Saturday, 22 August 2009

Pretending to be a Democrat

Within a few months...I will likely be leaving the "safety" of Air Force employment as a contractor....and likely relocating back to the states. It was an interesting experience...being amongst mostly independent or Republican-like folks for thirty years of my life. There are consequences though....I may very well be in a new job (outside of DoD or the Air Force)....and the majority of the folks are Democrat. Yes....unbelievable....I realize that.

So for several weeks...I've been pondering this dilemma and realize that I must go into a "pretend-situation" and just act like a Democrat as much as possible when around these other people.

Kinda like being a Borg, but not being a Borg....you know.

This has led to an examination of what it takes to be a pretender-Democrat.

First, you have to believe that government funding....is the answer to every problem. You can't do something without it. And if you think you can do something without it....you aren't a real Democrat.

Second...you have to believe that teachers in America....are the only thing saving us from being a third world Republic. Its a difficult belief...considering that they can barely teach two-thirds of the kids in the third grade to read and they really want to teach your kid about sex (because that's the one thing they really know).

Third....you have to believe that sex in any variation...even with imaginary people or aliens....is ok and cool. It's also ok to talk about it on TV shows....at barber shops....and in the presence of men dressed as women or women dressed as hookers.

Fourth....you have to believe that businesses have to be a state of evil...and government control over businesses is the only thing that can makes America right.

Fifth.....you have to believe that guns and nukes are evil, unless in the hands of North Koreans or Chinese folks.

Sixth...you have to believe that before NPR came along...no one got real news. Also, that jazz, opera and classical music stuff on NPR...never was necessary.

Seventh....you have to believe that computer models are absolute in determining global warming...even though the same models would say that Brittney Spears should have stayed with K-Fed, that Madonna should have stayed with Mr. Madonna, and Cheney was the son of Satan.

Eigth....you have to believe that while the NRA is evil, the ACLU is good....although the ACLU has to overlook some portion of the Constitution to make the NRA look evil.

Nineth...you have to believe that quotas in life are absolutely necessary. You can never have enough midgets in the Senate or House. You can never have enough Albino CEO's. You can never have enough graduates from Harvard business schools who can bankrupt half of America's banks. You can never have enough alcoholics flying planes. And you can never have enough Amish folks driving BMWs.

Tenth...you have to believe that there can never be enough taxes. If there were no taxes...how would we build bridges or magnificent governments (think of America before 1917...when there were only property taxes and sales taxes). Somehow, a nation got built without taxes....must have been a mistake.

To be honest....maybe I've hung around these independent guys and Republican guys too long....and maybe I need a sabbatical of sorts....to mellow out. Maybe I can watch enough Jeopardy, Dancing with the Stars, and the Today Show....to overcome natural tendencies.

Maybe down the line....this will all make sense and the first thirty-odd years were just a dream....like Dorthy in the Wizard of Oz. Well....yeah....like Dorthy. So somewhere at the end of this pavement...there are some golden stomping boots and I'll just click them and feel better.

The State of Your Mind

As most of you know....I read alot on science and technology. This week...a rather unusual research project was published. Frankly, it has implications for a lot of us.

So these German scientist dudes....put six participants out in the middle of a wooded area...with no directions, no compass, and no map.

Then the German scientist dudes did the same thing to three participants in the Sahara Desert.

Each person in this testing group of nine had a GPS navigational system attached to them.

Then, the cherry on this whole test? The German scientists then blind-folded another 15 participants...making them wander freely in an empty field to find their way.

The results from this entire test? The Germans science guys say that humans are biologically programmed to double back when disoriented. It is a self-preservation block in a guy's mind....return to the starting point when all else fails.

So you have to sit there and ponder on this. There are hundreds of millions of people on this Earth, and they all apparently have this mechanism in their mind....to return back to the starting point if they get disorientated. How? This cannot be explained....at least not yet.

You have to wonder though....if the mind has additional fail-safe mechanisms? When reaching a significant stress point....does the mind then toss in a mechanism to chill? If you have a massive emotional point....can the mind crank up this total block to set the speed back down to a reasonable state? This begs alot of different questions....which can't be answered.

Vicki and Ted

Once upon a time, in a land called Massachusetts...there was a senator who was on the verge of becoming president. And in those days, the mighty state house discussed what would happen if a Democratic senator left and a Republican governor had to appoint a new senator.

Woe be unto the Massachusetts public should such a scenario should occur. So the mighty state house wrote a rule and quickly passed it. In the wisdom of those standing....if any senator should vacate for any reason...then a special election would occur after 145 days in the state. The governor would not select a refill...for any reason.

So now...a time has passed...and things are different.

Now we have a dying senator....Ted Kennedy who is requesting via the Massachusetts lawmakers a change in the state law. He believes it cannot be possible that the state would be without proper representation for five months...while waiting for this new senator. So less than a decade later after the first law....he wants a change. He wants the current Democratic governor to pick the replacement...quickly.

Naturally, Senator Ted has his replacement's name in mind....Vicki....his wife.

Two decades ago...this would have been a guaranteed thing, and Vicki would have stepped right into the deal...no argument. Various Democratic factions in Massachusetts today...don't want Vicki. In fact, at least one other Kennedy family member is thought to be in the top five runners at this point.

Vicki's problem here? The poll numbers have come back and Ted has reflected over them...Vicki can't campaign well enough to win. She's a lousy sell. She can't give a four-star speech. And a fair number of folks in Massachusetts think it's time for an end to the Kennedy ownership of the senate seat.

My impression is that Senator Ted will be no more by the end of this year. Vicki will quickly assemble a campaign team and try to get "big-money" to make a 4-star run. "Remember Ted" will be the theme. She won't win. And then folks will start to name bridges after Ted, in his memory....and life will go on.