Tuesday, 8 December 2009

A Day of Tiger

After this weekend....at least ten women now claim to have had an “event” with Tiger Woods. Amongst this group....a adult movie actress (we call it something else in Bama), and a pancake house waitress. So far, no female employees of Wal-Mart have been noted....nor any female political figures....nor Katie Couric....although I’m waiting in anticipation that the numbers will approach fifty by the end of the month.

Adding to the circus affair...is the mother-in-law (from Sweden)....who came to "rescue" her daughter in some fashion...but like some typical European with no guts for this pressure pot....she's now got serious stomach problems and got picked up by the ambulance yesterday morning around 2AM.

My gut feeling is that the wife finally packs up next week and flys back to Sweden. She won't spend Christmas there. I don't think she will come back except for court appearances.

The Tiger? I think you are looking at a guy who is going to hold up in the house or his private yacht for the next six months...quietly sitting there. He won't golf and he won't appear in public.

Face it, you've been caught with your cookies in the cookie jar....and nothing much is going clean up this mess. The number of women will only increase in nature. It's not a pretty picture.

Iran & the Mythical Imam

In the Muslim religion, there is this mythical Imam of sorts…..Mahdi….who basically is supposed to save mankind (at least the Muslims believe this). Every Imam of any renown fame always brings a crowd to standing and applause when he talks up Mahdi.

So this week….President of Iran….Ammi-dang-dingo (Mahmoud Ahmadinejad) announced that he now has evidence that the US is attempting to halt the return of mankind's savior….Mahdi. Naturally, this new Mahdi who would be returning….if only the US would allow him to return….would come to Iran and help “his folks”. It’s a pretty story which a fair number of devote folks would believe.

So if you were the evil US looking at this….you’d typically try to discount or disprove this….or just laugh it off. I sat and pondered on this….and basically came to realize the best way of countering Ammi-dang-dingo….is to admit “yes, we’ve got the mythical Imam….Mahdi”.

You then put out various reports….pictures included….of some guy in a darken cell….held against his will. Make it a gutsy situation….he’s holding fast….repeating word by word of the Koran…..showing resolve and strength in his determination to match the US evil guys.

Then at the key point….have some mythical team of rescue folks show up….probably from Syria…storm the US holding cell….and rescue the mythical Imam. Fly him to a hero’s welcome in Iran….and then force Ammi-dang-dingo into a meeting with him where the Iranian leader is stuck having to accept this “pretender”.

As days go by….our pretender Imam would get inside the Iranian system and then announce massive changes to take place (free ice cream for everyone, reduced taxes, and the firing of Ammi-dang-dingo).

At this point….the Iranian President would regret ever coming up with this stupid Mahdi-story.

The Velvet Dudes

It is a strange new world that we live in. A liberal group of sorts....with money....called Velvet Revolution....has put up a $200k reward for information to arrest and convict Chamber of Commerce CEO Tom Donohue.

Yes, more or less....a bounty has been put on Tom’s head.

The reasoning here? Well....the Velvet dudes think that Tom and the Chamber of Commerce folks are a threat to the administration and the Democrats.

Tom’s reaction so far? He hasn’t said much of anything. I think he’s mostly grinning ear to ear....$200k to identify some crime in his past? He’s probably worrying that his wife might jump in and tell how he paid some illegal aliens to paint his garage, or how he accidentally set fire to the neighbor’s property when he was burning some leaves.

The curious thing to me....is how a tax-free association...like the Velvet Revolution....can stand up and offer a bounty like this....and still be tax-free.

It would seem like that they’ve got tons of money....being a tax-free association....and then you’d be curious where that money came from. Naturally, the Velvet dudes aren’t going to chat up about how things like this occur...it’d spoil their mighty momentum.

The more I thought about this....the more curious this idea becomes. Why not just let the US government keep a revolving $100k reward out there to catch anyone with information to arrest on and convict....anyone. We could arrest congressmen, senators, state troopers, wives, grocery clerks, and even school bus drivers.

Everyone would be on the lookout for trouble and immediately call the cops anytime they felt a crime occurred. The $100k? It’d make everyone curious to report everything.