Thursday, 9 June 2011

Farmers and Rural Folks

It was a curious event today....the President issued an executive order....establishing a White House Rural Council.  Basically, the order is to strengthen rural areas and promote some kind of economic growth.  The head dude on this Council?  Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack who was formerly a governor in Iowa (Democrat).

What does this mean?  Well...I'm guessing that Tom will go around and meet with farmers and agricultural agents....maybe some illegal Latinos....some unemployed folks from rural communities.....and special interest groups.  They will devise some $4 billion dollar package which will be there to help farmers and build jobs in rural America.  The exact method on the spending of this package is likely already thought up.....and most you farmers are not going to collect a penny (my humble opinion).

There will be some town hall meeting in Iowa or Kansas....with a bunch of farmers or rural folks.  The President will be there....chat up for an hour, and it'll be broadcast via M-TV to a bunch of punks who aren't sure what rural means.

At some point....there will be an argument about the rural degree of folks.  If you live within six miles of a Wal-Mart...it'll be argued that you aren't exactly rural.  Then it'll be argued if you have more than twelve grain silos per square mile....that you aren't doing bad off and shouldn't be getting any revenue money.  Then folks will argue that rural folks want mostly high-speed internet where they can download lots of lusty hot Italian videos.  Finally, some corn farmers will start cussing about beef farmers aren't of the same nature as them....with the hog farmers just smiling and grinning over this whole discussion.

It surprises me that he didn't appoint a rural Czar....but maybe that's the next step here.  It also surprises me that suddenly the White House got worried about rural America.....and that maybe rural votes might count for something in 2012.

All in all....for you rural folks....you need not worry now.  The American government is looking after your best interest....as if they weren't before....but they are now.

Professor Bishop and the Bottom Line

In the spring of 2010....Professor Amy Bishop of University of Alabama-Huntsville....got invited over to a tenure meeting at the university.  Basically, her peers had a meeting and this was to spell out the fact that she wouldn't get tenure.  She ended up pulling out a gun and shooting three of them.  Witnesses were around....so there's not much doubt about what happened in the room.  In Bama, that's a slam-dunk for the death penalty in most cases.

This week, it became obvious that her defense effort will center around the idea of her being insane....thus being sent off to some facility for the rest of her life.

There's a problem here....if the jury buys this.  Basically....they'd be admitting that the university went out and recruited an insane professor...paid her fairly substantial pay for several years....gave her a fair amount of lab equipment and responsibility....while she was insane from day one of the employment situation.

My own personal view is that if this goes through....someone from the state ought to whip up some mental exam requirement for every single job within the preview of the state employment office....and require you take a mental exam before you ever get hired.

You'd have to ask yourself.....how many additional professors working for the university currently....are insane?  How many state troopers are insane?  How many parks folks are insane?  Heck, between Auburn and the University of Alabama football coaches....maybe even one of these guys might be insane (we'd allow them to stay on if their record is better than ten wins and they go to a national bowl though).

My own guess is that even if you do drag five New York City doctors into the courtroom to pronounce Professor Bishop insane.....that might not be enough in Bama to convince a jury to allow her the insane title.  Folks might actually sit around and remember their aunt being nuts and still be allowed to having twenty-five dogs around the house.  Then folks might remember their neighbor who has five hundred chainsaws in their garage....all made in Prague, Czechoslovakia in 1977 and made personally for left-handed guys.  And finally, folks might take note to remember their church associate who speaks up about his personal chats with Jesus each Saturday evening while he sips Pabst-Blue Ribbon.

Professor Bishop may have a problem in Bama convincing folks that insane means anything much.  We're all a bit insane in Bama...but we don't go around shooting folks.