I was wondering why the heck this London bunch would care about big dudes? I’m willing to bet they are all vegetarians. There is a conspiracy here at work, and we need to watch how things unfold…to protect the big guys of America.

What may happen in the end….is some kinda carbon score fitted for you as you visit a county office, and they pull out the tape measure. A big guy would pay extra for living on the Earth….and a little guy would get off free of charge. That would be a sad way of life.

Texas and its Issues

Apparently, late last week, those kindly political folks in Texas passed a bill giving the police “real” authority to arrest people who fail to identify themselves. Its now apparently a crime, in Texas, if you don’t help the police or admit to your identity.

I sat and looked over this article. Current law made it legal to avoid giving your identity until after you were officially arrested. If simply detained or stopped at a roadblock….you could just smile and hand over your registration with nothing else….and the cops would be furious but limited in terms of what they could do. With the new law….if you didn’t immediately ID yourself, they can arrest you just for failing to help them.

As one senator spoke about the matter (State Senator Wendy Davis, a Democrat from Ft Worth): “I think we’re opening ourselves up to some unforeseen consequences".

This all sounds pretty weird to me. Naturally, in Bama….whenever the cops ever pull you over….you hand them your license and everyone gets along pretty fine. So I’m looking over at these Texas dudes and gals….wondering what the heck they are doing when they get pulled over or stopped at some roadblock. Something ain’t right here.

Naturally, as sarcastic as I am…..I might just smile at the cop….and then announce myself “Roy of Ripley” and see how far this identification goes in Texas. I’m guessing that the state dimwits didn’t ever think that we’d use English methods of identification like the days of Kings and damsels. You folks could be Cindy of the Valley beyond Tuscumbia or Don of the de-weeded-land between Guntersville and Mobile or Russell of the Hilly Land. I’m guessing the Texas cops would sit there for about 30 seconds and just utter the phrase “damn”….realizing that we’ve figured their game.

So when you’ve had a rough day, sitting there at nine….sipping some Bud….nothing on TV….wondering what are the idiots in Texas doing tonight to entertain themselves….just imagine the next dimwitted law that might erupt (Texas long-neck beers must be five inches minimum….just my guess). I’m hoping stuff like this doesn’t catch on in Bama. We’ve got enough trouble, with various dry counties and such.