If Sesame Street were a real street in the heartland of America.....
Then, Cookie Monster would be on welfare, collecting food stamps, and trying to make it off $135 a month for all the cookies he needed.
Then, Chicago the Lion (the Vegetarian on the show), would be mostly living south of the railroad tracks and eating wild roots and cabbage because there's just no employment for a unemployed circus lion these days.
Then, Elmo would be working three part-time jobs, and living with his sister's family most of the time.
Then, Bert and Ernie would have packed up and moved to Wichita Falls, and gotten back into carpet-laying with Ernie's cousin, and living out of a house-trailer next to a meth house.
Then, Kermit and Miss Piggy would have lost their $500k house in Malibu to bankruptcy, and moved to North Dakota to work the oil business while in recovery mode.
Then Big Bird would have cleaned up his act, quit show business, started a small company that developed a chemical compound to clean dirty car engines, and made a million a week off his marketing on QVC.