I've sat and pondered over the ten ways that President Obama could widen the margin and easily take this election against Romney. These are my own ideas:
1. Tax the rich at 312-percent a year. I realize that it'd probably bankrupt the rich within five years....but it'd make the majority of voters happy that they didn't have to pay for taxes for five years. What happens after that point? Well....it's best not to discuss that....because it gets into the term of some Republican president probably.
2. Offer to pay up all health insurance costs for the first two years. This might get into the trillions, but it'd make the bulk of voters pretty happy for a short period of time.
3. Offer up free cable TV service....to include HBO and Showtime, for four years. This would take a load off most younger voters and offer up a chance to watch some weird TV shows that folks haven't regularly reviewed.
4. Talk Seinfeld into bringing his TV show back on the air.
5. Fire VP Joe Biden, and hire up either Brittney Spears or Katie Couric as VP. Folks would spend hours each day waiting for either one to screw up twice as bad as VP Joe did.
6. Offer up seven-day postal delivery, free coffee coupons while at the polling place, and three hundred pounds of welfare dog chow as part of a government enhancement package.
7. Offer to allow the History Channel to run a reality TV series from the White House. The truth would be it'd be a fake set, with twelve fake Hollywood guys who look like the President and VP Joe, with a fairly fake set, and a series of Latin American fake dictators who would shuffle through and get into fights with VP Joe occasionally.
8. Offer Pete Rose a Presidential pardon, and then deliver a two-hour speech weeper of a speech on why Pete was such a great player, screwed up, and yet deserves a second chance in life.
9. Offer to open up the secret vaults at Area 51 if he wins the election, and show off the alien guys and their UFOs.
10. Finally....if enough of you did vote for him.....he'd agree to be a Judge on America's Got Talent, and be a guest on some ballroom dancing show.