Monday, 27 September 2010

Friendly Ambassador versus The Other Style

According to the news today....the UN promoted 58-year-old Malaysian astrophysicist Mazlan Othman as head of the U.N.'s Office for Outer Space Affairs.

Now, you would sit there and ask what exactly does this mean?

Well....she's there to handle and promote international cooperation in the peaceful uses of outer space.  And, she's also the person detailed out to meet up as the world ambassador to any aliens who might arrive and visit.

I kinda wondered over her qualifications but some professor came back in a news piece and said that she was just about the best person on the face of the Earth to act as the take-me-to-your-leader chief.

I paused over this and thought about this a while.

There are various scenarios which would play out here.  First, if the aliens met up in the US....all bets are off and President Obama would technically want to be the guy there.

But then you'd have various issues.  For example, if the aliens landed in Arizona....the Arizona governor (mostly hated by the President) would demand to be part of the welcome committee.

If the aliens landed in Bama, then the state governor of Bama, along with both Auburn and Alabama NCAA football coaches would also demand to be part of the committee, along with the state agricultural commissioner probably too.

I'm thinking these aliens don't really care much for a five-star meeting and would just land to meet Gus who owns the Dairy Dip on highway 56, and his cousin Marshall who failed the tenth grade twice.  Gus and Marshall would extend a handshake, and then start up a conversation.  The boys would eventually reach into the back of the pick-up and pull out a six-pack of Pabst to offer the aliens.  Then this long-winded conversation would start up about the route that the aliens took to get to Earth, and Marshall would ask if it'd been quicker to turn left at the Milky Way.  Then the boys would offer some beef jerkey and ask if the aliens had any preferences for NCAA football.  Later, they'd just shake hands and everyone would go on home.

Meanwhile, back in some bunker in New Mexico....these five actual alien guys are sitting there now and wondering why they didn't ask to meet the friendly UN ambassador instead of those stupid Air Force generals.  That line about free food and beer led to them being in the bunker and having to spend a fair amount of time listening to some idiots trying to interrogate them.

Life ought to be real simple, and for some reason, it just ain't that way.

On the Road Again

This is one of those stories that guy would tell at a general store or gas station where farmers would meet for a coffee in the morning.

Sometime last week, this guy named Matt (from Minnesota) went over to the bank and took out $1k.  Eventually in the day....he called up his wife and said he'd been kidnapped.  Matt said that two men had taken him and figured that they would bring him harm at some point.  He also said he was in Iowa....although the cops later traced the call and said he was actually in Wisconsin Dells, Wis.

A day or two later....the cops found his van over in Chicago's South Loop.  Matt wasn't anywhere there to be found.

Over the weekend....cops found Matt at a construction site in Vegas.  He appears to be ok but hasn't explained how he got to Vegas, and why he didn't call his wife right away when turned loose.

I'm guessing there are issues here best left unexplained.

The thing is....alot of guys would like to just take off and run off to five or six states over a week, and end up in Vegas.  If you went to any gentleman's bar or coffee shop....I'd bet that fifty percent of all guys would readily jump up and make up a story like this with just a little bit of encouragement, then take off for St Louis or Reno, or even Tulsa.

As for Matt now?  Well....I'll bet he claims that they drugged him and he doesn't remember much of anything.

Elsewhere in America...on some road to Iowa tonight....is some lady trucker with a smile on her face, and some fond memories of Matt and their seven days on the road.   It's best we not ask about what happened....you know.

New 2010 Dope

I sat and watched about 90 minutes of political chit-chat yesterday.  It culminated with twenty minutes of Christiane Amanpour on ABC.

At some point during Christiane's show.....it finally hit.  The reality of 2010.  Here they were, with "experts", discussing the 2010 senator races and sticking almost exclusively with the Tea movement candidates and questioning their credentials.  Then I asked myself, what's different in this picture?

Over the past forty years....in every single election year....we never came around to discussing state-by-state senator elections.  I would imagine that over 2k hours of media time from MSNBC, Fox News, ABC, NBC, CNN, and CBS have been put on this topic of state senators or representatives.

I sat and noted various races since 1980, and most media outlets might have discussed governor races but it was a brief two-minute update here or there.

I could walk into a mall in Gadsen, Bama, or Midland, Texas.....and ask one hundred folks to name candidates from various races....and it'd be like some fantasy baseball league where they would rattle off the senatorial candidates in Alaska, Pennsylvania, Delaware, California, and even Florida.  You could ask the same folks to name the state capital in each state....and you'd get a blank stare.  You could ask the top three questions of the mentioned states....you'd get the same blank stare.  You could even ask folks to name any movie of Lindsey Lohan....you'd get the same blank stare.  You could ask folks who the host of Wheel of Fortune is....and you'd only get half the crowd to answer the question.

Something has changed in America...for the negative.  You've got a news media trying to sell perceptions or just propaganda to boost your feelings over something.  The sad comparison here....is that it's like dope. You get on a high or good feeling when someone bashes some political group.  Once hooked, you stay with those supplying you the dope....and until you finally max out and come crashing down.

I sat there and came to a state of laughing over Christiane Amanpour over this vast discussion on Delaware politics.  Christiane has one area of expertise....international relations.  She does a decent three-star job with that topic.  Here she was....trying to act serious, motivated, and knowledgeable about Delaware politics. I just couldn't take her serious.  It was like watching some Bass Pro Shop salesman talking up ladies evening wear or giving a recipe  for some fat-free sugar cookies.

We've got problems in the heartland, and we may not even realize it.  It's a new version of dope, and we aren't even using cash to buy it.  Even our local marijuana dealer, would accurately say there's something wrong here.