Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Attack of the Tea Party Zombies?

This is what we know.  Some shoot-em-up gaming company has devised this game where you have Tea Party zombies, and you have to kill them via a gun or an ax.  Naturally, it's all the political guys, plus the Fox News staff (Hannity, Hume, and O'Reilly)....plus some Fox blonde news gal-zombies.

Naturally, this has upset some folks.

I sat and pondered over this.  There are three obvious notes here.

First, it's only evil Tea Party-related political figures and Fox News folks who make this game.  John McCain?  Nope.  That old geezer team of senators from Bama (Shelby and Sessions)?  Nope, they didn't make it.  That Gutfeld dude from Fox New's Five?  Nope, he didn't make it.  The finance players from Fox Business News?  Nope, they didn't qualify as zombies either.  You had to be special....to be a zombie.

Second, guys who think up games like this....usually don't have much left in their imagination.  They've done the little Italian guys....they've done flying turtles....they've done wrestlers from WWE.  So you've come to the end of your career as a game producer....and you produce Tea Party Zombies?  It's loser status from this point on.

Third and final....and something to think about.  In every single zombie movie that you've ever seen....has anyone ever truly wiped out all the zombies, for sure?  Think about this....of the two hundred zombie movies produced over the past forty years....has anyone been able to wipe out all zombies?  The sad truth here...is that if you are a anti-Tea-Party guy, and facing Tea Party zombies, then you've boxed yourself in and might as well admit it's a pretty dismal end for you.  You will be consumed by the zombies....one way or another.  Sure, you might relocate to Canada or France....but the zombies will eventually come to Canada and France as well.  It's a dismal end if you really take this Tea Party zombie business to heart.

So as you sit there tonight and think over the state of things....we've come to a point where zombies and politics are on the mind of folks.  You might want to pull that case of Pabst Blue Ribbon out....it might be a long night of pondering.

Just a Bit Nuts

The facts are in.  Some smart guys from Dresden University (Germany)....sat down and examined the mental condition of Europeans.  Amazingly....looking at almost 730 million folks spread out from Portugal to Finland and down to Greece....that almost 165 million of them (38 percent)....suffer from some mental disorder.

They put insomnia, anxiety, depression and dementia all in the same bucket to reach this statistic.  So you start to think about the implications....folks who marry and divorce, alcohol abuse, drugs (legal and otherwise), then you toss on depression....and you start to see a fairly messed up society.  Bi-polar and schizophrenia are simply the cherries on the cake.

That means that when you step off the plane in Finland....the odds of every third person you meet....are probably a person with issues.  It's a curious statistic.  Personally....I'd think the same numbers apply in the US.

So when you and ponder on this....it means that we really aren't a perfect being of sorts.  We have issues on a massive scale.  These mental disorders determine wars, trigger murders, allow people to believe in radical religious practices, and create a mass market for various medications.  We are a society without an understanding of just how complicated things really are, or how things are likely to fall.

The curious thing is that we are surviving as well as we are.

When the Military Toilets Overflow

There was an interesting report last week to come out on the US military and the Iraq/Afghanistan wars.  Based on some analysis....the smart guys claim that sixty billion dollars of US government funding....was flushed down contracting tubes without much to show for it.  Maybe we got something in return for this sixty billion, but they just couldn't see it or prove it.

Sixty billion is a fair sum of money.  Having spent over thirty years associated with the US military....I sat and contemplated this.

During World War II...when you were sitting on some island in the Pacific and getting fed....it was a Marine or Navy cook preparing the meal.....not some contractor from Orange County, California.  When your radar on the frigate screwed up.....it was a military technician who fixed.....not some contractor from General Dynamics.  When your camp commander had an issue with latrines....it was Army privates or Marines who fixed the issue, and not some contractor with some Alaskan Eskimo heritage company.

Somewhere after Vietnam....we kind of shifted gears and started to agree that we could have fewer troops in the military....mostly by having these contractors around.  Smart contractors did things easier and if you needed to boost the numbers by double or triple....it took weeks.....not months.  The business analysts who ran the US military throughout the 1970s and 1980s proved this point over and over.  You just wanted GI's around to actually fight and do the dirty work.  The rest of this....from chow halls to logistics.....could be contracted out.

So we've come full circle.  We now admit that we pay out tons of money but aren't sure what we are getting in return for this effort.

