Friday, 26 August 2016

What My Resume Might Say

I sat this past week on the topic of resumes, and simple experiences.  I am retired for the most part....and it shouldn't even enter into my mind.  But I sat and contemplated all of the various skills or crafts that I got dragged my life:

- Farm craft (this is the level where you are allowed to operate the tractor, herd cows, cultivate, and haul hay without supervision)
- Snow removal (with one hour of orientation, I became a snow removal guy....even if I was from Alabama and had never seen more than one inch up until that moment of orientation).
- Concrete and asphalt
- Heavy equipment operator (Sarge gives you eight minutes of his time on X, Y and Z vehicles, then he signs you off.  I was qualified on a fire-truck once....which made no sense)
- Graphic arts (I've built probably 5,000 slides over my entire life)
- Librarian
- Analyst (you end explaining a forty-page problem in two minutes to some guy who has to make a decision on something that he has no knowledge about)
- Purchaser (you either help the idiot spend money, or you manage their credit card enough to ensure no one goes to jail)
- Lawn maintenance (the AF ensured I had lots of training in this art)
- Presentations (I basically gave speeches)
- Trainer
- Planner (you step in to plan what shouldn't have to be planned, or when emergencies occur that need people focused on the right outcome)
- Property manager (you make sure that things aren't lost, even when they appear to be)
- Building manager (you call the electrican or plumber, and ensure that things work like they should)
- Instructor
- Watch guy (you basically sit and wait for something to happen)
- Manager
- Sand-bag technician (you fill bags.....lots of bags....then stack them)
- Fork-lift operator
- Bus-driver
- Snack operation manager (you basically decide how the Coke-Pepsi-diet drink ratio works with an office of 30 people)
- Editor
- Child-behavior analyst (that's what you call a guy who has to ensure Lt's grow up and become real leaders)
- Base beautification technician (you paint rocks, trim hedges, and fake people out with 2-star landscaping efforts)
- Computer expert (you walk around with 300 3x5 cards of marginally useful information but know what cables to check, or how to reboot a computer, or know what the E42 error is on a HP laserjet printer).

At the end of all of this....the best you can say is that I was a multi-task guy who carried around 30,000 3x5 cards in my pocket.

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