Wednesday, 7 December 2011

The Spanish Problem

I read British newspapers almost daily.  Occasionally, you come across one of those oddball stories that you need to analyze a bit.  The Telegraph featured this story.

There's a Spanish county out there....which has gone over its school budget and they are frankly in a worried state of mind.  So much so.....that they need to cut back on some things....to ensure a balanced budget.  So one of the things they picked out....was excessive use of toilet paper by kids in the school.  So they've come to issue a limit on consumption.  You, as a student, get approximately 80 feet of toilet paper use per month (actually 25 meters, but it comes out pretty close to 80 feet).

I did some checking.  A standard quilted Northern double roll has 352 two-ply sheets and runs about 117 feet long.  So you'd get approximately three-quarters of a roll for the whole month, or around 240 sheets (more or less).

That means over the course of twenty days of school.....per month.....you'd get 12 sheets per school day.  My guess is that the average kid uses double that....typically. Some adults might even use forty sheets a day.

I see two possible solutions to this.  First, you could just say adios to the school providing any toilet paper and force everyone to bring their own rolls to school.  Course, then everyone would be sharing, and tossing various diseases back and forth as they shared their roll.  It'd be kind of comical as you asked Johnny Junior each morning if he had a fresh new roll of toilet paper in his backpack, and then dad would eventually add up the excessive toilet paper being used by the whole family.

My second solution would be to add some items to the diet of the kids.....so they didn't use the bathroom but once every two days.  Course, you can imagine some 4th grader sitting in the school bathroom for sixty minutes with a pretty complex problem bothering him, and the teacher wondering if he'd ever come back to class.  The positive is that he'd cut his toilet paper consumption in half.

Hopefully the Spanish folks don't get around to analyzing their water bill and figure out that Johnny Junior is flushing twelve times before he leaves the bathroom.

The 51 Percent

For weeks, there's been this continual mention with the Occupy folks and the media over the term "99 Percent" and "1 Percent".  The Occupy guys are wanting the public to side with them in this media war of sorts....in that 99 percent of America are the regular people who ought to be running America.

I came to realize something last night....the real percent number to pay attention to.....is fifty-one percent.  That's the magic number who determines your Senators, your Representatives, your City Council, your Governor, your President, and even taxes.

It take fifty-one percent to win any election, so it's pretty simple.  Your entire life is determined by this magic fifty-one percent....and it has been that way since the day you were born.  Tax payers don't vote (check out Wal-Mart, Pennys, and Texaco).  Citizens vote....including wealthy citizens and poor citizens.

The sad thing about fifty-one percent is that the Occupy guys probably don't fall that many times into that category.  It's true in 2008 with President Obama, but after that point.....the fifty-one percent crowd went into a vastly different direction.

I'm guessing around November of 2012....some Occupy guys will come to discover fifty-one percent and how it really fits into life. Then the Occupy guys will go home.....get jobs with Pizza Hut or the local parks department, and go back to trying to pay off their $70k loan to the government for those stupid college classes they took.