Wednesday, 29 October 2014

This TLC, June, and Honey Boo Boo Thing

At some point in the fall of 2012, while still living in Arlington, I sat there one night and accidentally flipped over to the TLC, which was running Honey Boo Boo.  I sat for six minutes watching this garbage reality show.  A commercial came up, and I flipped the channel at that point.  That was my full dose of Honey Boo Boo.

I noticed about three months ago that June had dumped her man, or he'd just left.

This week, I noticed that June had taken up with predator guy, and TLC had decided enough was enough....terminating the show.

No one ever said much over how many folks watched the show.  I personally doubt that they ever had more than 200,000 Americans who tuned into it. For kids?  No.  I can't imagine any kid wanting to watch this stuff.  Teens?  No.  Young guys?  No.  I think the bulk of the audience were mostly women over sixty, and they thought it was cute.  Beyond that....nothing.

This is the problem we have with TV today....reality TV is blooming and you can create a bogus show on gold prospecting (Gold Rush), a fake dinosaur hunt, truckers hauling weird stuff around America, amateur scientist talking myths, ghost patrols, and even fake lumberjacks.  I sat last year and watched some trailer park saga from South Carolina's beach area.....with mostly trailer folks talking trashy stuff and having dramatic lives laid out in six entire minutes.

The truth is....reality TV is cheap to produce.  You hire a crew, get some gimmick, hire some fake actors, and with $200,000....you can get a decent episode of fake car repossession produced or some homeless guys living under some bridge in Birmingham.  None of the facts have to be true.  Acting can be marginal.  The story can be half-witted or dismal.  You just need to get the whole thing told in 22 minutes and keep folks interested.

My brother could lead some camera crew around the farm, noting various local emergencies (fence posts need replacing, yard needs mowing, the light burned out on the drive-way pole, or the septic tank backed up).  It'd kinda work for a while.

Some other guy could run a twelve episode season over his flea-market empire and his wife who is three-timing him, along with the nephew who is getting charged up to become a fake Baptist minister.

Some gal might run three seasons with a fraudulent body massage studio, which is really a cheapo bordello which the local cops are bribed to just overlook.

The issue to me....it's all less than entertaining, and in some ways....it's fake.  It's so realistically fake......you know it's fake.

June and Honey Boo Boo?  Well, if the CNN legal guy is right....Boo Boo is likely to end up with relatives or some foster home.  June?  You'd just sit there and wonder how she picks so many loser guys and if it's just dumb luck.  Maybe June will eventually recover, marry some radical minister guy from El Salvador, lose forty pounds via the local fake fitness studio, and get picked back up for TLC.  Stranger things have happened.

Bringing Them to the US

Some guy in the US State Department wrote up a "white-paper", which advocated the idea of bringing African Ebola patients.....into the US.....for treatment.

Yeah, you can sit there and wonder about this idea.  What the State Department generally says is that they don't know of any such idea.  There might be one single white-paper....written by some guy....in support of this process.  There are 13,000 folks who work for the state department and it's possible that one single guy dreamed up this radical idea, and maybe four people have actually read the initial page.

How would this work?  I would imagine that some big hub would be created in each country within the Ebola zone.  That hub.....run by three or four thousand Army and Air Force personnel....would pick up identified patients....run them through a personalized check.....then push them onto a prioritized system.  A special cargo plane would land with a container to quarantine them for the fourteen-hour flight.

My guess is that the stress of the flight would worsen their condition a fair bit, and if they were three or four days into the worst part of the episode.....a quarter of the folks would pass away within a day or two after arrival in the US.  Our care wouldn't matter to those folks.

Thousands?  I can only take a guess that the initial surge would mean a thousand people a week needing this transport.  Maybe after six months....the numbers might finally retreating with the right mix of strategy and tactics.

The question becomes....for those who survive....would they willingly get back on the plane and fly back to Liberia?  My humble guess is that most will ask to stay.  In this willingness to help out these folks.....we will basically open up a Pandoras Box.  Ten thousand?  Maybe forty thousand Ebola survivors.....intent on staying?

For this reason, if any government idiots or White House idiots really support this type of idea....I'd go and do something radical.  I'd find the most remote area of New Mexico.....in the midst of the desert, and make that the Ebola center for these folks.  Then when they talk of immigrating or staying.....I'd have a law that basically says you have to stay in that rural and remote area of New Mexico for ten years before citizenship could occur, and you were forbidden from leaving the state of New Mexico....until you wrapped up that residency requirement.

I'm hoping that this is just a joke, or the work of a guy trying to impress his boss with new and creative ideas.  It just isn't something you'd want to start.