Tuesday, 9 February 2010

The Worm Diet

About two years ago...I was watching a medical drama (it might have been House, but I won't swear by it), and at some point...this really sick dude who was losing weight constantly....came to be diagnosed with a internal parasite (Ascaris worms). Luckily, the TV doctor dude saved the guy.

I sat there afterwards...thinking about this parasite. They grow up to fifteen inches...inside your intestines...and lay up to 200,000 eggs a day inside your body. The worms eat...so yeah...you do lose weight...but this is a potentially fatal idea if you wanted to dump weight easily....without running, walking or measuring calories. One of the big negatives here...is that the worms like to enter other parts of your body...like your lungs. So you are gambling on something with lots of risks.

So I sat there, and I pondered how soon it would be...before some idiots would come up and use these parasites as a regular weight control program? Today, we found out.

Folks in Hong Kong are now doing this...gulping down a parasitic worm....and going for weight loss the easy way.

Limited to Hong Kong? I'd be betting against you. If they are doing it there...then they are doing it in China. And the odds are that some folks in the US are also using this in some fashion to lose weight.

The thing about this is that you are creating your own case of malnutrition....plus adding vomiting and diarrhea to your daily list of problems....and likely having alot of abdominal pain that you just grit your teeth against.

I suspect in a year or two...we will have some special technicians out in Vegas soon...who regularly treat some dimwits with the "worm method" and we'll have to create a US federal law to prevent this from being acceptable (because people are that stupid). At that point, some Vegas doctor will move across the border to Mexico...claim the worms are a great tool...and bring busloads of Texans across the border to get "wormed". CBS will have a 60-minute crew talking down on "worming" and eventually we will ask ourselves what idiot would swallow parasites to lose weight?

Then some guy from Bama will write a book called "The 44-Pound Worm Diet"....citing massive weight loss but never showing a before and after picture of himself. The book makes him millions before everyone wakes up and realizes he never lost a single pound via the worms, and the whole book was a hoax.

When Excess News Gets to be a Problem

Down in Bama....if you tune into the 6PM hour....you can't go twelve minutes without a local car franchise advertisement....Ford, Chevy, Chrysler, Honda, Toyota, Nissan, etc. The last time I visited my dad....I sat and watched around fifteen advertisements in one hour for three different car brands or dealers.

Over the past month here in Arlington....I've come to notice the same thing. At the peak hour for local programming, there's a lot of car advertisements.

So yesterday....Toyota finally woke up and realized the extreme slant of ABC news over the past ten days with their brake and gas pedal issues. ABC has gone way out....to dump on Toyota.....probably more than they ever did with Ford or Chrysler in similar circumstances. So across the nation, the dealers are pulling local advertising from their ABC stations.

These local ABC station managers are standing there......with big openings throughout the next month where planned ad's were penned in with Toyota. Furious? I'm guessing there was a friendly phone call from each and every station manager to the network....and blunt problems laid out. You will see an absolute "drop" in all mentions of Toyota with ABC news by tonight. They probably won't even mention positive news when it does happen.

In six months....Toyota will eventually come back to ABC stations....but in the meantime, it's a great moment for the other three channels in each community. They've got more Toyota money coming their way and can kick off the Veg-a-matic guy and the Hulk-Snow-Shovel guy from the 6PM hour.

The Dog Days of Blizzard

It's been five days since snow started and became an episode here in the DC region. I came to realize yesterday....after getting out of the apartment....how things have changed.

The snow crews have moved mountains of snow, but it's probably no more than forty percent of what needed to be moved. Along the streets, you've got five foot piles of snow sitting there.....and it might take three weeks for it to truly melt and disappear.

There are folks still here from Friday, who had plans to exit the city by air travel. We've gotten to a point now that folks are having friends, relatives or shuttles drive them to other cities like New York or even Pittsburgh....to go out via another airport.

Mail? Well....nothing's been delivered to my place since Thursday afternoon. The postal guys have been off since then. There is a mountain of mail and packages sitting out there....waiting for a break in the snow episode.

Grocery shelves? They've started to restock yesterday, but with the new storm hitting by mid-afternoon today....folks are set back a step again. The key thing here is frozen pizza and beer....as long as they stock those fully....we can survive.

Garbage pick-up? People were commenting about that yesterday. The dumpsters and cans are kinda snowed in and no one has seen a garbage truck since Thursday of last week.

And finally, we are all getting cabin fever. I don't mind three-day weekends....they are enjoyable. But we are working on a five-day weekend now, and it just might go all the way through Friday....with an entire week off.

So that's sad woeful tale of DC.