Friday, 16 March 2012

Our Joe

This is what we know....months before Osama bin Laden met his death.....he had this plan which he detailed out to his faithful followers.....to attack the aircraft that carried President Obama and Gen. David H. Petraeus. From the media comments on this.....bin Laden felt that Joe Biden was totally unprepared for this job and with him.....the US would go into a deep crisis mood.

I sat and pondered over this, and can make these four observations.

First, I would imagine the President is sitting there in shock...having never really considered the scenario of VP Joe taking over.  VP Joe was supposed to be the guy who got up early and talked on Sunday political shows, did funerals in foreign countries, and showed up at VFW conventions.  That was it.  So the President has to be a bit worried now.

Second, the media likely sits in shock tonight.  VP Joe could have been placed in charge of America?  That wasn't the scripted deal that they all understood back in 2009.

Third, Democratic voters are kinda wondering....does this mean that VP Joe is gone in the summer at the convention.....that some new VP emerges?

Fourth, after a long while of pondering....I came to view President Joe, as a likely healing source for the nation.  He's like your Uncle Louie who invites you over to the garage and shares a case of beer with you....to talk over the chances of the Cubs winning the World Series.  President Joe would likely wrap up each work day by 3PM, sneak out to a local golf course or bar by 5PM, and keep a forty case supply of beer somewhere in the White House.

I have to be honest....if I had a choice of any Republican candidate running, or President Joe.....I might just vote for President Joe.  Joe wouldn't make frustrating speeches which anger half of the nation.  Joe wouldn't be in campaign mode 365 days a year.  Joe would show up at NASCAR races, hockey games, wrestling events.  We might actually come to appreciate a couple of years where the media is stuck with a pretty boring Joe as President.  

Bin Laden probably guessed wrong on his analysis here.  Joe is the kind of guy who'd just look at the guy breaking into his house.....pull out a 45 and blast the guy right there in the hallway.  So you have to wonder where bin Laden got his analysis and beliefs from?  Fox News?  Or Karl Rove?

All the Things in Life That You Need a Picture ID For

1.  Buying booze.
2.  Buying smokes.
3.  Getting through a TSA line at the airport with a airline ticket.
4.  Getting anything accomplished at the Social Security Administration office.
5.  Cashing a check.
6.  Opening an account with a bank or credit union.
7.  Joining the US military.
8.  Getting narcotic drugs at the pharmacy.
9.  Getting a business license.
10.  Buying over-the-counter medications with various items noted by the state as dangerous.
11.  Registering your car.
12.  Buying a property, a house, a trailer, or modular home in any of the fifty states.
13.  Getting a building permit to build a house, or structure on your private property.
14.  Registering at any city hall for a rally, protest or parade.
15.  Jury duty.
16.  Getting stopped by a cop for any offense, to include jay-walking, mooning people, or disturbing the peace.
17.  Buying a pistol or rifle in any of the fifty states.
18.  Transferring a pistol or rifle to anyone else in any of the fifty states.
19.  Being accepted for a US government job and in-processing on day one.
20.  Buying a cellphone with any plan.
21.  Getting a marriage license.
22.  Getting a divorce.
23.  Getting an annulment.
24.  Registering at college.
25.  Renting a car at any airport.
26.  Crossing the border to enter Mexico or Canada.
27.  Applying for welfare or food stamps.
28.  Bringing items back to a store for a refund.
29.  Getting a post office box.
30.  Accepting registered mail.
31.  Getting a hunting license.

31 other things that you'd associate with life in a democracy, not requiring a photo ID:

1.  Getting some Chinese lady to hem up the special pants you bought on sale.
2.  Buying peanuts or pop-tarts.
3.  Buying fireworks (even at age 5)
4.  Hiring a trampy New Orleans hooker for six minutes.
5.  Walking into a NCAA football game between Texas Tech and Alabama.
6.  Buying itch ointment.
7.  Buying flea powder for your dog.
8.  Entering the Grand Canyon Park.
9.  Buying imitation leather boots at Joe-Paul's boot shop.
10. Buying a Heart musical CD at Wal-Mart.
11.  Hiring a Latino guy to rebuild your roof, paint your fence, or dig up your septic tank.
12.  Riding a Greyhound bus from Memphis to Kansas City.
13.  Buying moon-pies and Dr Pepper at the corner gas station.
14.  Attending church.
15.  Get a tattoo.
16.  Bowl.
17.  Get your muffler replaced.
18.  Get a $12 haircut.
19.  Buy a WW II Japanese sword at the flea market.
20.  Get your shoes shined.
21.  Buy a cow from your neighbor.
22.  Buy Vicks Formula 44 in XXL packages.
23.  Have your dog neutered.
24.  Buy illegal drugs on any street corner in America.
25.  Watch a G-rated movie.
26.  Buy condoms.
27.  Entering the county fair.
28.  Voting in a city, county, state or federal election.
29.  Taking a lusty gal to a drive-in movie featuring a Burt Reynolds movie.
30.  Burning leaves in your backyard.
31.  Going to the monkey house at the zoo.

After you start associating the act of voting with getting your shoes shined, taking your dog to be fixed, or watching a G-rated movie.....it all starts to feel good.  Just take your ID over to corner market....buy some booze, and remind yourself.....if Thomas Jefferson felt you needed an ID rule....he would have written it into the Constitution.  Don't worry, just be happy, and don't lose your ID....otherwise, you can't buy no more booze.