Friday, 12 October 2012

The Nick Channel Dopes

Does the kid channel....Nickelodeon....matter much in election news?  Normally...no.

This year....the Nick folks got around to more news than normal, and the election fell into place.  There's this special...."Kids Pick the President" which was supposed to educate the kids on the topics, and hopefully have both the President, and Mitt Romney show up.

Well....folks started to notice a while back that the news angle was kinda slanted, and when the invitations went out.....the President accepted, but Mitt Romney declined.  Some negative comments did eventually come out from the Nick host on their "news" show (Linda Ellerbee).

Normally, I wouldn't care much....the Nick channel is mostly worthless unless you fit into this seven to thirteen year old group.  For some reason, they did up a poll after all their education efforts on the channel, and found of the top eight topics that people cared about.....that kids prioritized in a different fashion.  Gay marriage rights was number one, and jobs was dead-last.

I paused here, to ponder.

Dear Punks:

It's nice to get all uppity about politics at age ten.  I imagine that every afternoon....compliments of the Nick News folks....you get a dose of some political ideas and consider your new friends to be kinda reliable.  So, let me give you a few lessons in life.

That fancy orange juice that Mom bought for your breakfast?  Well....it only comes because your dad is employed and makes enough to pay for $5 a bottle for fancy orange juice.

The $88 jeans that you have on?  That came because your dad is employed and can afford to pay stupid prices like that. If he wasn't....you'd be at Wal-Mart and buying the $18 Chinese-made jeans.

What happens when your dad get unemployed?  You can figure a very quick change on priorities. The 120-channel deal on cable?  That will disappear after a few months.  Your Nick channel?  It might not be on the cheap cable deal that dad has to accept.

What happens to the swim-center all-summer passes that your dad used to buy?  Well....they go away, and if you are lucky....there's some local community pool passes that dad might procure with what little money he has.

The chance to get dad's car for a date?  Well....with gas at $4 a gallon....you might be lucky to afford one date a month.

Did the Nick guys ever tell you much about economics?  Well....no.  The Nick guys skipped that, along with how to buy a house with a lousy credit rating.  Have the Nick guys said anything much about all the bonds that we've sold to China, and why you....at age ten....are screwed for the rest of your employment life?  The Nick guys never did mention credit cards did they?  The Nick guys talking about taxes and the effect on the economy?   No....they didn't really give much detail about that.  Have the Nick channel guys spoken much about cities in California which are bankrupt....because they spent more than they can ever turn on tax collection?

So punk.....it's a slanted story that the Nick news folks tried to tell you.  Sorry.  Folks don't really care if you get all the facts or not.

How much will you watch the Nick Channel after age fourteen?  Probably zero.  You will eventually ask some stupid questions and realize the zero value of the Nick Channel.  In the end....they pretty much made entertainment....into something that isn't really entertaining, or news worthy.

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