Friday, 14 June 2013

Your Weed Card

Across the river from DC.  This week, the city came out with it's application form for the marijuana medical card. As the dispensery stores open up....if you did want to get some medical marijuana....then you have to start with this card.

So you show up at the DC clerk's office.  There's this form.

You need to have two passport-like photos, which definitely show you from the top of the forehead to the bottom of the chin.

The form lets you know....that DC isn't responsible for anything....not your addiction, your reaction, your costs, etc.

The initial card?  A hundred bucks.  Lose it?  Ninety bucks.

The card's lifespan?  Well....that's an interesting story.  They don't say the exact period, but I'm guessing twelve months.  The renewal?  A hundred bucks.

Along the way, the DC guys wrote in some fancy words, and created a second category.....reduced rates for the poverty-level smoker.  Seventy-five percent reduction, if you qualify.

You need to note a real mailing address.  Just having a mail-box at some delivery point.....won't work.

You have to note your doctor, who will be signing the prescription for you.  How many DC doctors will agree to prescribe it?  I'm guessing less than fifty percent.  There will probably be doctors who operate from bread-truck like operations and simply park in such-and-such neighborhood on Tuesdays, and over by such-and-such park on Fridays.

Nine pages of text, to get the weed card.  But here's the curious thing.  The last page of this form is dedicated to you proving you are a DC resident.  It's not simple.  You need a license, or a tax-payment note, or a deed to property, or a rental agreement for DC property, or a utility bill from a DC address.  A guy from Maryland or Virginia sneaking over?  Unless you rig up some fake paperwork, it just isn't going to work.

How many cards will be dispensed over the next year?  Journalists are careful not to estimate this.  You don't hear anyone discussing numbers.  For the weed dispensary stores to be profitable.....I'd take a humble guess that they need 5,000 monthly customers.  In five years?  It's hard to say....there might be forty thousand people in DC on some type of medical marijuana treatment.  Some folks think that Maryland will launch the same thing within three years.

The curious thing?  I'm betting on some company opening up on the street.....offering to help you fill out your weed form....for $50.  A form that was made for a seventh-grade drop-out, and it'll likely require some smart guy to fill in the information.