My Job

This is a true story.

I work in the bowels of the Pentagon, in deepest part of the basement....next to the bedrock.  I work in a vaulted area which has the regular entry doors, and this extra set of double-doors as a back entrance.  You only open up the back-entrance when you have pallets of equipment to bring into the area....otherwise, they stay shut all the time.

Normally, up until the last week.....when we opened the double-doors.....we called up the Pentagon security guys....Gus, Joe and Betty Lou.....who just asked us to spell our names and noted the time we opened the alarmed back-door area.  This week, they decided to shift us over to a closer security detail....which is made up of all US military folks, who are pretty hardcore dedicated to the idea of protecting "something" (it could be a tent, a merry-go-round, or nuclear plant.....they take it all pretty serious).

So I've got a pallet of stuff that has arrived at the door and I need to open it....to bring it in.  I called up the new number and "Sarge" answers.  I let Sarge know that I'm in such-and-such room and that I'm opening up the door.  There's a pause here....because I'm expecting him to ask for the spelling of my name.

But no, Sarge comes back....asking me who ordered me to open this door.

I'm from Bama.....so I'm pausing here for about ten seconds....thinking of this question as trick situation.  I finally answer...."well, I ordered myself to open the door".

I can tell that Sarge wasn't expecting that, and it took him about ten seconds to grasp what I meant by that. So then he asks...."why are you opening the door?"

I'm pausing again, thinking that this is trick question number two, and then answer...."well, to get to the other side".

I'm getting the impression that Sarge is not happy with my answers.  He comes at me now with rapid fire questions....name, organization, rank, favorite NFL team, best NCAA bowl game, etc.  I eventually help him fill out a half page of various topics and answers.  Then he finally says that I have his approval to open the door.

After I finished up my business....I called the same number and got junior Sarge, who just wrote the room number down, and thanked me.  Maybe I was just lucky.....I'm not sure.  I know that we really need first class protection in the Pentagon and am fairly proud of the folks who walk around....prepared to take on any threat without question.  But bluntly, I don't them want asking too many questions in the performance of their jobs.  And if they start asking stupid questions.....it's pretty good odds that I'm just not going to answer them the right way.