Tuesday, 18 June 2013

The Lone Signal Crowd

So this is the deal.  There is this organization which bought up some of the satellite relay stations, and they've organized this foundation of sorts....to take messages from you (which you will pay in some way), and beam them out into space at one particular zone which some folks think there might be intelligence life.

You pay $8 (they haven't announced the true fee cost so I'll assume the eight bucks)....compose a 16-line message for Zulk, the alien dude who has a receiver unit.  Zulk reads your text message which has to do with Clint Eastwood, Motel Six, grilled cheese sandwiches, and NCAA football bowl choices.

Tomorrow, you pay another $8....compose another 16-line message...dealing mostly with your girlfirend who dumped you, a new TV reality series on Discovery, the difference between Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi, and best description of Coors Light Beer.

Over the next twenty years....at least eight times a month, you compose this message....pay Lone Signal (the name of the foundation), and feel good about your personalized messages to Zulk.

A dumping ground for idiots with loose cash?  Yeah, probably.

The question is....if there is a Zulk out there....and reading this stuff, what the heck does he think about this?  A pathetic society?  A bunch of losers stuck on NCAA bowl choices?  A group of nuts who cry over who loses with Dancing with the Stars?

Surely as a society, we could do better....but for a couple of bucks, this all makes perfect sense.

Just Confess

Yesterday, my military headquarters sent out this nifty email concerning security and sequestration.  As you know....we are only two weeks away from this 11-week period starting, and we go to twenty-percent less pay.

The security guys wanted us all to know that if the less pay situation creates financial turmoil for any of us with security clearances.....then they could possibly terminate our employment.  Naturally, they wanted any of us in this position....to quickly run up and confess this to them.

I sat there mostly laughing.

Had they suggested or commented on this to Congress back six or twelve or eighteen months ago?  No. I doubt if Congress would want to create a potential tidal wave with government job terminations over this furlough business and financial problems.

The folks who will feel the pain of this episode....are mostly those who make $60,000 or less.  They are divorced parents with kids, extreme mortgage episodes, and monthly bills to pay.  They really couldn't afford to go through three months of twenty percent less pay.  Congress didn't really grasp that.  These security guys could care less.

The confession part of this?  Basically, you are providing all the information that they will need to let you go later.  You'd have to be an idiot to run over and announce you will have financial issues because of furlough.

How many government workers will be terminated because of security loss?  It's hard to guess.  It ought to be zero.  I suspect that down the line.....from the FBI to the State Department....you might end up with fifty employees in this case.

I have less than nine work days left with this government agency.  This is probably the cherry on the cake.  They've got problems, and it's best not to even think about it.