I noticed this week, there's talk of a Baywatch 'reboot'....meaning that some network executives have decided that Baywatch in 2016....might appeal to a vast audience....so redesign it to a degree, find some new actors, and work on scripts that might be better than the previous show.
For those who don't remember....Baywatch went through one season (1989) and was deemed a failure. Part of this was the background of Hawaii used as the central theme for the show.
So, Baywatch emerged in 1991....set in southern California....running until 2001 (11 total seasons and 242 episodes). To this date....I've watched a total of two episodes. There was a faint bit of script....tied to a thin-story-line....that seemed to revolve around the lifeguards and some opera-like device that involved danger, romance or comedy.
I've come to this view....some shows really don't need a reboot or an attempt to modernize with a different theme. My ten on the forbidden list?
1. Bonanza. I just don't see how anyone could out-act Hoss or Little Joe. Nor can I see the story-line improving....without shooting a bunch of folks on a weekly basis. The Hop-Sing guy would likely be replaced by some Kung-Fu Chinese female cook, and Adam would likely be some gay character who rides over to Silver City one gay saloon for quiet afternoon beers with his buddies. None of this would work with the public.
2. The Dukes of Hazard. Basically, if they reboot the show....there'd be meth dopers in the background, corrupt cops, trailer trash women on the verge of redemption, Republican political figures in honky-tonk relationships, Democratic political figures in corruption scandals, and Latino friends of Bo Duke. The boys would likely be driving some GM car which mostly just sits in the front-yard of their trailer....because of maintenance issues. And some comedian would appear weekly to instruct the guys on ways to bar-b-q roadkill.
3. Mork and Mindy. A reboot? Mork would be half-male, half-female, and half-android (a Al Gore Man-Bear-Pig figure). Mindy would be doped up on pain-killers half the time. Several neighbors would be in open conflict with Mork's habits (mostly thinking he's from El Salvador and thus a foreigner). The TV executives would demand some drama to occasionally occur....where Mork would be on the run from evil US government agents.
4. Bosom Buddies. A reboot? It'd be two women in male outfits....trying to live in a male's only (gay) apartment complex. It's be called a failure after the first episode.
5. Adam-12. A reboot? Some fake personal relationship dynamics would be tossed into the theme, and a dozen oddball characters from the street would be added for comedy or dramatic purposes. One of the two would be shot or beat-up on every third episode.....with the other guy drifting around on mind-altering drugs from time to time.
6. Happy Daze. A reboot? Basically the story of some Chicago thug family in the 1990s trying to survive in some comic haze of shootings, robberies, and drug-cartel business. Strictly dramatic.
7. Bewitched. A reboot? It'd be some Hungarian witch in trampy clothing and attached to some mid-40's computer geek engineer.
8. Dark Shadows. A reboot? This is probably the only show which could shock people and scare a large portion of American society. With all the Dracula stuff and Werewolves of today....you could go off and do some pretty scary stuff. You could induce Mafia thugs, bad guys from gangs, and suddenly some Barnabas Collins guy walks in and fixes problems real quick.
9. Route 66. A reboot? To be honest, Route 66 just never had any real scripting direction and they made 116 episodes mostly about a guy traveling around in a Corvette and working day jobs here and there. The thing was....you could basically turn the sound down to nothing and just sit there to observe the details, the background characters, and the story really didn't matter. Today? No one would believe some guy driving around in a Corvette with no real cash and working some job at Wal-Mart or Piggy Wiggly.
10. Lost in Space. A reboot? An alien per episode? After they end up on the lesbian planet, the viewers start asking stupid questions about all these weird aliens. Then you'd land on the chubby green guy planet and have some weird episode unfold with Doctor Smith and some magical mystery weed that he smoked. It'd fail after one single season.