Thursday, 23 June 2016

Mayberry in 2016

I've probably watched every episode of the Andy Griffith Show at least ten times each.  For the record, my most favorite one was the one where goat ate the dynamite.

People feel an attachment to Mayberry, because it was where good things happened and things got sorted out.  In today's world?  Mayberry would be in total chaos.

Barney would likely be fired on day ten of his employment because of his reckless gun-play and threats made to various residents of the town.

Andy would have some connection to a meth dealer and a corrupt mayor....leading to occasional episodes where you felt he was outside of the law.

Gomer would have been fired after three months at the gas station because of incompetence.

Goober would have gotten into women trouble....having some gal's ex-boyfriend pull a pistol on him or threaten him.

Floyd the barber would have been suspected of money-laundering.

Otis would have been sent off to some rehab in Atlanta where he spent six months drying out and later converted into some Baptist minister.

Howard Sprague would have been accused of being a right-wing Republican, and run out of town.

Ernest T. Bass would have been apprehended....sent to some mental ward in the state capital....and end up on some medication where he was suddenly squared away, and a certified rocket scientist for NASA.

Andy's chief worry in 2016 would be meth labs in town, and random nutcases.  He'd be continually asked his opinion on gun licenses, assault rifles, and asked to patrol more at night.

No one would feel safe in Mayberry, unless the police department had twelve cops and a trained assault squad.

At least once a year....Andy would have some shoot-out with gang members from Charleston or Nashville.

At least one Muslim family would be living in Mayberry, and they'd continually be getting reported to the cops for something out of the ordinary.

Twenty-percent of Mayberry would be Latino, and they'd all be on a first-name basis with Andy.

The sad thing is that there was a time when some place like Merryberry could survive.  The time has passed now.

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