Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Jacky's Truck

My dad is legendary for holding onto trucks for a long time. Naturally, there comes a time where some minor repairs are necessary....and his 1986 Ford is finally in the shop for such a repair.

The thing about it is...a couple of years ago....he finally acquired the five-star border collie....Jacky. This dog is likely the smartest Bama dog that has ever lived. And the dog has gotten awful addicted to the previous truck....which has now gone onto truck heaven. Now....the dog is adapting to the 1986 Ford truck. The passenger seat....as far as she is concerned....is her seat. So this period with the truck in the shop....is a bit disturbing for her.

She's not happy to give up her truck or her reserved seat area for anyone...for any reason. A border collie has a natural tendency to repeat habits....a thousand times over. You could say the dog has a problem.....but it's likely....if the dog could talk....she'd suggest that you were the one with the problem. As far as she is concerned....it's her truck.

The Root of All Evil

So there is a grand idea being put forward now....a war tax.

The idea is that this would put an end to paying for the war with borrowed money by instating a temporary war surtax.

The basics of this tax....it'd start up around 2011....and it'd amount to a 1 percent surtax o taxpayers earning less than $150000 a year. It'd be a higher amount for richer folks.

I added up my portion....roughly $75 to $100 per year.

For about a minute....I contemplated the plus side of this and maybe gave it some pondering....but then....I asked myself...if there was a hurricane in New Orleans tomorrow....why not start a "rebuild New Orleans tax" under the same umbrella?

Then when fires erupt in California....couldn't we start a "fire tax" to help fix all those poor folks out there?

Then when bridges collapse in Minnesota....we could start up a "Minnesota bridge tax" to put a new bridge up?

Then when newspapers fail in Boston....we could start a "Boston Newspaper plus-up tax" to help the paper fail for its stupidity?

Heck, we could even run the entire nation...with these fancy taxes like this...and just forget about income tax entirely.

But why stop?

I noticed that alot of political fools from both parties appear a good bit on CNN, Fox, ABC, CBS, and NBC....why can't we make them pay the political dimwit and then recover the money for America's revenue bucket? Why can't CNN pay Nancy Pelosi $4k each time she appears for four questions, and then retain the money for revenue collection?

We could even start a tax for folks who want to vote...say $35 for one simple registration and vote. If you want to vote twice....fine...toss in another $75 for the second vote....and for the third vote...maybe $300. We could make even more money via this scheme. Or am I suggesting something just too radical for you folks?

$1209

So the climate conference is opening in Denmark....and there's a special feature to this episode...involving Al Gore is a honored guest:

"Tickets are available in different price ranges for the event. If you want it all, you can purchase a VIP ticket, where you get a chance to shake hands with Al Gore, get a copy of Our Choice and have your picture taken with him. The VIP event costs DKK 5,999 and includes drinks and a light snack."


Now....I sat there for two minutes thinking about this. This is the Danish tourism office who is arranging this.

First, I'm from Bama....unless this was Paris Hilton, Tammy Wynette or Rascal Flatts....then paying a lousy $1209....to shake Al's hand just ain't worth it.

Second...then they tossed in drinks. I started to think...maybe this means a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon as you enter the place.....but still.....$1209....to shake Al's hand and get a case of Pabst....just ain't going to work either.

So finally.....I considered the option of a light snack added. Are we talking about goat stew, a big plate of catfish or forty pounds of salted peanuts....with the Pabst and Al's handshake?

$1209 is a fair amount of money. Then you toss it into some Danish guy's hands....to meet Al and get your picture taken with him?

Then it hit me.....you could take the $1209, rent a pretty good hotel room in Copenhagen for five days....eat pretty fair.....drink a bit of beer (no real booze).....and maybe meet some hot Danish gals. Now, that would make it worth $1209.

So....out there somewhere tonight....some guy is likely sitting in Knoxville.....with a bunch of money burning a hole in his pocket and seeing this opportunity to meet Al Gore. So he's calling up Delta....getting up arrangements for Copenhagen....and getting his $1209 put down for Al's handshake. The thing is......if only this idiot's wife knew what the hell he was planning...she'd put a stop to this foolishness.