So I'm going to offer up the solution.  Hire up the 150,000 low-wage GI's that you need to run toilet operations, cook, manage garbage disposal, and drive trucks.  Then you can rest assured at night that sixty billion won't be flushed down some toilet.  And all these contractors?  Well....they can go back to Missouri, or Georgia, or Kentucky....and try to get $70k a year cooking waffles for local folks.  The computer geeks who were making $180k a year in Afghanistan....can go back to Virginia and grin as they insist they are worth the $180k there.

This is how whacked up things have become in the US.  A GI needs an operational toilet in Afghanistan after a hard days work.....and we pay some guy named Gus $100k a year to sit in Afghanistan and make sure it doesn't overflow.  Maybe this is important....but we end up with the $100k price-tag at the end of the day.  Something doesn't make sense.

How Copies Will Turn Folks into Millionaires

Though I am a Commonwealth citizen today (Virginia), I must admit that Bama news is near and dear to my heart.  This month is when this 5-star immigration law takes effect in Bama....unless judges step into the mess and stop or suspend it.  Most folks are still betting on this.

Some folks are in the preparation part of this episode currently....thinking that the judges might not step in.  One of the curious parts of the law is starting to get folks peppered up.  There's a part of the new Bama immigration law which deals with “business transactions”, which basically says you need to show your citizenship via some method (like a copy of your license or your birth certificate) to get business situations accomplished.  One example is renewing car tags.

So you can imagine Uncle Buck driving down to the county court house to get his tags renewed.  They will want him to make a copy of his license.  You'd think that they'd just do this for him right there, but most counties are in a financial find and I'm guessing you will have to make the copy yourself.  Uncle Buck doesn't know nothing about copies and ask where the heck he can accomplish this.  The old clerk suggest Wal-Mart.

Uncle Buck drives over to Wal-Mart....walks through and buys $80 worth of stuff that he really didn't need but he had the "Wal-Mart urge" once he walked in the store.  He gets his copy and goes back to renew the tags.  He goes back home and tells his wife about the trip and then he spent $80 that he didn't need to spend.  His wife gets all upset....this wasn't money that needed to be spent and normally she controls his urges while at Wal-Mart.  She calls up the tag office at the county court house, and blasts the clerk.

From that day on, the clerk refuses to tell anyone where they can get copies made....which riles up a bunch of old folks who just want their dang tags renewed.  Eventually, some guy will figure out how to put a copier at the county court house, and just about everywhere else....charging them a quarter each.

It'll likely be the same way when you apply for a library card, or you intend to buy a fishing license, or you want to open up a savings account at some bank.  In the end....the copier folks will make millions off this business.

Simply Observations

Mitt Romney came out yesterday with a 160-page booklet and fifty-nine ideas which he was going to create jobs.  He felt so enthusiastic....that he said he'd create eleven million jobs in fours years.  I read through some of the ideas....which aren't exactly new and in some ways....a repeat of previous things that the US government had done for a short stretch.  For short term activity....these were proven to help or work.  A number of these proposals are simply tax-related efforts, which generally upset Democrats because cuts aren't on their acceptability list.  As for the eleven million jobs?  He could have said 2.2 million jobs, and folks would have been happy with that number.   In the end, a guy could come up with 300 ideas to create twenty-five million jobs....but if you aren't elected, then it doesn't matter.  That's the simplicity of America.  You can't win on jobs alone.

Down in Dade County, Florida.....some guy got into the school-bus depot and stole around thirty school-bus batteries.  The depot guys have no suspects, and so far....have only gotten about half the buses back into operational order.  It's an odd crime, and you have to wonder where exactly this guy intends to market his batteries.  The state cops will be out looking for him.  You'd have to head out west of the Mississippi to get far enough away and on the resale market....I doubt that you'd get more than a hundred bucks each for these batteries.

Finally, it came out yesterday that the administration intends to withdraw all but 3k troops in Iraq by the end of the year (there's around 45k presently today).  The 3k troops will be strictly trainers and nothing else.  I sat and pondered over this judgement call (yet to be concrete).  First, it would be the end of the Iraq War and give the President one weekend of positive talk.....and then, back to regular business.  That's the sad state of American affairs today...you just wouldn't get much of a spin.  Second, most troops who have done four or five deployments....will tell you that they are ready and very satisfied about this "end".  It isn't about mission completion or "winning"....it's about a tired state of mind that they've reached.  Third and final....there is still Afghanistan but I would suspect that the President will pull out most of those troops before the election of 2012....just to get one more positive spin.  The curious thing left here....is how do you quietly and quickly move 42k troops out of an area in 100 days?