Life-Skills

My dad...into his seventies...is still this guy with 120-odd life-skills.

If they had dropped him into Italy in 1944...he would have convinced Italy to give up pizza and adapt to homemade sausage and biscuits.

He's the guy that probably go by himself and take just three border collies to herd up 2,000 head of cattle from Huntsville to Mobile.

He buys old farm equipment...like hay haulers...in terrible rusted out shape. He'll use the steel-wool brush to take off the rust and then spend hours painting it back into a semi-original color. He'll toss on new tires and suddenly this hay hauler from 1971 is looking almost original, and ready to sell. Folks will drive five hundred miles to pick up farm implements like this.

My brother noted last night's episode to me today. My dad got a call from a local farmer who had a cow about to give birth...and it just wasn't going to work well for the cow. Vet's tend to have a quick hand of just saying it's a mess and offer to put the cow to sleep or charge you $200 to come out to your place like this.

My dad....in his seventies...probably would like to turn down things like this...but rarely ever does. So he agreed and went off into the darkness to this farm and to help attend to this cow.

My brother wrote a five-star piece on the description of the situation. It's not the kind of atmosphere that folks would want to be in...day or night. There's a judgement call...by folks who haven't attended veterinary school or attended a college lecture on cows. And then work commences.

Pop tried a little to beg out, but then got all his tools and went over. Charlois cow, with a calf turned around in her. They had her in a head catch (mistake) and it was a bad job, but they got the calf out. Seemed dead, and the screwed around with it a lot, putting the fescue straw in its nose, rubbing the body, and he spat out mucus and was coming to. Then, they got Pop's light (homemade headlight in a little box made out of wall paneling, with a cord to clip to the truck battery), and put it back on the cow, and she'd prolapsed. Awful task to get into there. So, they set in on that and the head-catched position was the worst for her to be in, with her down on her chest...too big to move, also. Using a board to hold positions at rest points, they went and went at it, and finally got all back in. Then Gary's daddy-in-law didn't have the hog rings and pliers where he could find them. So, Pop drove home, drove back, and they held the board in his absence, and then they hog ringed her up just in time for her to die. Probably was asphyxiated by being down in the head catch, Pop thought. He'd made that mistake before. But, then, too, if I had a dollar for every time we got a prolapsed put in just in time to hear the breathing stop, I'd have a handful of dollars. Fate likes a struggle. But, then, they turned around and the calf was up and running around. So, one saved.

By the end of this episode....the cow had passed on...but the calf had been saved. Judgement calls...which you tend to overlook in life.

My dad drove home in the darkness with blood all over his clothing. If the cops had stopped him...they probably would have never believed his story. He got into the house late....almost 11:30...showered up...and went to sleep. I'm guessing by 5AM....he was up and sipping coffee.

It's a lifestyle thing. Compensation? No....he pretty much does this for absolutely nothing...other than helping a neighbor. It's this attitude that you rarely find anymore. When folks ask for an impossible bit of help....he just won't refuse them.

At some point, these guys walking around with 120-odd life-style abilities are going to pass, and the best we can muster after that will be guys with 80-odd life-style abilities. A generation is passing and we end up losing something of greatness that we all grew up with.

Pausing over Jordan Romero

There are several news groups putting big stories over 13-year old Jordan Romero today. This is the kid who climbed Mount Everest. He has a web site and he's been talking to just about every news commenter possible to say that kids need to go out and achieve things in life. He wants himself to be the example here.

I paused looking over this kid....and I remembered this other kid....Jessica Dubroff.

This was the seven-year old kid....who was working in 1996 on being the youngest to fly across the United States.

In April of 1996....Jessica Dubroff took off and at some point in this highly advertised flight....the plane crashed....both she and the instructor onboard died.

It's a funny thing what happened over the next two weeks. Alot of people sat there and asked why did some idiot allow a seven-year old kid to attempt this feat? Why did her parents allow it?

After two weeks....virtually all of the networks collapsed on this story. The public really didn't want to hear anymore....they were pretty sick over the entire attempt and the result.

This Jordan Romero kid?

Well....by next summer....there will be some 11-year old kid who will attempt the climb on Mount Everest. Maybe he'll make it....if he's lucky.

Then some 10-year old kid will attempt it.....and maybe he'll make it.

At some point....some kid is going to die. And a bunch of folks will ask how did we get into this stupid act of kid challenge? And the answer? Well.....we made a big deal about Jordan Romero.

Just my two cents.

Numbers Times Numbers

Ok, to make this short and simple.....a Census worker came out and admitted that they'd been hired, then fired, then hired, then fired. There's a couple of other guys who've said virtually the same thing. No one is quiet sure to make out of this....except they think we aren't talking about dozens....but thousands.

So imagine this scenario. You have a group of forty Census folks. On Monday, you hire them and inprocess them (an hour of paperwork). After two weeks....on Friday....you let them go (outprocess them). Then the following Monday, you rehire them. Over and over. For two months.

Your hiring numbers? Well....you hired 160 new folks....at least you report that to the government office that does statistics. But the truth is that you really only hired forty.

Imagine now....that a hundred offices do the same trick.....so you have 16,000 new hires over two months. But the truth is.....you really only hired 4,000 folks.

