Wednesday, 14 July 2010

My Little DC World and METRO

One of the things I missed while gone from DC over the past week.....was this METRO bus being stolen. From time to time....most of you know that I'll mention the METRO...in a fairly negative context. They are the comedians of public transportation....doesn't matter if it's buses or trains.

Last Friday....some kid....nineteen years old apparently....walked through the METRO bus parking lot with a uniform on but he wasn't a driver. Don't ask where he got it but he apparently had personality issues and admitted to some depression problems.

No guard at the shack out front...so he just kept walking and ended up stealing a bus....and then actually ran a route for like thirty minutes...picking up folks....before smashing into a tree. He kept on driving but eventually got pulled over by the cops.

Well....at the end of this mess....as the cops got his relatives to come and get him....the kid kinda admitted that he was bored and frustrated but this experience, with the METRO bus and such, has changed him greatly. He made a statement that he felt closer to God after this entire episode.

I sat and pondered this a while....being from Bama. The truth is....about seventy percent of the guys in Bama....if you came up and offered us all bus driver or truck driver jobs tomorrow....would pack up and go. It'd be like a sign from God, and we'd probably say the same thing as this kid.....that we felt closer to God after the experience.

So here in the end....maybe the kid learned something. As for METRO? Well....there's two uniformed cops now at the bus yard....who just stand there now and wonder what the heck they are protecting and discussing the finer things of life like gravy over biscuits, the best donuts in DC, and why Budweiser is the king of beer.

Thats life in DC.....from my humble prospective.

The Holiday Story

Eventually, I kinda figured it would occur...it was just a question of where.

This past month....folks around in New York area....of the Islamic religion...stated this petition of sorts to add two Islamic holidays to the local New York City public school calendar.

The holidays? Eid Ul-Fitr (the end of Ramadan) and Eid Ul-Adha (the end of the Hajj).

So far...you can't find any real politicians who will say in public that this is a wise idea that they can support. The public sentiment? Well...you can't really find any other groups who are standing up to suggest another holiday. The hint is that if this did eventually occur...they'd have to subtract a current holiday or two.

The problem is that various religious groups throughout America....could eventually come up and demand to add their own holiday. Heck, maybe even the Scientology guys would put L Ron's birthday up as a national holiday and then what?

So settle back and simply watch as this unfolds.

California in Once Upon A Time

How did California get so screwed up? Well...here is the simplistic explanation. And it is a make-believe and fictional account of how the system works.

Randy barely graduated from high school in 1972. His uncle helped him get a job with the city parks organization of a small town in California. His take-home pay? $9k a year.

Randy got to know his boss well and eventually moved up in 1976 to a cushy assistant manager job in the parks department that paid $15k a year.

Randy met a guy via the county parks commission that helped him in 1979 move up to another job which paid $24k a year.

Randy takes a few night classes in 1980 to get a certificate in financial planning. By the summer of 1982, he's offered a promotion to a $32k a year job in the parks finance department.

Randy meets Bob the local young political guy from the county. Randy helps to arrange a deal to benefit Bob's friend who runs a asphalt company. The parks department paves six parking lots around the city in support of better parks and recreation. Bob gets a $8k pay-raise for Randy in 1984 (he's making $40k a year now.

The county starts acting on an idea of giving a 3 percent payraise each year by 1985. Workers are happy now....especially Randy ($1,200 more that year for Randy).

Another special pay-raise is given to Randy in 1986 for more help in redoing tennis courts around the city (he's making $48k).

By 1989, Randy is making $54k a year with pay-raises of three percent in effect.

Old Karl, the city chief of parks and recreation retires in 1991 and Randy is offered his job at the age 37. He negotiates with the city bosses over the new pay deal and finally gets offered $68k a year.

A year later (1992), Randy gets the three percent pay-raise and a special out-of-cycle five-percent pay-raise (roughly $4,500 added....so he's up to $72.5k a year now).

Around 1995, Randy is offered this swell county-level job as their number two boss...which pays $84k a year. He accepts.

By 1999...just four years into the job and getting three-percent pay-raises each year, with two out-of-cycle pay-raises as well....Randy is now making $95k. He goes to the Bahamas that year and buys a British Land Cruiser.

In 2002, Randy is offered the chief of county parks and recreation job...at $128k a year. He accepts.

In 2003, with the three percent pay-raise and a special out-of-cycle pay-raise....he's now given a $137k pay situation.

In 2004....Randy is offered a state-level job in parks and recreation as the number three guy in the entire state. His incentive? $162k a year. He naturally accepts. Twelve months later...with a three percent payraise and another out-of-cycle payraise...he's now up to $178k a year now. He takes a three week cruise over the south Pacific to celebrate this achievement.

In 2007...Randy is moved up to number two in the state parks and recreation situation at age 53. He's now making $209k. Twelve months later, with a three-percent payraise and another out-of-cycle raise...he's now making $224k. Oh, and the state authorized a leased car for Randy (a nice $52k Mercedes).

In 2009, as the house-market collapses in California...Randy's $1.4 million house is now revalued at around $820k. Luckily, his pay is now $232k as the number two guy. He's scheduled to move up to number one of the state parks and recreation. We won't talk about salary but its pretty hefty.

So now multiply Randy by 10,000 and look around the state at a bunch of managers who all make $100k or more....and they are getting older.

Randy can retire in three years, and likely collect at least $195k a year from the state. Randy could move to Mississippi and buy a mansion by the age of 56 and live the rich life dream.

Only in America....could a guy working at parks and recreation...mowing turf around the outfield...dream of making $200k a year in retirement.

So if I had any advice for you punks out there who are seventeen and aspire in life...move to California and get into parks and recreation. Dream like Randy...and maybe one day...you will be pulling in $750k a year as the chief of some city's parks department.

A Guy, and His Wives

Tonight, there's a new radical group out Saudi Arabia who've taken to the streets over their political agenda....polygamy for the common Saudi working man.

Yep...it's been a long time coming but some young Saudi gentlemen are finally pushing an initiative that could finally change the face of Saudi Arabia.

They've even dreamed up a great campaign slogan (“Prophet of Four”) which relates straight back to their concept of a guy having up to four wives.

There are several observations about this. First, if you had to pick a country where local initiatives tend to have zero potential because the king dictates everything...this is the place. You could start an initiative to make liquid laxative the national drink, and it has zero potential there in Saudi Arabia.

Second....you gotta be able to afford four wives...and while the ultimate older guy in his fifties might have that potential...I think the typical Saudi guy who is thirty probably can't afford four wives.

Third....so after you get four wives...will your life get any better? My guess...no.

Fourth and final...if these guys ever fired up their knowledge on statistics...they might come to realize that numbers-wise...it's virtually impossible to come up with enough Saudi women to make this dream happen for every guy. Then you start to think about the idea of bringing in women from a vast number of countries to make this dream work. Thats when trouble will start to arise as some of these foreign women won't put up with stupid behavior, and then the whole of Saudi society starts to fall apart because of too many wives.

Just my humble opinion.

The Big Hombre

The best quote of the day? Well...in an interview...Senator Harry Reid was posed this question....concerning the idea that illegal aliens are taking jobs away from construction workers in America.

Harry's response?

"I think that any information you have in that regard is absolutely without foundation. That may be someplace, but it is not here in Nevada."

So there, you have it...construction in Nevada is 100 percent American...pure and simple. So tonight...somewhere on the outskirts of Reno...under the desert sky...four illegal Latinos are finishing up a roofing job at a new grocery store going up and laughing over "the big hombre" and his comments.