Wednesday, 24 July 2013

My NPR

I'd like to remake National Public Radio....NPR.  For the past decade, I've sat and watched a number of things with NPR management that I disagree with....but frankly....can't do nothing about their news, their music, their theme, and their brand of slant.  I pay for the network with taxes....but really have no say.

My ten changes?

1.  I'd remove all NPR offices from DC, and put the the bulk of the operation in Joplin, Missouri.  Salary decreases?  Yeah....a cut of forty to sixty percent.  If you don't like to move or the salary adjustment.....find yourself another job in DC (there's just not going to be much for a NPR journalist).

2.  I'd establish a maximum of six hours a day of news or journalism.  Period.  Two at 6AM, two at noon, and two around 5PM.

3.  I'd mandate at least an hour each of jazz, opera, classical and folk music every single day, and six hours each over the weekend.

4.  I'd require each state to produce one hour of it's own brand of interviews, state updates, and state economics....via their own university system.

5.  I'd put on a one-hour Friday sports show, with former stars, and washed-up wannabe stars.

6.  Once a week, I'd offer up a five-person interview session for an hour.....with folks selected from the entrance of a Wal-Mart, a barbershop, or some cattle-sales barn.  It'd be a real interview....asking folks what really mattered in their daily life.  It'd be a shock for most of America to find out that car maintenance issues might always be in the top ten issues, or that no one knows much of anything about Obama HealthCare.

7.  I'd require every one of the top ten journalists for NPR to take seven days of mandated and paid leave.....to some backwoods place or some dangerous neighborhood in America.....to grasp the real nation that they are broadcasting to.

8.  I'd limit international news each hour to seven minutes.  If you can cram forty minutes of worthless information about the state of French wine into seven minutes....great....if not....well....it's best to move on.

9.  I'd offer up a Greek tragic opera, or some old Roman epic at least once a week, and bring the crowd back to real history.

10.  I'd find some way to limit the political opportunist maneuvers of NPR during a political election year. If it meant forcing everyone to talk just as much about cheesecake recipes as they talk about Democrats and Republicans....ok, we'll have a lot of chat over cheesecake.

Simply Observations

The push is on to force the Pentagon to create chaplains for atheists.  It's hard to say where this will go.  Would the regular chaplains accept this?  If the Pentagon accepts it.....how do you recruit these guys?  I just don't see a bunch of atheist ministers out there.  It's like putting a dry-county enthusiast in charge of the NCO Club bar....they'd likely shift over to selling only Tab, root beer, and tap water.

The head guy over at CBS admits they just don't have much analysis or hired folks for conservative views.  You can imagine the shock of CBS viewers hearing this.  There's probably two dozen folks just sitting in disbelief over such a frank and humble announcement.  The result?  Nothing much.  Don't worry....it usually takes six years for CBS to say they'd like to change before they actually change.

A new poll says that two-thirds of all Americans believe God had a hand in evolution.....so that fixes up the explanation business completely.  Course, this leaves one-third of the crowd in the belief that evolution is just accidental and that in 6,000 years.....all guys would look like Justin Bieber....just accidentally.

Honest Tea went out and did a state by state analysis....looking for the most honest state.  It was a tie for number one....Hawaii and Alabama.  I sat there.....looking at the results.  If a guy pulls up to visit neighbors and talks up some terrible woes....the neighbors will generally say "yeah, Gus.....you got it bad off....we'll pray for you this Sunday".   Those folks in DC?  They were ranked least honest.  I can only imagine that Gus would have gotten some response....well, mostly in disbelief and no promise of a prayer later.

Of an interesting note....the University of Alabama has capped the student work hours for the university....to twenty per week.  This guarantees no issues in providing Obama HealthCare.  Yeah, they never made much to start with, but this kinda means that they really don't make much now at all.

Some scientists have now proven that skipping breakfast is a bad thing....possibly leading to heart attack.  I found this news promising.....and just adds more fuel to my idea of sausages, biscuits, a stack of pancakes, and a couple of donuts on the way into work.

From this accident in Florida where this family was at risk of dying....emerges George Zimmerman, with a fire extinguisher, and saves the family.  A Bama guy would examine this and say.....God put George at the right place and right time.....to ensure some results.  Course, we'd get into trouble for suggesting this.  On the other hand, God might not be finished in using George for other things.