Tuesday, 17 January 2012

The Problem with Dopers

This is what we know....compliments of the Northwest Florida Daily News....cops from the Okaloosa County Sheriff's office get a call to come out to a house.  They arrive.  Here's a gentleman who is laying on the floor.  This guy is the son of the home owner.  He is kinda throwing himself around on the floor, and talking about Governor Mike Huckabee (our Fox guy, former Arkansas Governor, and 2008 Presidential contender), Jesus and people were full of ****.  The cops didn't detail out the **** because this is Florida and folks don't generally cuss in public.

The cops finally make a decision after talking to him....enough is enough....and arrested him for felony battery and felony resisting arrest.  If you notice the word 'felony' twice, that generally will get you more than sixty days in jail.  The cops say that he was using bath salts....thus was all doped up.

The amusing part to this story is that the guy let the cops know that he seriously wanted to talk to Governor Huckabee, then turned around to talk to an invisible "friend" who turned out to be Jesus.

I pondered on this.  Back a hundred years ago, if folks had come upon someone who was speaking with Jesus....they'd listen to the guy for a day or two, and giving him a chance to explain things.  This is mostly because they didn't have any real drugs, and alcohol didn't cause you to run around talking to invisible folks.  Since the arrival of various drugs today.....it doesn't take much for folks to determine you are nuts and have you hauled off.

What I always find curious about these folks.....they always pick Jesus.  I'd be picking Churchill, Davy Crockett, Thomas Jefferson, or Steinbeck.  I would imagine out of a thousand people who dope up and talk to invisible folks...almost all talk to Jesus.  They won't talk to Moses, or Luke, or Samson.

My guess is that the worst thing you could ever do....is get doped up on something, and leave the TV channel on some religious channel for six hours.  It probably messes up your mind eternally, and it's like some kind of brain-washing session.

As for this guy from Florida?  Well.....he'll eventually wake up and ask what happened.  It'll be explained by some Sheriff's guard at the jail named Jimmy.   This guy will be amazed at the stuff he did and not remember anything.  The guard Jimmy?  He will be asking if the guy feels closer to Jesus and probably hand him a pamphlet from the local Baptist church.  Two weeks later and out of jail on bail....the guy joins up with the church...shows everyone how to bath salts, and suddenly you've got three hundred folks talking to Jesus on a daily basis.  It could happen.....you know.

Only in America.

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