Thursday, 16 December 2010

Local Stuff

For those of you who track our local former big-wig mayor of DC.....Marion Barry.....he had his car stolen over last weekend.

Barry has recovered from his downfall in the 1980s, and now serves as a DC Councilman.  He apparently had his 2002 Jaguar near a education center in Southeast DC on Sunday morning.....with the keys still in the ignition (curious why, but we shall never know).  When he left the building....it was long gone.  Cops found it on Tuesday afternoon....in one piece.

I get the impression that someone was just joy-riding the car for an hour or two....then dumped it.  Face it.....what idiot would want a 8-year old Jag anyway?

The curious thing?  Why meet early on a Sunday morning at a education center in southeast DC?  And you leave the keys in the car?

The Seven-Minute Speech to Come

Someone sat up this week and finally asked two of the most curious questions of the year.....what does Supreme Court Judge Kennedy think of the mandated and required universal health care law, and what will President Obama say immediately upon a Supreme Court rendering of a slam against a mandated requirement attached to it?

It's pretty much going to turn into a four to four situation with the court over the universal health care law requirement that you must participate.  Justice Kennedy is the fifth vote.  In most cases....he swings to the right.  In a few cases, he has surprised folks and actually swung to the left.  This might be a curious situation with the perception of the Justice.

One has to sit though and imagine the first seven-minute comment of the President over an action against the mandated participation.  I would imagine that the speech writers of the White House are currently writing two different scripts for the President to memorize and keep in his pocket for this day in the summer of 2011.

I'm taking a guess that a slam against the requirement....would trigger a fairly negative slam against the court and how they are unable to understand the Constitution.  In a way, it would be a defining moment where some voters who are still hanging onto the support of the President would stand back and gauge his comments as possibly negative.

In a way, this seven-minute speech on the announcement of the Supreme Court verdict will define the President for years to come.  In a way....it ought be like most other verdicts where you just express your displeasure and talk about work in the congress to fix the problem.  I suspect you won't get much positive out of this seven-minute speech.  

The Peanut Explanation

Today, it was released that somewhere in the midst of the billions and billions to be given away by congress and the senate....is $413,000 for peanut research in Alabama.

Folks are a bit upset about this earmark in the midst of the spending bill.

I wanted to stand up and set the record straight on this.

First, the peanut is a critical part of American life.  Without it....peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches would not exist.  Imagine kids across America sitting there and having just a jelly sandwich.  It wouldn't be right.  Our passion and energy...comes from the peanut.

Second, let's admit here and now....Alabama is producing ten percent of the peanuts for the nation.  This is a major factor for Bama farmers.  We have some Bama folks who profit enough to go off to Aruba and Orlando....to enjoy their gains in life.  In our neighboring state of Georgia....they produce almost forty-five percent.  There is a slight difference here but lets just admit that the Bama peanut is superior to the Georgia peanut.

Third, while it's not clear who exactly is getting this earmark in the state....we can pretty much feel confident that it's going to Auburn....not those wussie guys at University of Alabama.  The Auburn peanut research department is legendary.  We probably have some of the smartest peanut scientists on the face of the Earth...at Auburn.  Denying them the chance to take the peanut to the next level of intelligence....just wouldn't be right.

Fourth, we can kinda admit that this will help fund several college students in various peanut research projects who main play football and need some extra grade points to ensure their survival with our victorious Auburn team.  Yes, we can admit that....and that a potential punter, defensive end, and maybe even a starting tackle player or two might be helped by this research grant.  The boys might even be taken by Professor "Skippy" (head dude of the peanut research department) on a grand tour of state peanut farms in search of statistics and a greater understanding of the vast peanut world in Bama.  And yes, they may get some pocket money for beer and get to hear Professor "Skippy" lecture in a drunken state about his wild theories of peanut evolution (things that would never be mentioned in Baptist company).

Fifth and final.....we admit that the money had to be spent on something.  Considering your choices were $413k on weasel research in California, $413k on turpentine research in Oregon, $413k on wild donkey research in Elko, Nevada, or $413k on the reason why people separate a Oreo cookie and eat the center part before they eat the outside cookies.....you'd have to agree that peanuts are a damn good idea to research.

You have to admit....just handing everyone in America back 12 cents by saving the $413k just wouldn't make sense....right?

The Diversity Crowd

It is a sad woeful tale.  A public school district in Oregon has stood up and decided that kids can't see a Christmas tree by itself.  It has to have various ornaments, from various religions, to appease various people.

This district, the Ashland school area.....had a group of folks up to study this terrible problem.  They finally developed some guidelines for school holiday displays.

This effort is supposed to present some type of diversity....which will thus skip out on issues with symbols with certain religious meanings (meaning the stable scene, the three wise dudes, the Star of David, Santa Joe Claus from Red Bay, and Randy the gay reindeer).

You have to appreciate the amount of time that people have these days.  Fifty years ago....dad would have put in forty to fifty hours at work, plus another twenty doing various chores, and five or six associated with the Masons or the VFW.  Mom would have wasted most of December doing real Christmas stuff....baking cookies and shopping for things that meant something from the heart.  Today, they all have extra time to think about lesser topics in life....and can spend time thinking about diversity and how it helps us feel good.

I pondered upon this for a while and wanted to offer us some diversity suggestions to help in this case.

First, there is the Corona of Coronas....a religious sect that praises the work of Mexican beer distributer.  This decoration is typically an empty bottle of Corona which is attached to the bulk of the Christmas tree itself...because of the weight.  Typically, you'd guzzle down the bottle quickly and then hang it.  There is a limit of six bottle per tree and it'd best be done with company in the house.

Then you have the fisherman's sect, which typically uses fishing lures over the top half of the tree.  The hooks are high low enough so cats can't hurt themselves on them.  You typically sing praise for trout and catfish when hanging the hooks on the tree.

Then you have the tube-top hottie sect, which hangs a simple blue tube-top (usually from an exceptionally large gal) near the top.  You can sing praise....mostly with her name and her phone number.

Then you have trailer park sect.....which typically has a tire rim kept near the bottom of the tree.  There is usually a verse or two about snowstorms or ice storms.  Folks will talk about their 'big one' and spend a few minutes going over just feeling lucky to be alive.

The sad thing is that these people who complain....usually think they are fixing something or feel proud of what they did.  Their enthusiasm in life is over how they can bring someone down to their standards.  They are mostly unhappy people and would prefer that you find that avenue to your liking as well.

If you are wondering why homeschooling is so popular now.....this is one of those reasons.  And as the years go by....you will get used to that being the best solution (sadly).