Monday, 12 March 2012

The Madness in Detroit

This is what we know.   A guy walks into a Detroit gas station....not to buy gas, but to buy condoms.  After he buys them....he pauses and makes the comment that he was overcharged.  He insists that he could have bought them elsewhere...cheaper.  He makes a comment about undoing the sale....getting a refund.  The gas station guy has a no-refund policy.  Things get heated up.  The condom guy starts tossing things around the gas station.  The gas station guy pulls a gun.....shooting the guy in the shoulder.  The ambulance comes.  The condom guy eventually dies at the hospital.....all over the price of condoms.

I paused and pondered over this.  In the old days....gas stations just sold gas, oil, wiper blades, and sodas.  I can still remember as a kid the local stations being simply a place for mechanical things.  Along came snacks, beer, sandwiches, and later you had oddball things that never made any sense....but apparently sold well.

The logical problem here....is that men need a subsidized government program where all the condoms you need for a month....are free.  If birth control pills for women are free, condoms ought to be free.  The President's order to insurance companies to provide free birth control.....ought to be expanded.  All of this suggestion would logically follow the order and direction of America today.

Course, you have to take this into account.....this was in Detroit, and guys get shot in the city on a daily basis.  The condom guy could have easily picked up some peanuts and a Mountain Dew.....then complained about the over-charging or cost of the peanuts and Dew.  No refund would have been the response....the gun would have been pulled out, and the Dew guy would have been dead.  Then we would have been discussing a government program to provide government-subsidized peanuts and Mountain Dew.

My advice.....if you wanted the cheapest price on condoms, peanuts, or Mountain Dew....skip the gas station, and go over to the Wal-Mart.  Yeah, you probably did overpay by forty percent at the gas station, and that was your own stupidity.

Sometime this week, they will bury some guy in the outskirts of Detroit.....because he overpaid on a box of condoms.  His buddies will shed tears, and later go over to the local bar to talk about their good friend.  Somewhere in the group will be the guy's wife, and probably his mistress.  None of this will make any sense.  And the night will end with a final toast to a great guy who just plain screwed up by complaining over the price of condoms.

Only in America.

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