Saturday, 26 September 2015

Last Observation of the Car Show

 My last four comments over the Frankfurt Auto Show:

First, one of the top ten reasons you attend....is to note the models hired to 'talk' about the new cars.  There's at least forty car companies there and each hires a minimum of a dozen models....who wear the company-approved clothing....always showing a lot of leg and cleavage.

You tend to be amazed as you walk up to a car and some gal quickly walks up and lets you know eight amazing facts about this new model.  Then you ask this stupid question about the tires or the engine, and she's got this deer-in-the-highlights look.  You've gone one step beyond the eight lines that she memorized. Then she turns and gives the signal to 'Doctor Johnny' who is some car engineer guy in a suit, who walks over and then starts to bring tears to your eyes over the 16,000 interesting things about this particular model.  'Doctor Johnny' wears a suit and has zero sex appeal....even to women over the age of fifty.

I've often been curious where they find these gals and how they train them the week prior to the show.  Each one fits into her suit and it's simply a 'sexed-up' piece of clothing which helps to sell the cars, in my humble opinion.  Some companies....like Mercedes are very picky about the suit and it's more professional.  Some companies, like the Chinese car makers....try to show as much skin as possible.  I'm guessing the car show management has some rules....otherwise, all of the ladies would be in bikinis.

Second observation.  The Audi guys turned their entire building into some life-time experience.  You weave through a massive crowd and it takes ten minutes to get to the front door.

Then you enter some stairway to reach the 'ice-room'.  They brought in a dozen slabs of arctic ice with blue lighting in the background.  The temperature in the room is probably 25 degrees, and fairly chilly.  Then you exit to this big long extended hallway with flashing red-lights.   If you were epileptic in nature....you'd be all over the floor.  Finally you come to the end of the light show room and there's this gal with a big long stick and this 12-step downward stairway.  She's there to whack you and get you back to your senses that you have to be careful and watch your step.  I imagine a dozen-odd people fell down the stairway over the whole show.  Why they need to have some stairway deal built into this or all the flashing lights.....is beyond me.

Third.  I come to the number of bikes shown at the show.  I know.....it's an auto show, but there were at least forty different battery-powered bikes on display.  This one is designed in a way similar to some small motorcycle, and has the battery-pack for added boost.

Germans are hyped up about this trend.  Most everyone is trading in their old style bike for the battery powered deal.  The odd thing is this cost factor.  You can't find a single battery-powered bike for less than $1,750 (1,500 Euro).  I was looking at some bikes at the show and they were in the 3,000 Euro range.

The batteries themselves?  Well, no one says much but it's hard for me to see them lasting more than three or four years with the recharge business.  Getting a new one?  No one says much over the cost factor, but I doubt if these are cheap.  And I'd have serious doubts that you could order this and install the battery yourself.  Probably takes some certified bike mechanic to make the change-out.

Fourth and final.  I come to the yearly demonstration of a useless personal gadget which pops up at these shows.  These are health-related items which are usually disproved by health authorities within three months after a show episode.

This one?  A turbo 'wiggle-device'. Basically, you turn the thing on, step on it, and it's flipping you at a hefty speed.....flopping left and right.

There were probably six different stations around the whole show where they featured these.

After watching this demonstration for five minutes, I made the logical Alabama educated guess that it was a nifty engineered gadget with zero health appeal.  They had some warning sign near the station....not to hold kids while on it or pets.

Cost factor?  Unknown.  They didn't put signs up and they wanted you to stand and chat with the guy for a while before they dumped the price on you.  I'd be guessing somewhere in the five to six hundred Euro range.....for a cheap wiggle-machine made probably in China.

Course, some computer engineer guys will look at this and think it'd be neat to have in their office for that mid-afternoon low-sugar point.  Toss back a Mountain Dew and stand on the wiggle-machine for five minutes, and you'd be back in fifth gear for the final two hours of work.

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