Our Bama Gal

My brother sent me this story out of the Sand Mountain area of Bama.

The best we can see...is that the local city department had been using their tractor and parked over near some carwash in town (Sumiton, if you wanted to know this), and then it up and went missing.

Someone apparently then asked around and referred things to some gal, Tiffany (we won't mention her entire name because it just isn't the gentlemanly thing to do in dragging a good ladies name in the dirt).

The cops then were on the chase for this gal, who would be later charged with first-degree tractor theft (a serious crime in Bama under any circumstance).

Witnesses alerted the cops to the fact that Tiffany was neatly and lustily dressed in a swimsuit of some type....left mostly to our imagination....as she swung out on highway 78 or Old Warrior Road (depending your view of highway naming).

The cops actually found Tiffany at her home, and she collapsed during heavy interrogation (probably three to five questions), and was prepared to point out the location of this tractor in question (somewhere on Brickyard Road).

Tractor stealing is a fairly serious crime in Bama. I'm guessing the cops will give the case over to the county DA, and Tiffany could be looking at two years in prison. If she were to fess real quick and admit alcohol or pills impaired her judgement, that she'd been a Baptist member for a while, or donated some money over to the Democratic Party of the state....she might get off with just four months in the county jail....just my humble guess.

The thing about this...is that it's likely trigger a severe emotional toll on Bama guys as they imagine this lusty gal in a swimsuit....maybe one of them Florida styles that make a guy weep.....riding a tractor.

I noticed throughout this story that they intentionally left the manufacturer of the tractor out of the story...so it's not a noted Massey Ferguson or John Deere. A bikini-clad gal on a John Deere would tear the heart out of most Bama guys.

So deep in the heart of Bama, Tiffany is out on bail (my guess) and taking a phonecall or two from local guys who'd be wondering if she was available on Friday night. The thing is that fall is quickly approaching and this bikini thing has a limit approaching. By mid-October, it'll be too late in the season to think much about this, and we will have all sunk into NCAA football by that point.

In My Neck of the Woods

From my neck of the woods here in Arlington...we have an interesting episode about to unfold. The Pentagon leadership decided a couple of years ago to consolidate and move some folks out of the beltway. It was making sense in terms of getting folks further away from the traffic mess getting to work, and it'd be a fresh new building to house this consolidated group.

This grand building was designed as part of this consolidation effort. It's in south Arlington....along the interstate of I-395, bumping up against Alexandra. It's a huge complex to fit 6500 workers.

When all this started...it made some sense to put the massive complex right along the interstate. The curious thing is that there's no METRO station anywhere near this, so you'd have to travel by bus to hit a METRO station. But this sort of negative in the planning process...didn't really matter.

Well...studies are now starting to add up. Just a couple of thousand cars off the interstate and anywhere near the building....could add up and recreate the exact same problem that already exists in the beltway area now.

For some folks, this could possibly, if you believe one or two of these special stuides....add two hours onto your drive.

So there's meetings being conducted. Folks are kinda agreeing that building along the interstate now has zero advantages. It is kinda late to admit this...the building is pretty much in the final months of being worked on.

A possible fix? No, there's literally nothing you can add to it at this point that might fix this up. Planning like this in the 1990s was acceptable and you'd just smile as you added thirty minutes onto a guy's route because of the location. In the last five years, folks have really began to tire on the drive into DC or Arlington. There's no real fix to this loss of time in people's lives.

"Enough is Enough"

"The most important thing we have to do right now is hold the line for the tax cuts for the millionaires and billionaires who, frankly, do not need the extra cash."

Words by Jared Bernstein, chief economic adviser to VP Biden.

I paused over them today. It is unsettling. Someone has made the decision over this fine line where enough is enough. They've established this position that we can hold down the fort by limiting what people make or what they profit from.

I tried to ponder over this. There's no Bible verse that fits for this except "waste-not, want-not". There's no Constitutional position that covers this. There's no bit of wisdom by Mr Warren Buffet from out in Omaha over this concept.

How would a guy come to think this? I've noted several comments from the White House over the past year where several folks have hinted "enough is enough". They grin or smile when they say it....so you sit there wondering if they even know what the phrase means. Most of these White House experts on finance come out of Harvard or Yale....so it makes you suspect that they all attended some class with a dopey drugged up professor back in the 1970s and just wrote that phrase down for a test later.

If you went to a breakfast cafe and asked ten regular folks about when "enough is enough"....they'd sit there a while whilst their pancakes turned a bit chilled, and then finally state they don't know much about this because they've never gotten to the "enough is enough" position.

If you stopped at the local VFW hall and asked some old retired GI's about this....most would say that "enough was enough" when they were in this foxhole in Nam for the fifth straight day and some other guy deserved to be sitting there, but no one else came to replace them.

If you stopped at some beauty salon and asked the kind ladies there about when "enough was enough", most would say when they had lost thirty pounds, gotten a new rich husband, and been out to Miami....and then they'd start laughing because that was some inside joke at the salon to start with.

If you stopped at some roadside watermelon stand and asked some kid running the place over when "enough was enough"....he'd likely answer when all the watermelons at the stand were sold. But then he'd hint that Uncle Lester had another truck coming up from Iuka and it'd mean another $80 for date-money if he sold that truck-load.

If you stopped some guy at church and asked him about when "enough was enough"....he'd likely say when the chariots of God arrived at the front door and unloaded forty cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon. He'd be grinning and making sure that the reverend wasn't anywhere near the conversation.

Somewhere out there....there's this unhinged professor from Harvard who likely taught this "enough is enough" class. He's probably still teaching at Harvard today, because he never got to the point where his pension was enough to make him happy....so at 75 years old....he'll just stay on until he drops dead.

"Enough is enough" works only if you are fairly dopey and not thinking much over the statement. After that, it's worthless.