Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Notching Life up a Notch

Just when you thought this stupid Miss America/gayness/say-the-right-thing episode was almost ended, especially after the Donald spoke today....then we Perez Hilton making another comment.

If you remember Perez....he kinda started the whole thing.

After Prejean's comment.....Perez got all upset and then called Prejean a "stupid bitch."

Apparently, he had a chance to say he was sorry....but then kinda froze and avoided the whole comment. Then in the midst of this MSNBC interview today....he said:
"I called her the 'b' word, and hey, I was thinking the 'c' word."

I sat there for a while and thought....you know...this Perez guy is a "D" word, a "E" word, a "F" word, a "T" word, and probably even a "Y" word.

Course, now you have to start taking guesses over these words of mine, and remember....I only have a vocabulary of 2,132 words.

An Odd Day for News

First, the CEO for GM said that he was all up for the idea of moving the company headquarters out of Detroit.....which meant he was threatening to move a 4-star loser of a company into your neck of the woods or worse. Every mayor in America has to be worried now that they might be the chosen "lamb" for the GM folks. Naturally, this means coughing up money, property, and some kind of corrupt deal to get some big-loser who is basically bankrupt moved to your town. My choice? Birmingham, Bama. This way....the GM bigwigs who move....will still feel at home and haul their weapons with them to work each day.

This kid....Shane Fitzgerald....who became a 5-minute legend on Yahoo News, CNN and MSNBC...for posting a fake quote on Wikipedia...over some dead French poet who shall remain nameless (at least in my book). Apparently, news groups and newspapers were stupid enough to copy the quote and use it for the dead French guy. The bogus quote? "One could say my life itself has been one long soundtrack. Music was my life, music brought me to life, and music is how I will be remembered long after I leave this life. When I die there will be a final waltz playing in my head that only I can hear." The media is getting all weepy over how someone could possibly write something fake and have it appear on Wiki. I paused over the smell of this and kinda wondering if me and the media were living on the same planet. Fake and bogus stuff isn't supposed to appear on Wiki? Oh my.

Some nitwit is talking about a soda tax....to help pay for healthcare. I kinda sat there for a while...thinking....pausing....then wondering why not have a gum tax...a chip tax....a catfish tax....a ribs tax...a apple tax....a catfood tax....heck, why not even a condem tax? Then everyone could have free healthcare, a new free Dodge truck, a 30-foot bass boat, and a free trip to Disneyland each year. Sounds pretty neat and we'd all sign up for this tax deal.

Some Army guy went nuts in Iraq....so they took away his weapon and ordered him over to the stress clinic. There, he got into a aggravated state....shot and killed a couple of GI's with another weapon that he acquired somewhere. Third tour in the warzone. Naturally, the Army now says that they will charge him with murder. I paused over this for 15 seconds....wondering if you were ordered to some stress clinic and were kinda nuts before getting there...the odds of any court declaring you able to face murder charges are zero.

Some Indian guy (from India naturally)....has apparently not washed for 35 years. He was told years ago that this would increase the chances of him having a son (he has seven daughters). This dude....Kailash "Kalau" Singh....does a fire "bath" each evening....standing next to some bonfire...smoking a joint (marry-j-u-wanna) and says his prayers. He claims the fire kills germs and infection in the body. I paused over this for while....after about six months....it probably doesn't matter...you can't get no dirtier than what you are....so 34.5 years don't figure into this much. The wife must be smoking a joint too because I just can't figure how she allows him to do this and get away with it. Meanwhile...it would seem like them Dove soap folks would want to hire him up and fly him to Tupelo for a fancy four-star bath commercial.

The Donald spoke out and says Miss California can keep her crown. Apparently, this is kinda like the Pope speaking, so all this gay upset feelings kinda shrink up and dry away now....at least in Don's vision. I'm guessing Miss California will rush out tonight and say as much as possible to keep this pumped up and the gay folks will need to run out and find some MSNBC host to weep over the tragic end to their issue. Meanwhile, some proud Bama millionaire is likely trying to hook with Miss California and get married by July.

Since "Cap and Trade" has become a pretty evil thing to say in global warming circles...the president today has hired up someone to think long and hard, and come up with a new phrase. The key feature though at the end of the day....after the companies have all been handed their bill for "Cap and Trade", is that they simply will pass the expense back to you. So no matter how you swing this game....you still get taxed for something thats imaginary in the end.

It would appear that at least six people in Milwaukee are shocked that their former Roman Catholic archbishop, Rembert Weakland, admitted today that he is gay. The other 620,000-odd folks were still trying to remember the 2002 episode where he resigned over some sex and financial scandal involving a man. Adding to the torment of folks in Milwaukee....Rembert has now written a book over the whole thing...but this is kinda trying to remember or care about the twelve women who did President Bill Clinton...and to be honest....maybe six of us care about that episode today as well.

All in all...a fascinating day.

Just An Odd Question

Everyone is chatting about this wonderful event with the $2 trillion to be saved on healthcare over ten years and how this makes government mandated care now possible.

My odd question.....if this is so great and saves all this money.....wouldn't this just make it easier for regular people to get regular healthcare insurance now.....without government mandated healthcare? I mean.....my dad used to say that $2 million was a heck of alot of money. So $2 billion is a tremendous amount of money. And $2 trillion? Surely that would pay for everyone's healthcare and we could just skip this whole mandated thing.....right?

Or is this some kind of funny math that just doesn't add up but makes sense?

Green Job Ad (Parody)

Green Jobs for America, Incorporated, wishes to announce, in accordance with the White House agenda for providing five million green jobs for America....that we are about to put our newest and "greenish" vessel out to the high seas.

The USS Gore is set to sail on 1 July on regular monthly runs between New York City and London. We will be able to handle up to 22 tons of cargo and sixteen passengers. Powered by 64 Oarsmen and two sails...we hope to make the voyage in twelve weeks.

Presently we are recruiting the following positions:

1 x Vessel Commander with a Natural Sciences degree, experience with disheartened oarsmen, and a squint in your left eye.

2 x disciplined oarsmen chiefs, with degrees in Earth Science.

32 x senior oarsmen technicians, preferably former members of a NCAA football team. Must have prior experience at oaring.

32 x junior oarsmen technician.

4 x cooks with either Denny's, Catfish Cabin or Sonic experience.

Join the revolution for green jobs and be a part of the White House agenda. Within five years, we will over 163,000 vessels on the high seas and will be employing over one million Americans in a up and coming revolution.