This is what we know.
Cops got called out in Shandong, China. 9-11 type call.....frantic voice....you gotta come to the river....someone drowning.
So the cops dispatched a team out to the river area.....found a crowd.....then saw the body floating off in the river. Roughly an hour passes during this rescue episode.....finding the body, trying to find a boat, and finally getting out to where the body was resting.
By this point, there were mostly a thousand local folks along the river to watch what they figured to be a NASCAR-like event.....dead body recovery episode. This huge crowd translated into a bunch of cars parked along the road....which uninterrupted regular traffic, then hindered emergency vehicles, and just total chaos.
So the cops and rescue guys finally get to the body in the river. The problem is....as they finally paddle back up to the banks of the river....this was a inflatable sex-doll type "thing".
Now, a guy from Bama would pause along about this point. There'd be jokes tossed at the fire and rescue guys....if they provided mouth-to-mouth, and they'd just try to explain that they puffed as much as possible, but couldn't revive the doll.
The cops will be asked about the police report.....which have to indicate "damages". Some guy will draw out the doll and indicate where she was losing air.
Some guy named Yung will come up by next week....admitting it was his doll, and he'd like to have her back. News folks will show up. You can imagine the rest.
It's a good thing you don't have events like this in Bama. It'd just invite too many guys to get distracted from NCAA football, politics, or Baptist revivals, and you just don't need something like that.