Wednesday, 23 March 2016

The 274-Training (Alabama)

Being a resident of Alabama means that you have to often stand and look at some stupid act that the state government has committed and often have folks ask you how and why they did that.

Well.....this week....the Alabama Senate Education Policy Committee worked up Senate Bill 274 (the Educator-Student Interaction Training Act).

It got through the committee and will go to the full senate later this week.

Naturally, you'd ask what's really in 274?

Well....they felt down in Montgomery that teachers in Alabama have been having wild and crazy relations (in bloom closets) to such a degree.....that they need an hour of mandated training per year that teaches you (after four years of college) to avoid lusty affairs with students and instructs you on proper and acceptable social meda action with students.

I should note.....there is a minor part to 274 which deals with all the various ways you can inflict paddling upon a student.

You can imagine the principal standing there in some group of forty-odd teachers from his school, and this hour of training has come up.  So, he gets up and talks about how you might fall under the spell of booze, pills, drugs, or the devil.....and do something crazy.

He's naturally looking at mostly guys, but then he chats about women and their craziness to get up relationships with their thirteen-year-old male students.

Then he'll chat for a while about Facebooking or Twittering with teenagers, and how chat can go from innocent to really hot lusty stuff in one afternoon.....trying hard not to incriminate himself because he might have made "friends" with some sixteen-year-old gal from last year.

I think if 274 does pass.....after a while....some professional training agency will make a training-video on immoral acts with teens, and describe the twelve ways that you might fall into a lusty affair with your students.

Some Bible folks will pick up the discussion and chat about how the devil gets into computer chats, and brings sin to your front door.....saying it's better that you give up computers entirely.

After a while.....some guy from an audience will wake up at some point where Ms Jones (the 9th grade English teacher) hints that she's unhappy, and in need of a "friend".  So this male teacher (Coach Bob) will harp on the fact that instead of women teachers looking for illicit affairs with young male students....they ought to hook up with other male teachers or coaches.....well.....like himself.  Ms Jones will gaze over, and give Coach Bob a wink, and the two will meet up after the 274-seminar deal in the broom closet in Coach Bob's office.

I know folks try to do the right thing in life, but mandating this 274-training.....I have my doubts that it'll do much.

Trying to Make Sense Out of Belgium

If you are from Alabama, you tend to admit (at least in private conversations with a handful of people), that from the "circle" of folks around you (kin-folk, neighbors, and associates).....these forty-odd people that you really "know" (I emphasize the word "know" to mean that it's more than just you know their address or telephone number).....that at least three of the forty are mildly or completely crazy.

Now, in Alabama....being crazy means a wide variety of things.  You might be crazy and building a forty-foot tower above your house which does some kind of reverse heating business, and cools off the house remarkably well.  It's rocket-science crazy.

Or, you might have some relative who think they are George Wallace or some French king.   That's identity crazy.

Or, you might have a neighbor who drinks a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer each day....starting at 7AM and finishing off at 9PM.  And they've done the case per day for twenty-five years.  That's drinking crazy.

Or, you might have a neighbor who likes to hunt for frogs in the dark, and has been bit by copperhead snakes on several occasions.  That's hunter crazy.

Or, you might have some cousin who knows every football score of the University of Alabama since 1968, and wants to visit you on Sundays after each game to discuss at length what they did right or wrong in the Saturday game.  That's NCAA crazy.

Or, you might have some whacked-out neighbor who is always sixty seconds away from killing you because you were of the wrong religious group.  That's serious and deadly crazy.

Well, here is the thing about life in Belgium.  Six percent of the population (11 million) are Muslim.  Even with the best guesses.....at least 1,500 folks are crazy enough with their religion....that they might be willing to kill over some words spoken from 1,300 years ago.  Toss on another 10,000 who are borderline and could make some judgement call tomorrow that you and your fellow riders on some subway car ought to be sent onto some judgement day.

You can do the statistics all day long.....but they come back to the same point.  You got a bunch of people who aren't on the same page of life as you, and are the type who need to be locked up in some facility for the rest of their lives.  No one is willing to sign such paperwork, and you just drift around....hoping that they don't go crazy today....while you are at the grocery, the post-office, riding the subway, or going on some exotic trip to Copenhagen to visit your mistress.

At some point, you will just admit that it doesn't make much sense, and then find that ninety-five percent of society feels the same way as you.  And now what?