Saturday, 13 April 2013

When You Need a Hegan-kid

You can lay out the scene.

Teacher has opened up class....fourth grade kids.  Just about anything the teacher says....is considered gospel.

So homework is dispensed one day.  The take-home project?  The project is a written piece where the student describes that he is willing to give up some of his or her Constitutional Rights, to gain a safer or more secure situation in life.  It was part of the teacher's civics class.

Most parents, upon finding something like this....would ask some stupid questions.  So the first parent to stumble across this....in Florida....asked for the intention of the class....the curriculum.    Now this starts to become interesting.  The idea was to get kids to prioritize which rights they were willing put emphasize on, and which they could just toss if necessary.

Where did this come from?  Well...likely from the framers of the Constitution back in the 1770s period, where they put a numerical value on each right, and once you hit 66 on a numerical value....you were maxed out on rights.  If you were looking for such stupidity.....it doesn't exist and none of the framers would have done such a thing unless they'd been in a drunken stupor.

The school board?  Well....they eventually came back this week to explain their logic....that kids needed to broaden their horizons.

I'm only guessing here, but if someone can corner the school board and ask them point-blank questions....it might get interesting   Would they be willing to give up their Constitutional Right to vanilla ice cream?  Would they be willing to give up their Constitutional Right to gaze upon tube-topped women?  Would they be willing to give up their Constitutional Right to red ink pens?  Would they be willing to give up their Constitutional Right to have fries with the burger?  One or two of the board folks might have a laugh at that point.

But let's make this even more interesting.....asking them to list the Bill of Rights.  There's only ten to it.  It ought to be easy to recite.  I'm betting they don't get past five rights.

If this is all about prioritizing things....then lets go one better.  You have three choices: (1) go borrow $80k to get a degree in French literature, (2) charge $50k on your credit card and make $1,000 monthly payments just to stay stable, or (3) stay in your dad's basement for the rest of your life while he gives you $40 a week pocket money and you drink from his private stock of buttermilk and beer.  Which makes more sense?  The right answer?  None of them.

The right answer for the teacher's project?  None of the rights are up to give you a safer world.  And a counter question to the teacher.....how will they protect you from an unsafe world?  I don't think they'd like to answer that.

All you need in today's school world....is one smart-ass kid (from the age I grew up....this Hegan-kid).  The teacher would sit there and pose some stupidity, and the Hegan would just raise his hand and ask if this was true or bogus.  By the time this kid was 14, they should have just handed him a graduation slip and let him out the back door.....he just wasn't in the same league and the teachers were looking more and more like idiots.  Florida is in need of a few Hegans.  I'm pretty sure he would have pulled out his own personal copy of the Constitution and noted for the teacher that these just weren't prioritized.

Sadly, I just can't make this stuff up.

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