Saturday, 19 February 2011

Fleeing From Wisconsin

I think in some fashion...God arranges world catastrophic events....to shuffle up the news format. We sat through a long political period with news....then we got a fresh prospective of Egypt and toppling governments....and then this week....chaos in the streets of Madison, with people fleeing the state.



After a bit of pondering....I started to think that there are different ways of viewing the fleeing. First, there is the state tourism ad. FLEE Wisconsin to safe Bama. I thought this slogan would help bring more Wisconsin folks over to Bama and pump up our tourism in the state. Naturally, we'd need to make hand-outs and let folks know in Madison that they'd be safe in Bama.  Folks could stay for days, weeks and months....at Bama motels and lodges.  We'd offer up catfish, hushpuppies and NCAA football to keep them entertained.

Second....I came to this idea of fleeing.  Typically....folks flee third-world places....like Egypt, Haiti, Iraq or Nigeria.  If this concept of fleeing Wisconsin took root....then the whole state would end up with a third-world status...or in this case....a third-state status.  There would be CNN reporters swarming the state and asking folks if it was safe in Wisconsin, and some guy from Dilly, Wisconsin would stand by the barn and wonder if he'd missed anything from the Channel Four news this morning.

Third.....CNN, Fox and the other media folks don't have a huge number of "flee-experts".  So they'd have to out and find some oddball guys who've actually been in a flee situation before.  We might get a totally different prospective on life from these flee folks.

Fourth.....sometime in the next week...when you can't sleep and get up around 1AM....you will find some guy advertising the offical 'Madison-Flee Kit' for $319 (discounted down from $459).  There's be pancake mix, beef jerky, peanut butter, and a case of Pabst....to get you by for the first 72 hours of fleeing from Wisconsin.  You'll pause there for a while....thinking about this....being late of course. Then you will pick up the phone....even through you live in Iowa or Mississippi.....and buy a Madison-Flee Kit for yourself.  Call it fear....call it a prudent action.....but you will buy a kit.  The neighbor will see the UPS guy deliver it....and ask questions.  Then he'll but a kit. Pretty soon...everyone on your street will have a Madison-Flee Kit.

Fifth and final....some idiot will make a movie called "Escape from Madison" starring Nicolas Cage.    After it comes out....someone will finally ask what the heck this flee business is all about.....and a couple of politicians will stand up....grin....and admit it was just a show piece for TV.  Then and only then....will the Madison Flee Kit advertisements stop.

That's how silly our world has become.

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