Monday, 21 December 2009

The Shed

Long ago....before Lady Gaga, Madonna or Jimmy Carter....my dad put up a shed, and put up a coffee can of nuts and bolts. That was then, and this is now.

This shed has become a mecca of sorts....with every imaginative screw, bolt, nut, and nail that you could possibly dream up.

At various times...an effort to organize was undertaken and showed remarkable results.....to be pushed back months later with an acquisition of another 200 pounds of nuts and bolts, or a case of axle grease, or a box of unique screws from Mexico that have a funny smell about them but you really don't want to ask what it is.

There ought to be a scientific principal about items stored per square foot to cover a shed area like this....but there isn't.

When I do visit.....I'll step into this shed area.....and stand there for a minute or two....just gazing. I usually stand there and think about the effort to acquire this collection.....week by week....month by month.....year by year. It's not a planned effort....nor would you ever want to design a area like this with a real flowchart or functional diagram.

There really isn't an end to this.....my dad would simply add another extension onto the shed, if required. That's what makes this interesting.....the never-ending-shed. As long as nuts and bolts exist...this collection will simply continue to grow.

Our Bama Bob

Alabama always have interesting governors. Some are nuts. Some are corrupt. Some are wannabe governors. And then you have Governor Bob Riley...the current governor.

Bob leaves office in January 2011. Someone got around this past week.....asking Bob what the heck he was going to do after that...and his wife did the talking.

She indicated that Bob was taking some time off before heading off to the family farm in Clay county....and he is using that time to ride a Harley from Bama to Alaska.

I paused there...pondering this adventure.

To be honest...almost every guy from Bama has this dream....traveling from Bama to Washington, and then on up to Alaska. We will sip beer and chat with VFW hall buddies over this fantasy. We will talk with guys at the water cooler over the best route to make it up there. And we'll ever plot this out on Google maps...with stops in Vegas, Death Valley, and the Grand Canyon.

We will calculate the Pabst Blue Ribbon required....the number of clean pairs of underwear to bring along.....and the method of return (always a airline ticket).

The truth is that this fantasy will last a while until we figure out you have to sit on a bike for the whole trip....and how sore our butt will be by the fifth day (somewhere in Utah). Everyday tends to be one hour less...as we get sore, worn out and sunburned.

Will Bob make it the whole way? I have doubts. For a 65 year old guy....this isn't a simple 12 hour ride. You have to cross either Utah, New Mexico or the plains states....and it'll be a harsh and hot environment. If this were a pick-up truck...I'd say a one-hundred percent chance of finishing this expedition. But by cycle? I just can't bet on this episode.

Science and Vodka


There are alot of smart guys out there....begging for research projects that might be of real value....certainly not the ones that tell you the number of M&M's in each bag, or the report that gives the 300 reasons why NASCAR is a great sport, or the report that details why big-boobed women get stared at more than small-boobed women. So this past week....some guys from Brown University came with their report.

Basically, the boys have proven that bourbon give drinkers more of a severe hangover....than vodka.

So I paused here...with curiosity of how this could be. The boys say that bourbon contains 37 times more toxic compounds than vodka does. Naturally, I've never counted toxic compounds....in vodka, bourbon, wine, or beer. So this interested me. These are negative compounds of sorts...at the boys say this....organic of course...not unnatural....consisting of acetone, acetaldehyde, tannins and furfural.

So the logic here....for liquors...is that the more clear a liquor....the better off you are.

This was the one-sentence bit of logic that I needed. I didn't care about the other 44 pages of details...which just confuse me more than help.

Of course, there is always the science statement which derails the whole result of the experiment....that both bourbon and vodka perform the same amount of impairment. So you don't gain or lose with either...thank goodness.

So as you pause on Saturday night in Bama....in a dry county....preparing for Baptist church in the morning....and you really need a stout bit of booze for the evening....consider using vodka...because the hangover will be less in the morning and you won't t fall asleep during church services.