Thursday, 15 January 2015

Bama Number One at Something

Whenever you do a statistical deal and rate the fifty states on something.....except for football and gun ownership....Alabama usually ends up around number forty-four on most collections of data.  Today, there was an odd new statistic where Alabama made it to number one......teacher to student physical relationships.

Some guy who'd served in the Bush era has been collecting numbers each year for affairs or arrests that come out in public.  The folks at did a full report on this.....noting that his analysis shows Bama as number one....with twenty-five episodes in 2014 out of a national number of 781.  He worked up the numbers to figure in per-capita.....which is probably the only way to relate it to a fair number of people.  In this fashion....we had a bigger problem than any other state.

Bama has this law which basically says.....any employee of the school system....even the counter gal with the chow-hall....that has a relationship with a kid younger than bound for jail-time.

You can ask around and I suspect ninety-nine percent of all school employees know of the law, and the potential for jail.....but it doesn't really matter.  Folks do stupid things, as we say in Bama.

Alcohol and drugs involved?  Well....there might be some cases like this, but I doubt if it'd be worth discussing.

What will happen with this rating?  Nothing much.  Folks will talk about it at church and PTA meetings.  Some might go to their son Randy or daughter Candy......asking them if they know such students or teachers, and get some freaky look like you shot a dog or something.  A few folks will write letters into the local paper.....saying we need to jack up jail-time for perverts like this, but then get shocked with it's mostly female teachers that get into trouble.

I really didn't have this problem in the 60's and 70's....most of my teachers were either WW II or Vietnam War vets, or old women who drove Buicks.

Somewhere after the 1970s....things got whipped up into a frenzy and folks got lusty feelings (not just the students).  Maybe all of the war vets retired, and the old Buick gals decided to cash in and enjoy the golden years and a hefty Bama pension check.  New folks arrived....thinking that they were just in phase two of college, where lots of weird and kinky things happen.

The twenty-five episodes reported in Bama?  I'd take a strong guess that it's just ten-percent of the real number, and that thousands of folks would tell their story if they weren't afraid of getting jail-time or lots of trouble.

My suggestion?  Every month....put a slip of paper into the mailbox of each teacher and employee of the school system that requires a signature.  It'll be a two-line memo that just says.....if you get into love-trouble with the school attendees.....we don't pay you a penny of your pension.  You might mention that it's a minimum of two years in a state prison just for special effect.  And then just let that thought keep coming back....month after month.  A little reminder....that's all.

Course, this won't affect the forty sixteen year old slutty gals who are having weekly episodes with the football or basketball team from your local school.  In that's just a parent episode to manage, and frankly.....good luck.