Monday, 1 August 2016

How to become an Alabama Recognized Lobbyist

Most guys in Alabama aspire to get a hunting/fishing license, and maybe get registered up with the Cattlemen's Association.  After that, there are probably forty other "clubs" that guys might want to join or pretend to be a member of.

So I did research today and came to the area of Alabama law, which would make you a recognized lobbyist in the state.  It means you can have a business card.....make up a fake but realistic lobby group.....and pretend to entice Alabama political folks into doing stupid things beyond the norm of stupidity.

So, first, it costs $100.  I know....that is a fair sum of money for a regular Alabama guy.....amounting to five cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, or six dinners at the Catfish Cabin with all the trimmings.

So you fill out the form....your full name and business address.  No fake names....although you can have a nickname like "Winky" or "Low-Ball" or "Bear".

You will require a business address, but it's safe to use your house address, or the last trailer-park address where your mistress was accepting mail for you.

Then you have to list all the categories of subject matter which you will be lobbying for.  For example....if it's gambling, you can just say gambling.  Or you could say 'school revenue generation' instead of gambling if it bothers your morals so much.

Now, if you are working for a group or corporation, you need to state this.  For example, if you are lobbying for Buddy's Fish Fry or Uncle Tip's Beverage Shack.....just state it in simple language.

Then finally, you need a letter from each player in this group stating they understand who you are and that you are working in their interest.

At that point, you get back a form, and for the next year.....you are a recognized lobbyist in Alabama.

Several hundred folks are listed and you have to sit there and wonder.....just how much state and local money is being tossed around and part of some lobbying effort in the state.  A gambling lobby versus a anti-gambling lobby?  Well, yeah.  A hunting lobby group versus a anti-hunting lobby group?  Yep.

So, if you were looking for something to bulk up your business card and had a hundred bucks just sitting there.....this might be a decent way to get a reputation in the local area.

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