Then you go National. We won't even discuss the numbers anymore.

Man, your employment numbers for April, May, June, and July look damn good. But it's just not true.

I sat and pondered over this. Why limit this to the Census folks? Why not use the post office, firemen, and cops in the same game?

We could hire forty million government employees each month.....and keep repeating this every single month. By the end of the year, we'd be the greatest hiring nation on the face of the Earth.

The only problem? We'd still have fifteen percent unemployment, and folks scratching their heads over why the numbers look so good.....but why is everyone unemployed?

This is kinda like wiping your butt with only one sheet of toilet paper and refolding each time to do the second, third, and fourth wipe. At some point, something makes no sense in this process other than telling your wife that you accomplished something unique today and her asking what that funny smell is.

An Invisible Boss?

"We are in charge, but BP is responsible."

It's a White House quote today....and we aren't quiet sure who really said it. It's supposed to reassure folks, but I'm guessing that lasts about three minutes before you open a beer and try to forget the quote.

BP hass likely got every single lobbyist in a corner and trying to get the payoffs here lined up. It's a campaign year....so if you enough folks...then they just don't say much.

Who's actually in charge? I wouldn't worry about it. If anyone were in charge...they'd actually be in Louisiana and doing things daily related to the mess. That's not happening...so we are pretty much running on automatic.

Real or Bogus

I realize stories like this are difficult for Bama folks to grasp....but bear with me. Over the past month....the National Enquirer folks and others have been talking about the marriage of Today Show host Matt Lauer going down the tubes. Matt was supposedly having a big affair and got caught. NBC executives were scared. Today Show dimwits were scared. And even soccer mom's from Tulsa were scared.

Today....we learn that the supposed 'lady' involved with Matt...has an angle this this. The 'lady'? Alexis Houston. She's supposed to be the cousin of Whitney Houston. Alexis held a press conference last week to deny she ever had sex with Matt Lauer. Could she have have 'Bill Clinton-sex' with Matt? Well....she didn't say much else....so you have to wonder if they were simply doing 'Bill Clinton-sex'.

But then there's some problems with this story. Alexis....you see...is not Whitney Houston's cousin. This is fairly documented....I even checked on this. Alexis may say that she is a cousin....but she's not a real cousin.

Then, we have this last problem....Alexis....used to be a guy. Yeah...some kind of transexual thing. So Alexis looks like a woman but she's really got manly tools....if you understand what I mean.

So I realize this is difficult and you are trying to imagine Matt and this woman-man in some kinky situation, but it's a bogus fantasy that you are dreaming up.

Should you explain this to Aunt Francis and Grandma? Well....it might be difficult. And they are likely looking at Matt each morning and talking about their prayers for him to recover from this poor misfortune event...and hopefully get back with his wife. If you did explain the manly woman side of this....it might be difficult for them to grasp.

So you are left with the trigger to this entire story. Karl Rove? Katie Couric? Glen Beck? Who would have dreamed up such a story associating Matt Lauer with a manly woman and being caught? Or....did Matt start the story himself....just to get more attention?

So that's the story about Matt Lauer and the kinky sex bogus story and divorce.

Our Joe

Sometimes....VP Joe Biden will say something stupid and something brilliant at the same time. This is a plus-minus thing....which you have to appreciate.

Yesterday...Joe came out to mingle at a bar-b-q at Walter Reed Hospital with wounded GI's. Personally....if you offered a free beer and a plate of ribs...I doubt the guy would ever turn down the deal.

So some GI brought up the Connecticut problem with the wannabe Vietnam vet Blumenthal....who is running for senator there.

Joe quickly spoke up: "I didn't serve in Vietnam. I don't want to make a Blumenthal mistake here. Our attorney general from Connecticut, God love him." Later...Joe wanted to add a cherry on his previous comment....and said...."I have a bad habit of saying exactly what I think."

I'm thinking Joe had a good afternoon....a couple of beers....shook some hands....and probably met a couple hundred folks.

Gas Talk

A moment of oil discussion. If you kinda notice the Gulf of Mexico problem....the odds now of drilling being prevented or downsized in the Gulf? Better than fifty percent. Comments yesterday that Arctic drilling will be hindered or stopped by the administration? Yeah....it's pretty much a guaranteed thing now.

Wanna take a guess on gas prices by October? Start betting on fifty cents more....as a minimum. By November 2012's election....I would imagine we are discussing a $1 over what you pay today for each gallon.

Empty Fifty Pound Bag of Nothing

Well...I guess I spoke too soon.

Today...the State Department stood up and said the vast 1,200 National Guard troops ordered deployed to the border of the US...have nothing to do with enforcing the protection of the border or preventing illegal aliens from crossing.

Apparently, their sole purpose is to stop guns from going to Mexico and drugs coming to the US....and thats all.

How will they be able to identify people crossing the border are drug carriers and not just illegals crossing? Hmmm....that would be a curious question, but obviously it won't be answered by anyone in the administration.

How does the border patrol prioritize their business now? Drug carriers ahead of gun dealers ahead of illegals crossing? How do the National Guard guys relate to this whole mess?

Its best not to ask.